Granny Fanny Sues Bank

Batter Up!



Granny Fanny sues bank for a million dollars

Lawsuit and apology expected from her bank

QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

I can hold a note as long as the Chase Manhattan Bank. - Ethel Merman

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? - George Carlin

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem. - J Paul Getty

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


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24-Sep-2017