Excessive Wind Joe-ks
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?
Nurse: No change yet.
Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.
Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?
Doctor: No, throw them away like everybody else.
Patient: Tell me, doctor. Is it serious?
Doctor: Well, I wouldn't advise you to start watching any serials on TV.
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in
a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?
Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?
Tom: Shhh, doctor! My dog's outside in the waiting room!
Prisoner: Look here, doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids,
and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!
Doctor: I am, bit by bit.
Tom: What's good for excessive wind, doctor?
Doctor: A kite!