I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...
I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK,
I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I
notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack....
BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be
paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?
Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for
BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the
window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and
there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the
cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants...
BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.
END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the
sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control...
And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I
KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help...
BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail.
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein
Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date. - Caroline Rhea
I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Aging & Medical Sections
A. A. A. D. D.
Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?
Dreams Come True
Double Line Parking
Nose For Coke
3 Stages Of A Man's Life
Home Depot Delivery
Taco Bell Secret Seasoning
Are You OK?
Annual Meeting of Women Drivers
The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character