If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, you're aiming too high.

Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

If you want a nice man, go for a bald one - they try harder.

Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Scientists have discovered something that can do the work of five men - a woman.

Men's brains are like the prison system: not enough cells per man.

Husbands are like children: they're fine if they're someone else's.

Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.

Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all there.

Tell him you're not his type: you have a pulse.

Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be let out alone.

Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

The children of Israel wandered around the desert for forty years. Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.

If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

A man's idea of a serious commitment is usually, "Oh, all right, I'll stay the night."

Remember: a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him joe-ks; it means you laugh at his.

Sadly, all men are created equal.