Christmas Joe-ks
joe-ks.com
Largest Source of Internet Humour!



Christmas: A warm, cheery two-month festival that celebrates the joy of retail merchandise.
Why were the stockings hung by the chimney with care?
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
What does the Christmas tree stand for?
What do you call a man who works in a perfume shop at Christmas?




Ever taken your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree?
You Might Be A Redneck If...
 Santa gives toys to bad boys
Prison Santa
 Home for the Holidays
Christmas House
 Practice waist and waste management this Holiday Season!
Tis the Season to be Wasteful
 Latest satellite tracking of Santa as he delivers presents around the world
Norad Santa Tracking on Christmas Eve
How Bubba gets his Christmas presents
Reindeer Sleigh
 Santa's favourite water sport after Christmas
Water Skiing Santa
 After Santa spent all his money on presents
Hitchhiker Santa
 What pets eat during the holidays
Hamster Christmas
 How Christmas Carols are sung in 2011
Carol Texting
For those who like looking backwards at Christmas
eerT samtsirhC
 How bright are politicians?
Political Christmas Lights
 Choosing a tree that won't scratch your car paint
Baby Christmas Tree
 Buying clothing that doesn't exist
Baby Santa Shirt
 Have you been naughty or nice this year?
Naughty For Santa
Froget me not this Holiday Season!
Hoppy Christmas
 Santa was blown in from Brownsville, down Mexico way
The Night Before Christmas In Texas
 How to cut back on Christmas spending
Recession Christmas Tree
 How Santa delivers presents to the Christmas Islands
Windsurfing Santa
 How Santa catches air on his snowboard
Snowboard Santa
Are your friends nutty or soaked in alcohol?
Fruitcake Friends
 Even Santa can't resist a Christmas shopping sale
Santa Marathon
 How to make your Christmas tree really glow
Christmas Light Cat
 Wishing Yule all have a very Merry Christmas!
Season's Greetings from the Joe-kster and Trudy
 For those who think it's better to give than receive
Christmas Shopping List
And they're not even under the mistletoe!
Gross Christmas Kiss
 Signs of recession at the North Pole
Sleigh Broke Down
 The great thing about Christmas is seeing the joy on children's faces!
Christmas Joy
 Christmas tree for an optometrist
Word Tree
 Suborbital space flights - now with stops in Alabama
Star Wars Trike
the Joe-kster on his 2011 Promo Tour @ Whistler, B.C.
Merry Christmas from joe-ks.com
 When your presence is the best Christmas present
Family Christmas Card
 Santa's underground home revealed
Where Santa Lives
 Santa's flying machine runs into an F105
Ultimate Christmas Yard Decoration
 Santa's new reality TV show: Dancing With Sharks
Underwater Santa
Recipe for a 100% Christmas
Christmas Clothing
 A Ukraine Christmas starts with all the toppings
Redneck Christmas Tree Transport
 Candy Cane Cat suffers through Christmas photo op
Santa Cat
 Thoughtful Christmas present from the nephew in South America
Christmas Dinner
 What happens when Santa's flight crosses a flight path
Santa Air
Bad timing for a road stop
Santa's Flat
 Handel's 'Hallelujah Chorus' - Handel'ed with care
Silent Monks Singing Hallelujah
 Holiday Season message for troops abroad
Troops' Blessing
 Spiritual version of the famous Christmas story
'Twas the Night Before Christmas
 Putting light into the holiday season
Holiday Bike
Giving employees lots of time “on” during the holidays
Holiday Hours
 Santa couldn't stop recurring dreams of his reindeer
After Christmas Therapy
 Merry Christmas from the Marzipan Singers
Frohe Weihnachten!
 Bubba heard about caring for his Christmas Tree
Christmas Tree Relief
 Perfect place to store Bubba's spare tire!
Christmas Tree Wheel
How to 'set' up your Kid's Christmas presents
Lego Ornament
 Dashing through the snow on a one-horse open scooter
Santa's Scooter Sleigh
 Hairstyle art for almost-bald men
Christmas Haircut
 Santa's other delivery - decorated for his big night
Santa's Rest Room
 Yule love this Ten-gallon Stetson driver
Texas Night Before Christmas
Choosing the best place for Christmas decorations
Door Wreath
 What do your parents look forward to at Christmas?
