Golf Club Gifts

Only the best will do for the Arabian oil sheik


A New York stockbroker had made millions of dollars for an Arabian oil sheik. The sheik was so pleased he offered him rubies, gold, and a silver-plated Rolls-Royce. He declined the gifts, telling the sheik that he had merely done his job. But the sheik insisted.

“Well,” the broker said, “I’ve recently taken up golf. A set of golf clubs would be a fine gift.”

Weeks went by. One morning the broker received a letter from him.

“So far I have bought you three golf clubs,” it said, “but I hope you will not be disappointed because only two of them have swimming pools.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


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Golf Like I Do
Men’s Golf Rules

 

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15-Jul-2019