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Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Astrology is a disease, not a science. - Maimonides

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes. - William Shakespeare

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

The number one disease of business leaders in North America is procrastination. - Napoleon Hill

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I think I have a disease called spontaneous disclosure. I need to tell everyone my life story instantaneously. - Kelly Ripa

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism. - Robert Frost

Alzheimer's disease starts when a protein that should be folded up properly misfolds into a kind of demented origami. - Gregory Petsko

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler