Coffin Attack

Coffin Attacks @ Halloween?

Curse of the banging coffin

A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him. Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces quickly after him, faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and locks the door behind him. However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin flapping... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door. Coming slowly towards him, the man screaming, reaches for something, anything...

All he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin ...

... and... of... course,

... the coffin stops!


QuotaBills
I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

My only career goal is to be an Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer

Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back. - Paul Erdos

I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me. - Amit Abraham

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

Suppose you get an attack of gastriasis in the middle of the night. - Archie Bunker

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson

This poor pumpkin gave in to rot,
and all that's left is pumpkin snot. - Shirley Thomas

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

Wrestlers in the U.S.A. are very aggressive. All they want to do is attack, but they'll make mistakes. - Kurt Angle

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch. - Jane Austen

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


see also   Halloween  &  Tombstone   Sections

 

Tooth Ferry

Biker Faucet

Eye For Coffee

Electric Unicycle

Keep Right

Canadian Fast Food - Summer

Canadian Lemmings

Dad Sandwich

The Five Second Rule

Genuine Fake Watches

Soccer Watch

Debt Sentence

Samurai Sudoku Puzzles A

Saskatchewan Roads

Castor Oil Lineup
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

22-Jun-2017