Irishman’s First Baseball Game

Striking out in the batter’s box


An Irishman moves to Canada & attends his first baseball game. The first batter approached the batter’s box, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming, “RUN, RUN.”

The next batter hit a single & the Irishman listened as the crowd again cheered, “RUN, RUN.”

The Irishman enjoyed the game & began screaming with the fans. The third batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called, “walk” and the batter started his slow trot to first base. The Irishman stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye bastard, run!”

The people around him began laughing. Embarrassed, the Irishman sat back down. A friendly fan noted the man’s embarrassment, leaned over and explained, “He can’t run - he’s got four balls.”

The Irishman stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, laddie.”


QuotaBills
I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan

A full mind is an empty baseball bat. - Branch Rickey

Cricket is basically baseball on valium. - Robin Williams

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic

I come from a long line of staunch Irish Catholics. - Robert Vaughn

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw

The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Unknown

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire. - Dan Zevin

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player. - Unknown

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel


see also   Nationality  &  Sports  Sections
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?

 

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26-May-2018