[The Washington Post’s “Mensa Invitational” asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter to create a new word, and then to supply an appropriate definition for the new word. Here are some recent winners...]
ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
BEELZEBUG: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
BOZONE: The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
CASHTRATION: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
CATERPALLOR: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
DECAFALON: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
DOPELER EFFECT: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly (usually after a few drinks).
FOREPLOY: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
GIRAFFITI: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
GLIBIDO: All talk and no action.
HIPATITIIS: Terminal coolness.
INOCULATTE: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
INTAXICATION: Euphoria at getting a tax refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
KARMAGEDDON: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like a serious bummer.
OSTEOPORNOSIS: A degenerate disease.
REINTARNATION: Coming back to life as a Redneck.
SARCHASM: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.
Mensa is a national organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher.
Daffynitions & Redneck Dictionary Sections
Annual Meeting of Women Drivers
The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character
Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball
Big Hands Baby
Fire Truck Sinkhole
I Sea Drums
Statue of Libertea
Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Burrito