U.S. Navy Ships

“I saw these ships come sailing in...”

Ships in U.S. naval history



USS Ronald Reagan
Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective
USS Reagan

When the Bridge pipes “Man the Rail”, there’s a lot of rail to man on this monster:
shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is 100,000 tons
with full complement.

Capability
Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for
more than 20 years without refueling.
1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years
2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft
3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour
in less than 400 feet

Size
1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline
2. 1092 feet long - nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall
3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres
4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds
5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet, weighing 50 tons
6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

Capacity
1. Home to 6,000 Navy personnel
2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days
3. 18,150 meals served daily
4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from
sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes
5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures, 1,325 miles of cable, and 1,400 telephones
6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets


USS Jimmy Carter
USS Jimmy Carter

The USS Jimmy Carter is a secret aircraft carrier, based on
Canada’s STOL (Short Takeoff and Landing) technology.
It’s so secret that noone knows whether it did “takeoff.”

USS William Jefferson Clinton
USS Clinton

The USS William Jefferson Clinton set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, B.C.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton
“for his foresight in military budget cuts” and his conduct while formerly holding
the office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar
powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one unarmed
F14 Tomcat or one unarmed F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be
launched from the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board.
This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid
conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in
any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are
limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises
all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada.


USS Barack Hussein Obama
USS Barack Hussein Obama

Details are vague. But don’t worry - he has a plan.



QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

There is no gambling like politics. - Benjamin Disraeli

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships, and burnt the towers of Ilium? - Christopher Marlowe

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. - Thomas Aquinas

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


see also   History,  Military  &  Ship  Sections
Canada’s Secret Aircraft Carrier
Defence Budget Cuts

 

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22-Aug-2019