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Humourous Puns
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
Banning the bra was a big flop.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
I fired my masseuse today. She rubbed me the wrong way.
I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
If electricity comes from electrons... does morality come from morons?
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it’s just kiln time.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Shotgun wedding - a case of wife or death.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Without geometry, life is pointless.




see also   Puns  &  Puntastic   Sections

Searching for two pots of gold
Double Rainbow
Upset about slow newspaper delivery?
Sunday Paper
Hitler at Family Game Night
Nahtzee
Little Johnny loved stare contests with the dog
I Can Still Kiss You
Adding special ingredients to the menu
Church Dinner
Doubles as a fishing boat with fins on the water
59 Chev Boat
Carrier pigeons that were faster than speeding bullets
Urgent World War I Message
Costa Concordia ship disguise to enter Canadian waters
An Iceberg Floated Into Town
The hazards of vertical electronic traffic lights
Walk Sign Timing
It's all in the hands...
Family Hands
Designer bed toppings for kids
Chocolate Bed
Walking into a feeding frenzy in the house
Crocodile Floor
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28-May-2012

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