Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink



Canadian Math Problem

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the
product of the mass and velocity of an object.
In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)

QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr

Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

I grew up working in Canada so everything was low budget. - Ellen Page

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. - Arnold Edinborough

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it. - Brian Mulroney

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness. - Thomas Huxley

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. - Plato

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard


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