![]() How to tell if an antique Antique Car has been on the Road too long Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen Faith is a fine invention When Gentlemen can see - But Microscopes are prudent In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright |
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