Hiding Bald

Whatever it takes to keep the toupee on

When Mr. O’Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O’Leary called the undertaker aside for a private talk.

“Please be sure to secure his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald,” she confided, “and he’d never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. But our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they’re through paying their last respects.”
“Rest assured, Mrs. O’Leary,” comforted the undertaker. “I’ll fix it so that toupee will never come off.”

Sure enough, the day of the wake the old timers were giving O’Leary’s ancient corpse quite a going over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place. At the end of the day, a delighted Mrs. O’Leary offered the undertaker an extra hundred dollars for handling the matter so professionally.
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly accept your money,” protested the undertaker.
“What’s a few nails?”



QuotaBills
Jazz is democracy in music. - Wynton Marsalis

Music is the shorthand of emotion. - Leo Tolstoy

He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder

Music is the soundtrack of your life. - Dick Clark

Music describes what words can't. - Unknown

Kind words are the music of the world. - F.W. Faber

Without music, life would be a mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Music is a means of rapid transportation. - John Cage

Country music is three chords and the truth. - Harlan Howard

Rock and roll: music for the neck downwards. - Keith Richards

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

I like your opera. I think I will set it to music. - Ludwig van Beethoven

The earth has its music for those who will listen. - George Santayana

Life exists for the love of music or beautiful things. - G K Chesterton

Yoga is almost like music in a way; there's no end to it. - Sting

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

No one can whistle a symphony. It takes an orchestra to play it. - H.E. Luccock

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name. - Unknown

People haven't always been there for me, but music always has. - Taylor Swift

If in the afterlife there is not music, we will have to import it. - Domenico Cieri Estrada

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. - Kin Hubbard

Country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy. - Dierks Bentley

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

The power of music feels like taking a a nice brake from this busy world. - Millie DeWitt

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff. - Frank Zappa

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have hear below. - Joseph Addison

Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try. - Mary Kay Ash

I think my music is like anchovies - some people like it, some people get nauseous. - Barry Manilow

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf. - Walter Lippmann

Whatever music sounds like, I am glad to say that it does not sound in the smallest degree like German. - Oscar Wilde

The guitar is a small orchestra. It is polyphonic. Every string is a different color, a different voice. - Andres Segovia

In a weird kind of way, music has afforded me an idealism and perfectionism that I could never attain as me. - Billy Corgan

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After that, you're on your own. - Groucho Marx

Music is the great uniter. An incredible force. Something that people who differ on everything and anything else can have in common. - Sarah Dessen

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt


see also   Hairstyle  Section
CATastrophe - How To Lionize Your Cat
Chesthair
Close Shave
Fountain Of Youth
Hair Ad - Just Add Self
Hair Moan Therapy
Hair Strengthener
Haircut For Staff Meetings
Head Path
Horse Hair
Inflatable Toupee
Seinfeld Haircut
Shaved by Grace
Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet
Taking Donations For Scissors


 

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22-Jun-2017