An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. If not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favourite perogies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his Ukrainian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered man trembled on his way to the perogies at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.
“Back off!” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”
Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown
The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown
Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb
Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields
Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite
I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child
The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb
Spend your days pursuing the things you want said at your funeral. - Peter Legge
Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller
Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard
Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri
The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen
Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown
What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan
From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay
The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller
I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs
The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines
Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson
Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain
What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton
Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell
There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie
The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock
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