Christmas Wish For Seniors
 Pudding comes to a sticky end
Puddin' the Fun into Christmas
 Don’t forget to beat off the turner!
Tequila Christmas Cake
 How those eyes - bright as opals - twinkled!
Aussie Night Before Christmas
When da whole house was mella
Italian Night Before Christmas
 Frosty the Snowman's unique baby picture
Frosty Christmas
 Merry Christmas from Santa on his English run
Santa Bus
 Have a dog gone good Christmas!
Santa Pup
 How to get your entire family together for Christmas
Scottish Christmas
Where employees are encouraged to apply for a Christmas bonus
Christmas Bonus Program Survey
 What dog stars in the Christmas nativity scene?
Shepherd Nativity Scene
 Christmas card sceptics
Three Wise Men
 Little Johnny hunts for his Christmas gift list
Message To Santa
 Technology can get you in trouble
iGifts
Amazing Christmas light display in Lancaster County
Amish Christmas Lights
 Merry Christmas from the Joe-kster!
Joe-kster Santa 2009
 Yule never know who you meet under the mistletoe!
Under The Mistletoe
 What colour Christmas are you dreaming of?
White Christmas
 Making light of a bad situation
Christmas Bad Attitude
Do you smell something burning?
Santa Stop Lights
 Christmas delusions
Three Stages of Man
 Bubba’s double puts up the Christmas decorations
Redneck Christmas Lights
 Bubba brings deerlight to all boys and girls
Redneck Santa Float
 “Cello, Everybody!” from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Very Crispness!
Fireplace ready for Bubba’s holiday fires
Redneck Fireplace
 The only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club
Tiger Wood's 2009 Christmas Card
 Perfect fit for the Christmas tree this year!
Fits Perfectly
 Be sure to check for tonsisticity
Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies
 Lots of places to “hang out” on Bubba’s Christmas tree
Redneck Antler Tree
What snowmen do for entertainment
Snow Bowl
 Did I send them a Christmas card or not?
Christmas Card Flowchart
 Here’s a recipe I thought you would like for the holidays
Turkey Recipe
 The most energy efficient light bulbs? Someone else’s
Ditto Christmas Lights
 The nightmare before Christmas - HOHOHO!!!
Santaween
Time for re-gifting?
Unwanted Christmas Gifts
 Getting the low-down on Santa's daily duties
Christmas Thrones
 A Ladder Day Saint’s Christmas Tree
Designer Tree
 Why Santa sends cheep presents
Bird Stocking
 What recession? Bubba spends more on his deer friends!
Redneck Christmas Decorations
How to light up your motherboard
CPU Tree
 Bad news from up north...
Rudolph Trophy
 Santa prepares for Christmas Eve
Santa's Delivery
 How Santa works out after his long haul
Hot Job in the City
 Where do I start?
Zoo Christmas Tree
Hawg'n the road at Christmas
Christmas Bike
 Something that Santa can't deliver
Bring Me A Real Team, Santa
 Can you guess what Ben’s getting this Christmas?
BIG Christmas Stocking
 Watch out for Santa crossings
Crossing Santas
 Watered down version of Christmas
Diving Santas
Making do with homemade Christmas gifts
Tight Christmas
 Light-ing up the tree - 'hop' you can make it!
Light Christmas Tree
 Proof of Global Warming
Santa's Global Warming
 It took Bubba all weekend, but he finally got the tree up!
Redneck Christmas Tree
 Creating a sterile environment for your Christmas tree
Christmas Ball Tree
A quick way to put up the Christmas lights this year
Making Light of Christmas
 Give him a Christmas Tree for Christmas!
Handyman's Christmas Tree
 Playing the other 'Clair de Lune' piece?
Victor Borge Quotes
 We five cats of orient are...
Santa Cats
 Christmas Greetings from the Netherlands!
Holland Christmas
Going Hawg wild at Christmas
Biker Santa
 Merry Christmas from Santa's jet stream
Santa's Jet
 When A to B isn't the same as B to A
Going Nowhere in Ireland
 Polar Bear Christmas Song: Penguins roasting on an open fire
Polar Bear Party
 150,000,000 crabs on their Christmas crawl
Invasion of the Crabs
Early dreams of Santa - Santa's presence present
Christmas Baby
 All I want for Christmas is someone to play with, Mommy!
