Canadian Math

Disclaimer: hockey puck velocity may vary from rink to rink



Canadian Math Problem

In classical mechanics, linear momentum or translational momentum is the
product of the mass and velocity of an object.
In Canada, p=mv where p=puck, m=movement (as in towards an octopus), and v=velo city (in Newfoundland, eh)

QuotaBills
I was bitten by an octopus. - Ted Cruz

In Canada, things are very honest. - Jim Pattison

Canada and space are a natural fit. - Marc Garneau

I look at Canada like a second home. - Prince Andrew

Hockey is the original extreme sport. - Tom Ward

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Figure skaters have awful perceptions of hockey players. - Kristi Yamaguchi

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. - Arnold Edinborough

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

Perhaps the most surprising thing about mathematics is that it is so surprising. - E.C. Titchmarsh

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Our team lives hockey, it dreams hockey, it eats hockey. Now if it could only play hockey. - Milton Berle

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

Relics: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. - Unknown

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

The fundamental concept in social science is Power, in the same sense in which Energy is the fundamental concept in physics. - Bertrand Russell

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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19-Oct-2017