Sheer Surprise

The husband’s last gift


A husband walks into Fredrick’s of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that I might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral services are pending...


QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Brevity is the soul of lingerie. - Dorothy Parker

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Unknown

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

God gave us the gift of lie; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. - Voltaire

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. - Bill Keane

Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Marriage,  Shopping  &  Stress  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
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Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
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My Last Swim In The Ocean
Names of the Colours
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When Men Shop For Groceries
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17-Oct-2019