Smart Newfie Logger
Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean. When he gets to
Nanaimo, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But first he must
find a job.
He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an application as an
'experienced' logger. It's his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for
someone. But first, the bush foreman takes him for a ride in the bush in the
company pickup truck to see how much he knows. The foreman stops the truck on
the side of the road and points at a tree.
"See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many
board feet of lumber it contains."
The Newfie promptly answers, "It's a Sitka spruce and contains 383 board feet
of lumber."
The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops again about a
mile down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger door window.
and asks the same question. This time, it's a bigger tree of a different class.
"It's a Douglas fir and has 690 board feet," says the Newfie.
Now the foreman is really impressed. The Newfie has answered quickly and got the
answers right without even using a calculator! One more test. They drive a
little farther down the road, and the foreman stops again. This time, he points
across the road through his driver side window.
"And what about that one?"
Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Newfie says, "A cedar, 242 board
feet."
The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office. He's a little
ticked off because he thinks that the Newfie is smarter than he. As they near
the office, the foreman stops the truck and asks the Newfie to step outside.
He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "See that tree over there. I want
you to mark an X on the front of that tree."
The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot! How does he know which is the front of
the tree?"
When the Newfie reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while looking at
the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk. He runs back
to the foreman and hands him the chalk.
"That is the front of the tree," the Newfie states.
The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in the world do you
know that's the front of the tree?"
The Newfie looks down at this feet, while moving the toe of his left boot
clockwise in the gravel, replies, "Cuz someone took a crap behind it."
He got the job...