I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder...
I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK,
I’m going to do the laundry... BUT FIRST I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I
notice the mail on the table. OK, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack....
BUT FIRST.... I’ll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be
paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook?
Oops! there’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for
BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the
window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and
there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the
cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put the remote away and water the plants...
BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.
END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the
sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control...
And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because...I
KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious... I’d get help...
BUT FIRST... I think I’ll check my e-mail.
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Aging & Medical Sections
A. A. A. D. D.
Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?
Dreams Come True
Jigsaw Sudoku Puzzles A
Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars
Wine Improves With Age
Will To Live
Quick Rubik's Cube
Greek Financial Path
Fit Yourself Swimsuit
Greek Sudoku Puzzles A
Eye Halve A Spelling Checker
Israeli Moving Company