Irishman’s First Baseball Game

Striking out in the batter’s box


An Irishman moves to Canada & attends his first baseball game. The first batter approached the batter’s box, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming, “RUN, RUN.”

The next batter hit a single & the Irishman listened as the crowd again cheered, “RUN, RUN.”

The Irishman enjoyed the game & began screaming with the fans. The third batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called, “walk” and the batter started his slow trot to first base. The Irishman stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye bastard, run!”

The people around him began laughing. Embarrassed, the Irishman sat back down. A friendly fan noted the man’s embarrassment, leaned over and explained, “He can’t run - he’s got four balls.”

The Irishman stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, laddie.”


QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

You think the Welsh are friendly, but the Irish are fabulous. - Bonnie Tyler

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended. - George Bernard Shaw

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry

Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player. - Unknown

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan

That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt


see also   Nationality  &  Sports  Sections
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?

 

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23-Feb-2018