Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink

Canadian Math Problem

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the
product of the mass and velocity of an object.
In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)

In Canada, things are very honest. - Jim Pattison

Outdoor hockey is what it is all about. - Paul Coffey

Revolutions never occur in mathematics. - Michael Crowe

I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

In Canada, nobody is ever overthrown because nobody gives a damn. - Mordecai Richler

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

It would be better for the true physics if there were no mathematicians on earth. - Daniel Bernoulli

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

Physics is the only profession in which prophecy is not only accurate but routine. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Our team lives hockey, it dreams hockey, it eats hockey. Now if it could only play hockey. - Milton Berle

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles. - Mark Messier

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Relics: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. - Unknown

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When it began, cubism was a sort of analysis, which was no more painting than the description of physical phenomena was physics. - Juan Gris

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

No one undertakes research in physics with the intention of winning a prize. It is the joy of discovering something no one knew before. - Stephen Hawking

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

see also   Canada,  College,  Ice Hockey  &  Octopus  Sections
Canadian Growth Chart
Chocolate Math
Close Shave
Dancing Mathematician
eBay Bid
Ethiopian Math
Free Beer
Girlfriend Math
Hockey Players Are Mean
Hooking Penalty
Kwik-Mart Math
Making Hockey More Popular
Math in Africa
Math Mug
Math Zero Magic
Pregnant Ref
Redneck Math
Weapons of Math Instruction
Why the Blackhawks Sold Their Zamboni
Zamboni Date


Beef Teeth

Feel-Good Story of the Year

Korean Public Toilet


Dat Donuts

Texas Air Freshener

Well Heeled Shoe

The Circular File

Sudoku Sampler D

What Do You Think?

Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Tree Sorrow

Finger Lickin' Good!

Google Glasses

Ballroom Dancing for Seniors

Protest Signs Are Getting Better

Lard Family

Gator Baiter

Tooth Loss

The Floater
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious