Howloween

Looking for a canine ghoulfriend?

We now paws for pet pumpkins



Howloween Celebration



QuotaBills
So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held

The only way you can become a legend is in your coffin. - Bette Davis

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

This poor pumpkin gave in to rot,
and all that's left is pumpkin snot. - Shirley Thomas

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee


see also   Dog  &  Halloween  Sections
Halloween Birth
Pumpkin Art
Pumpkin Buns
Pumpkin Face

 

Driveway Paving

Darth Vader Models

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Tall Secret

Can Never Have Too Many Tools

Mouth Candy

Go Winterized

Stick Family Meal

Newfie Snowplow

Welder's Last Stand

Pointless

Escape The Bull

Gas-Resistant Pram

Winter Traffic Lights

Helping Hands In The Stands

How To Reduce Complaints at Work

Frozen Hairstyle

Economy Flight Plan

Calling In Sick - Snow Job for the Boss

Punctuation Matters
Submissions by Maria HendersonFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

17-Jan-2017