Hiding Bald

Whatever it takes to keep the toupee on

When Mr. O’Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O’Leary called the undertaker aside for a private talk.

“Please be sure to secure his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald,” she confided, “and he’d never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. But our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they’re through paying their last respects.”
“Rest assured, Mrs. O’Leary,” comforted the undertaker. “I’ll fix it so that toupee will never come off.”

Sure enough, the day of the wake the old timers were giving O’Leary’s ancient corpse quite a going over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place. At the end of the day, a delighted Mrs. O’Leary offered the undertaker an extra hundred dollars for handling the matter so professionally.
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly accept your money,” protested the undertaker.
“What’s a few nails?”



QuotaBills
Where words fail, music speaks. - Hans Christian Anderson

Music is the soundtrack of your life. - Dick Clark

Music describes what words can't. - Unknown

Without music, life would be a mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Rock and roll: music for the neck downwards. - Keith Richards

Without music, life is a journey through a desert. - Pat Conroy

Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. - Ronald Reagan

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

Making music should not be left to the professionals. - Michelle Shocked

Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable. - Samuel Johnson

Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. - Oscar Wilde

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name. - Unknown

The symphony must be like the world. It must embrace everything. - Gustav Mahler

People haven't always been there for me, but music always has. - Taylor Swift

Life is a rich strain of music, suggesting a realm too fair to be. - George William Curtis

Country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy. - Dierks Bentley

You can run out of garlic, but you can't really run out of music. - Jace Wayland

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. - Elvis Presley

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have hear below. - Joseph Addison

Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try. - Mary Kay Ash

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't. - Simon Cowell

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Whatever music sounds like, I am glad to say that it does not sound in the smallest degree like German. - Oscar Wilde

A hundred years from now, people will listen to the music of the Beatles the same way we listen to Mozart. - Paul McCartney

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

In a weird kind of way, music has afforded me an idealism and perfectionism that I could never attain as me. - Billy Corgan

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewellery. - John Lennon

I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After that, you're on your own. - Groucho Marx

Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. - Charlie Parker

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. - Frank Zappa

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Music embodies feeling without forcing it to contend and combine with thought, as it is forced in most arts and especially in the art of words. - Franz Liszt

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all. - Steven Tyler


see also   Hairstyle  Section
CATastrophe - How To Lionize Your Cat
Chesthair
Close Shave
Fountain Of Youth
Hair Ad - Just Add Self
Hair Moan Therapy
Hair Strengthener
Haircut For Staff Meetings
Head Path
Horse Hair
Inflatable Toupee
Seinfeld Haircut
Shaved by Grace
Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet
Taking Donations For Scissors


 

Free Cat

Bee Helmet

Field of Dreams

Pool Apartments

Rich Kid On The Block

Control Brothers

What Was Missing in Japan?

Ancient Japanese Proverb

Middle East Peace

Why We're Always Out of TP

Israeli TSA

Guitar Boat

Finger Phone

In-flight Refuelling

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Bear Expectations

Money Drop

Foot Race

Statue Selfie

'Break In Motion' Brake
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25-Sep-2018