Ukrainian Perogies

When you can hardly wait for your next plate of perogies


An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. If not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favourite perogies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his Ukrainian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered man trembled on his way to the perogies at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

“Back off!” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”


QuotaBills
Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Ya look like one of those pall buriers at a funeral. - Archie Bunker

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


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19-Sep-2017