Ukrainian Perogies

When you can hardly wait for your next plate of perogies


An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. If not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favourite perogies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his Ukrainian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered man trembled on his way to the perogies at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

“Back off!” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”


QuotaBills
Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


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19-Nov-2017