Ukrainian Perogies

When you can hardly wait for your next plate of perogies


An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. If not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favourite perogies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his Ukrainian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered man trembled on his way to the perogies at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

“Back off!” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”


QuotaBills
It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


see also   Food,  Marriage,  Religious  &  Tombstone  Sections
Ukrainian Christmas

 

Trout Lake (Easy Street) Hike, Half Moon Bay

Front Yard TV Dinner

Cheetah Surprise

Just Like Grandpa

Vegetarian Wall Mounts

The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Homesite Creek Falls Hike, Half Moon Bay

What Animals Dream Of

Downer Parking

Diaper Autograph

H1N1 Flu Mask

Chapman Creek Hike, Sechelt

Snow Music

Sudoku Sampler

Young Mechanic

Selma Park Hike, Sechelt

Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated

The Great Depression

Stop, You're Under A Rest!

Dog Digest
Submissions by Wayne NowazekFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

25-Mar-2017