I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...
I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK,
I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I
notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack....
BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be
paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?
Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for
BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the
window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and
there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the
cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants...
BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.
END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the
sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control...
And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I
KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help...
BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail.
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date. - Caroline Rhea
I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller
The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
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