joe-ks.com

I Am Canadian, eh!
So, what do Canadians have to be proud of?

1. Smarties

2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp

3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down

4. Baseball is Canadian

5. Lacrosse is Canadian

6. Hockey is Canadian

7. Basketball is Canadian

8. Apple pie is Canadian

9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers

10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin’ Donuts

11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back... past their “White House”. Then we burned it... and most of Washington, under the command of George Cockburn who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied... Go figure…

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.

13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone. Anywhere. EVER.

14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.

16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.

17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth’s surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.

20. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

21. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

22. A Canadian invented Superman.

23. We have coloured money.

24. Our beer advertisements kick.

BUT MOST IMPORTANT!

25. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!

26. And we don’t bomb our allies.

27. Oh yeah... our elections only take one day.


see also   Canada  Section

Searching for two pots of gold
Double Rainbow
Upset about slow newspaper delivery?
Sunday Paper
Hitler at Family Game Night
Nahtzee
Little Johnny loved stare contests with the dog
I Can Still Kiss You
Adding special ingredients to the menu
Church Dinner
Doubles as a fishing boat with fins on the water
59 Chev Boat
Carrier pigeons that were faster than speeding bullets
Urgent World War I Message
Costa Concordia ship disguise to enter Canadian waters
An Iceberg Floated Into Town
The hazards of vertical electronic traffic lights
Walk Sign Timing
It's all in the hands...
Family Hands
Designer bed toppings for kids
Chocolate Bed
Walking into a feeding frenzy in the house
Crocodile Floor
Looks like the neighborhood is safe
Texas 911
Digital sign spells end of analog pedestrian
Walk Sign Ending
91 year old grandpa mowing his ditch banks
Mower Handle Extender
Taking a bite out of a scary trip to the Dentist
Dentist Waiting Room
Nature complete with a clapper
Ice Bell
Submissions by Dave LoewenFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

28-May-2012

QR Code

G'Oldies

Spiderman's Car
Ukrainian Air Condition ...
Camel Pumps
Redneck Grills
Bench Fishermen
Weather Warning
Rastaurant
Redneck Anniversary Gif ...
World's First Hybrid Mo ...
Mine's Bigger
Cat Carrier - Ultimate ...
Redneck Skiing
Jet-Powered Barbecue
Redneck Pool Table
CradleHood
The Bicycle Tree of Vas ...
Mad Magazine Guy
Diet Spoon
Swingset Car
Redneck Bulldozer
Female IT Experts
Goldfish Sink
Locked Up Bull Elk
Memory Fish
God's Billboard
Calculator Flip Flops
Old Gas Station - the L ...
Helmet Full Of Hair
Columbia Street Party
Young Mechanic
Guitar Picking Kids
Wheel-y High Tricycle
Coach Inspiring Teamwor ...
Traffic Jam Intersectio ...
Abbey Road
Kid Cam
Snowgazers
Fishing Information
Bandage Art
Skateboard Suit
Responsible Hi-Tech Red ...
Shoe Stop
Moron Cliff Walkers
Polar Bear Attack - WAR ...
Flagstaff Snow Fall
Laundry Goat
Don't Be A Stick In The ...
How to Launch a PWC
Fish Hawg
Revenge of the Stallion
Beware of Atlanta Fount ...
Diehard Fans
Buffalo Saddle
Transmission Line Paral ...
Newfoundland Rocks
Redneck Birth Control
The Positive Side Of Li ...
Book Collector's Search ...
Cosmetic Surgery - Wife ...
When You Gotta Go
Carden Garden
Something Sounds Fishy
Redneck Politician
Donald Trump Eagle
Sheer Surprise