Hiding Bald

Whatever it takes to keep the toupee on

When Mr. O’Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O’Leary called the undertaker aside for a private talk.

“Please be sure to secure his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald,” she confided, “and he’d never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. But our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they’re through paying their last respects.”
“Rest assured, Mrs. O’Leary,” comforted the undertaker. “I’ll fix it so that toupee will never come off.”

Sure enough, the day of the wake the old timers were giving O’Leary’s ancient corpse quite a going over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place. At the end of the day, a delighted Mrs. O’Leary offered the undertaker an extra hundred dollars for handling the matter so professionally.
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly accept your money,” protested the undertaker.
“What’s a few nails?”



QuotaBills
Jazz is democracy in music. - Wynton Marsalis

Music describes what words can't. - Unknown

Without music, life would be a mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is. - Noel Coward

Music is spiritual. The music business is not. - Van Morrison

Music is what our soul sounds like when it sings. - Xila Toro

Without music, life is a journey through a desert. - Pat Conroy

Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. - Ronald Reagan

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

Music isn't for the eyes - it's for the ears. - Adele

Life exists for the love of music or beautiful things. - G K Chesterton

Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable. - Samuel Johnson

Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. - Oscar Wilde

The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen. - August Rush

You just pick a chord, go twang, and you've got music. - Sid Vicious

After Rossini dies, who will there be to promote his music? - Richard Wagner

Yoga is almost like music in a way; there's no end to it. - Sting

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

No one can whistle a symphony. It takes an orchestra to play it. - H.E. Luccock

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name. - Unknown

Life is a rich strain of music, suggesting a realm too fair to be. - George William Curtis

Country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy. - Dierks Bentley

You can run out of garlic, but you can't really run out of music. - Jace Wayland

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart. - Pablo Casals

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

The trouble with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music does. - Unknown

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

I think my music is like anchovies - some people like it, some people get nauseous. - Barry Manilow

My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't. - Simon Cowell

Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it. - John Lennon

It is simply my life, music. I live it, breathe it, talk with it. I am almost unconscious of it. - Arthur Rubinstein

Boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. - Jack Handey

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After that, you're on your own. - Groucho Marx

Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. - Charlie Parker

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes


see also   Hairstyle  Section
CATastrophe - How To Lionize Your Cat
Chesthair
Close Shave
Fountain Of Youth
Hair Ad - Just Add Self
Hair Moan Therapy
Hair Strengthener
Haircut For Staff Meetings
Head Path
Horse Hair
Inflatable Toupee
Seinfeld Haircut
Shaved by Grace
Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet
Taking Donations For Scissors


 

Nose Knocker

Flash Mob

Mega Samurai Puzzles B

Pecking Order

Face Palm

Hold On Tight

Russian Beach

New Driver Training

Tired Flagpole

Coffee Steps

Royal Flush

Swallow Swallow

Bronx School Bus

Gay Dog

Lead Sled Dog

Copy Paste

Designer Shoes

1954 Prom Queen

Marshmallow Crop

'Do Not Read' Sign
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16-Jul-2018