col-bears

Stephen Colbert pitches the “Late Show” on CBS





Welcome to Stephen Colbert who steps in as host, executive producer and writer of CBS’ “The Late Show” on September 8, 2015

QuotaBills
Reality is almost always wrong. - Gregory House

Reality is frequently inaccurate. - Douglas Adams

Reality continues to ruin my life. - Bill Watterson

Reality is something you rise above. - Liza Minnelli

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. - Jane Wagner

Fiction reveals the truth that reality obscures. - Jessamyn West

All our separate fictions add up to joint reality. - Stanislaw Lec

Always remember, your focus determines your reality. - George Lucas

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane. - Philip K. Dick

When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time. - Byron Katie

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. - Lily Tomlin

O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else? And shall I couple Hell? - William Shakespeare

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

The reality is you either step into the future, or you become a dinosaur. - M Shadows

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

When you expect good, it's available constantly, and it makes itself a reality in your life. - Alfre Woodard

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. - Dr. Seuss

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of the television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson

Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli

All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike - and yet it is the most precious thing we have. - Albert Einstein

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are. - Samuel Johnson

He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress. - Anwar Sadat

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or who says it. - Malcolm X


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22-Apr-2019