Coffin Attack

Coffin Attacks @ Halloween?

Curse of the banging coffin

A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him. Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces quickly after him, faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and locks the door behind him. However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin flapping... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door. Coming slowly towards him, the man screaming, reaches for something, anything...

All he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin ...

... and... of... course,

... the coffin stops!


QuotaBills
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Love, and a cough, cannot be hid. - George Herbert

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

When at a loss how to go on, in speaking, cough. - Greek Proverb

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back. - Paul Erdos

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

I don't think there's such a thing as unprovoked shark attack. - Peter Benchley

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Many an attack of depression is nothing but the expression of regret at having to be virtuous. - Wilhelm Stekel

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. - Billy Connolly

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


see also   Halloween  &  Tombstone   Sections

 

Marital Rating Chart - Husband

Advantage of an Extra Long Straw

Squirrel Gymnast

Economic Stimulation

Financial Meltdown

Redneck Tailgate

Marital Rating Chart - Wife

Mona Lisa - Behind The Scenes

Cultivator

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

TP Safety

Crochet Shorts

Wine Bottle Recycling

Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

20-Mar-2019