Coffin Attack

Coffin Attacks @ Halloween?

Curse of the banging coffin

A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him. Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...

The man begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces quickly after him, faster... faster... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and locks the door behind him. However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin flapping... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. With a CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door. Coming slowly towards him, the man screaming, reaches for something, anything...

All he can find is a box of cough drops!

Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin ...

... and... of... course,

... the coffin stops!


QuotaBills
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Antitoxidote cruisin' through my system looking for some disease to attack. - Archie Bunker

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Maybe all the people who say ghosts don't exist are just afraid to admit that they do. - Michael Ende

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Wrestlers in the U.S.A. are very aggressive. All they want to do is attack, but they'll make mistakes. - Kurt Angle

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch. - Jane Austen

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. - Billy Connolly

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


see also   Halloween  &  Tombstone   Sections

 

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28-Apr-2017