Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink



Canadian Math Problem

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the
product of the mass and velocity of an object.
In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)

QuotaBills
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I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

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By 1946, I knew Detroit was the best hockey city in the Original Six. - Ted Lindsay

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In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub? - Norton Juster

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

Physics is the only profession in which prophecy is not only accurate but routine. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

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I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

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Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Physics investigates the essential nature of the world, and biology describes a local bump. Human psychology describes a bump on the bump. - Willard Quine

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann


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20-Sep-2018