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Raising The Bar
When a little pepper tequila goes a long way

A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be a thousand dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s with the jar?”
“Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money and the keys to a brand new Corvette Z06.”

The man certainly isn’t going to pass this up. “What are the three tests?”
“Pay first, those are the rules,” says the bartender.
So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

“OK,” the bartender says, “Here’s what you need to do: First - you have to drink that entire litre of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once ... and you can’t make a face while doing it.”

“Second, there’s a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.”

“Third - there’s a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never had an orgasm. You’ve gotta make things right for her.”

The man is stunned. “I know I paid my $10, but I’m not an idiot! I won’t do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things...”

“Your call,” says the bartender, “but your money stays where it is.”
As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks, “Where ez zat tequila?”

He grabs the litre with both hands and downs it with a big slurp.

Tears stream down both cheeks, but he doesn’t make a face. Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained up and soon the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside.

They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then... silence.

Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body.

“Now,” he says... “Where’s the old woman with the sore tooth?”


see also   Dog,  Stress  &  Tequila  Sections

 

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19-Mar-2019