Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Searching for a cure for hyperactivity?


I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...

I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack....
BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?

Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook...
BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away...
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants...
BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.

END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control... And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help...
BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail.


QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor


see also   Aging  &  Medical  Sections
A. A. A. D. D.
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22-May-2019