Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Candlestine romance - Archie Bunker

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. - Steve Martin

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

Mankind's greatest gift is that we have free choice. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. - Steve Prefontaine

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention. - Jim Rohn

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Marriage,  Shopping  &  Stress  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
My Last Swim In The Ocean
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Last Photo I Took
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Ford Door Lock

Found The Jackpot

2fer Sudoku Puzzles C

DiscourageMeant

Bear's Submarine Patrol

Cat Got Your Tail?

Slingshot Shoes

Redneck Seafood Dinner

Emergency Bridge Repair Team

Balanced Meal

Canadian Car Crash

Florida Car Alarm

Dog Lookout

India Road Assistance

ZipHer

Samurai Sudoku Puzzles C

Lucky Calf

Moose Camouflage

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Douglas Fir Log Home
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

21-Apr-2018