Q: Why can't you take a turkey to Church?
A: They use fowl language.

Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth rock

Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: He has the drumsticks.

Q: What side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside.

Q: Can a turkey jump higher than the empire state building?
A: Yes, a building can't jump at all.

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.

Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A: Their age.

Mischievous Turkeys

Just before Thanksgiving, the holding pen was abuzz as Mother Turkey scolded her younger birds.
"You turkeys are always into mischief," she gobbled.
"If your grandfather could see the things you do, he'd turn over in his gravy."

 

6-Legged Turkey

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.
His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone.
After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together.
"Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
"I don't know" said the farmer.
"I never could catch the darn thing!"

 

Top 10 Reasons College Students Are Looking Forward to Thanksgiving Break

10. You'll know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than a Grade E yet semi-edible fur ball.
9. Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes and stuffing with an ice cream scooper.
8. Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green Jello.
7. After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency dash to the bathroom will not be delayed by having to line the seat with toilet paper.
6. Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car, bedroom larger than a 12x14 cell... OK, even if it is for only four days.
5. To eat your meals the only trek you'll have to make is from the couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the dining hall... in below freezing weather.
4. Instead of listening to "when I first started teaching here..." you can be entertained by "when your mother was your age..." and "during the Depression we weren't lucky enough to have brussels sprouts. Hell, all we could afford was the sprout!"
3. You can eat your corn steamed with butter rather than popped in your microwave.
2. You'll know the hair in the shower drain is your own.
1. You won't be eating your Thanksgiving meal off a tray!

Thanksgiving Blessing

see also   Thanksgiving  Section