A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
Banning the bra was a big flop.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
I fired my masseuse today. She rubbed me the wrong way.
I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
If electricity comes from electrons... does morality come from morons?
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it’s just kiln time.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Shotgun wedding - a case of wife or death.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
see also
Puns & Puntastic
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