Real Estate Guide
To Surrey's Fabulous Character Homes
House #5
(Click on house image below to expand to full size)
Owner's Quote:
"Why are you taking pictures of my house? Gimme that camera, you wiseass jerk!"
[Leroy
was hostile at first, thinking I was from Revenue Canada. He warmed up after I told him
his home would be featured on the internet along with his telephone number so chicks could
call him. Ended up drinking homemade firewater with him on the rear patio until a police
raid next door put an end to our socializing...]
Special Features:
* Five foot clearance in carport perfect for diminutive folks.
* Tasteful
“Termites Not Welcome” mailbox sign has worked for 3 of the last 5
years!
* "Sub Par" rating comes from rusted roof pipes (ripped off from a vintage WW II
Russian submarine) - great for closeup views of night traffic and roving drug dealers.
* Peeling paint on siding gives this showhome the hot new
“distressed” look.
* Tenants live rent-flea (6,500 cockroaches can't be wrong).
* Never worry about dry rot again - this has plenty!
* Don't let the surrounding low rental condos fool you - this one's a steal (it's steal on
the market after 18 years).