Humourous Puns
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
Banning the bra was a big flop.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
I fired my masseuse today. She rubbed me the wrong way.
I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
If electricity comes from electrons... does morality come from morons?
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it’s just kiln time.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Shotgun wedding - a case of wife or death.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Without geometry, life is pointless.




see also   Puns  &  Puntastic   Sections
Animal Puns
Christmas Music Composer Puns
Christmas Puns
‘First’ Class Puns
Pun-Dumb-Oh-nium
Puns Intended
Tearable Puns

 

Coffee Thread

Environmental Protection on the High Seas

Mexico Gravestones

Happy Stormtrooper

Geek Piano

Shopping Cart Car

Ford Door Lock

Spanish Restrooms

Circle Of Fear

People Of The River

Jigsaw Sudoku Puzzles A

Texting In The Old Days

Lean Beer

Redneck Skiing

Wine Secret
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20-Oct-2017