CEO Staff Assessment
The CEO of a major international corporation decided that he was in danger of
becoming too distant from his key staff. So he devised a plan to gain insight
into the way his Vice Presidents analyzed problems.
He first called in his VP of Research. The woman came in and sat down. He then
asked, “what is 2 + 2?”
She thought for a minute, frowned slightly and said, “well, if you mean the
quantity of precisely 2.0 added to another exact quantity of like substance
measuring 2.0, with no additional chemical or mechanical reactions, then the
expected output should be 4.0, on the same schedule and scale, assuming, of
course that all measurements are made in accordance with our established
procedures and calibrations, the interactions and measurements are performed in
strictly controlled settings, and overseen by our own laboratory technicians.”
Slightly troubled, the CEO said “thank you” and called in the VP of sales. Even
before the CEO hung up the phone, the VP was there, beaming. The CEO asked the
same question, “what is 2 + 2?”
The sales guy smiled broadly and said “You know, I was hoping you would ask that
question! Some of our competitors offer products that may or may not deliver the
goods when you really need it, but ours is the real thing! I mean, when you need
results, we produce! Why, you can just take one 2 like this (holding up one
hand) and another 2 like this (holding up the other hand), and just put them
together (clapping his hands together) and we’ll give you a 4 every time! If
you need reliability, style and elegance, you just can’t do any better than to
let us help you increase your bottom line like this!”
The CEO interrupted, dismissing the VP.
The CEO then started to dial up his VP of finance. But before the dialing was
complete, the VP was standing there, quietly asking, “what’s up?” The CEO asked,
as he did with the other two, “what is 2 + 2?”
The VP of finance paled, and beads of sweat broke out all over his face. He
dashed to the door, swung it open suddenly and quickly looked both ways down the
hallway. He closed and locked the door, then rushed over to the windows, closing
all of the blinds. Then he came back to the CEO and pulled out a small white
tablet. While silently mouthing the words “we should be careful” he scribbled on
the tablet, “what do we need?”