The Pope Visits Donald Trump

Walking on water demonstrates pontiff point


Donald Trump invited the Pope for lunch on his mega yacht. The Pope accepted, and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the Pontiff’s hat off, right into the water. It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated away.

The crew and the security team were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Trump waved them off, saying “Never mind, boys, I will get it.”

The Donald climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed onto the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat.

The crew was speechless. The security team and the Pope’s entourage were speechless.

No one knew what to say, not even the Pope.

But that afternoon, NBC knew how to cover the story. Their banner headline read, “Trump Can’t Swim.”


QuotaBills
I would have made a good Pope. - Richard M Nixon

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Unknown

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


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17-Jul-2019