Ukrainian Perogies

When you can hardly wait for your next plate of perogies


An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. If not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favourite perogies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his Ukrainian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered man trembled on his way to the perogies at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

“Back off!” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”


QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Ya look like one of those pall buriers at a funeral. - Archie Bunker

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Spend your days pursuing the things you want said at your funeral. - Peter Legge

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


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21-Jan-2019