Baby Brother For Christmas
 Performed by Gayla Peevey (1953)
I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas
 Try not to become an eggnog-aholic this Christmas
Holiday Eating Tips
 Reality check for those who like snow
Diary of a Snow Shoveler
What Santa does on his Holiday
December 26th: Santa's Holiday
 Is baby Jesus missing from your manger scene this Christmas?
Baby Jesus - Pure Innocence
 Where even the mouse was hurting
Twas the Day After Christmas
 A Jingle Cats production 4U!
Jingle Cats' White Christmas
 Xylophone Ball Christmas
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
Santa calls on many hands to answer his fan e-mail
Santa's Email
 Santa's alternative reindeer sleigh in warm countries
Santa's Toy
 What Santa Gives Naughty Kids
Christmas Present for Naughty Kids
 Bring Christmas to your flying friends this Christmas
Christmas Birdhouse
 Purr-fect Christmas gift
Christmas Kittens
Why kids in New York will go without Christmas presents this year
Reindeer Strike
 Make your own Christmas Tree for great shavings!
Christmas Pencil Sharpener
 In some countries Santa has to use other animals than reindeer
Christmas Abroad
 Recipients of the 'Worst Christmas Present' Contest
What Women Won't Want for Christmas
 Call sign for Santa's final approach
Aviator's Night Before Christmas
Remembering the horrors of Black November
Ode To A Turkey
 Now Bubba can keep track of how many days ’til Christmas
Redneck Advent Calendar
 What happens when you make pet snowballs
Almost Perfect Snowball
 Newfie invents method to ventilate, warm-ate and levitate your pants
Newfie Light Fixture
 When Christmas Carols fall on deaf ears
Home For Blind Carol Singers
What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas
Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans
 When it's painful being on top of the Christmas Tree
Christmas Tree Top Pain
 Silent and deadly Redneck flatulence - all was calm but not for long
Redneck Christmas Carols
 Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!
Christmas On The Go
 Christmas Lawn Deer - a Hunter's special
Redneck Reindeer Decorations
Ever crossed a snowman with a vampire?
Vampire Snowman
 Practical Pranks for Santa
How To Confuse Santa Claus
 Need a cheap unassembled snowman?
Saskatchewan Entrepreneur
 Invite your whining, diverse group of employees to the company Christmas Party
Company Christmas Party - Whine and Dine
 Thoughts of roasting on an open fire
Holiday Songs for the Disturbed
How kids in Ohio get an early break for holidays
Early Christmas School Break
 Redneck Christmas crafts - gingerbread fer the whole family!
Redneck Gingerbread House
 Snowman survival technique
Hungry Snowman
 Tired of overpaid NHL coverage?
No NHL? Yule Have To Spend More Time With Your Wife
 Postal Workers bring Christmas cheer to a 93-year-old widow
Christmas Letter To God
Can you guess the titles of these fractured Christmas Carols?
Fractured Christmas Carols and Songs
 Political Correctness gone mad or just plain Dopey Idea?
Snow White meets the Aboriginal Equinox
 Cheapest form of transportation for your booty-full son
Send Your Son Home For The Holidays
 Nothing like a good ol' Back-to-the-basics Eggnog this Christmas
The History of Eggnog
 Count your blessings this Holiday Season
Merry Christmas To All Of You
German tradition of candles on the Christmas Tree
Candle-lit Christmas Tree
 Hat-a-boy!
Merry ChristMouse or Year of the Rabbit?
 Why leave mice on the floor - fling em' on your tree!
Mouse Christmas Ornament
 Beware the dangers of a hot hairblower
Snowman Holdup
 When your shrink doesn't even like you
Feel Like a Christmas Fruitcake?
Will this slow down his world delivery schedule?
Santa Slippage on Modern Roof
 Have you been a good boy this year?
Christmas Present Attachments
 Don't hire this organist to perform at your next Hallelujah Chorus performance!
Hallelujah Chorus: Wrong-Key Organist
 How to explain the Santa trophy to the kids
Santa Trophy - 'Tis Not The Season To Be Jolly
 Are you qualified to enter the Pearly Gates?
Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven
The ideal Christmas gift for your mother-in-law
Milton Berle Christmas Quotes
 Business Case for Corporate Christmas Funding
12 Days of Christmas - Cost of 'True Love'
 Bike solution antidote
Antidote For Santa's Milk
 Scooting around with angels
Santa's Motorcycle Delivery
 Memo from Santa re Santa’s 3rd Cousin
Bubba Claus - Union Replacement for Santa
A Redneck’s night before a non-denominational winter holiday
His Name Is Santa Claus, End Of Story!
 It's all about placement...
Lottery Winner's Christmas Present
 Finding a place for Dad at Christmas
What Dads Are For
 'Twas the Light Before Christmas
Christmas Laser Light Show
 Who wears the Christmas antlers?
Santa's Female Reindeer
The best consecutive Christmas gifts
Uncomfortable Christmas Gift
 Mixing Jingle Bells with a rebel yell
Leroy, The Redneck Reindeer
 Who needs Bud Light when you’ve got Canadian Heavy!
Canadian Christmas Tree
 A Newfie’s true Spirit of Christmas!
Newfie Christmas Tree
 The snowman's worst dream come true
Hydrant Dog: Rise and Fall of the Snowman
Newfies like presents that run backwards
Newfie DVD Rewinder
 Who picked up the pound note?
Clever Blonde on the Street Corner
 Animals who gnu best
Gnu Weather Forecasting
 Best wishes for a jargon-filled holiday season
Lawyer's Season's Greetings
 Very few things stop Santa's busy schedule
Santa's Rein-dear Stop
Another reason to celebrate Christmas
Roses Are Redish
 Cigars Are Not For Snowmen
Cigar Snowman
 Defying sacred myth
Santa Claus is a Woman?
 Wise men not firing on all cylinders
Redneck Nativity Scene
 Preparing for the once-a-year speech
Monk's Christmas Vow
Effective management of 'Present' disease
Doctor's Report on Present Deliverer's Syndrome
 Finding a place to stay in the Holy Land
No Room in the Sheraton Bethlehem Manger
 Preparing a Christmas Chopin Liszt
Christmas Music Composer Puns
 Would you lend a helping hand?
Christmas Plea For Help
 How students celebrate Christmas
Jewish Christmas Celebration
Is your reindeer job-compliant?
Santa's Job Evaluation Day
 Determining the most important role
Lead Role in the Christmas Play
 Santa's looking for a clean sweep this Christmas
Clean Chimney
 Catechism sung without persecution
Secret Behind the 'Twelve Days of Christmas'
 More rapid than X-lax his wooly sheep came
Redneck Night Before Christmas
Inspiration for the Holiday Season
Why Jesus Is Better Than Santa
 For all Redneck party animals
Redneck New Year's Resolutions
 WWTD (What Would They Do)
If Companies Ran Christmas
 Braving the elements in search for a perfect Christmas tree
Blonde Christmas Tree
 Some food doesn't go well with sleigh rides
Santa's Last Stop For Mexican Food
Looking for a big turkey?
Christmas Turkeys
 Happening on or about the night prior to Christmas
Legal Speak Night Before Christmas
 Announcing official visit by Gen. Santa Claus
Military Christmas Orders
 When Fannie May candles sneaked past my lips
Dieter's Night Before Christmas
 I was stuck at the office - the network was down
Networkologist's Night Before Christmas
Not a creature was stirring - Caramba! Que pasa?
Spanish Night Before Christmas
 Strange Christmas customs
Christmas is Weird
 When only the best will do for her
Wife's Christmas Present
 Yule learn something from around the world
Odd Christmas Traditions
 What makes a best-ever Christmas?
Best Christmas Gift
Santa's workforce the day after winning the lottery
If The Elves Win The Lottery
 Santa’s a wreck - how to live in a world that's politically correct
Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
 Think of Frosty the next time you need an ice cream
Frosty's Snow Cone Factory
 A legal view of Christmas
Santa's Lawsuit - Violation of Children's Rights
 Big thaw in turkey sales predicted for holiday season
Christmas Weather Forecast
Cold men with slush for brains
Hanging Around With A Cold Snowman
 What's your sign?
Signs of Christmas Everywhere
 Feeling good about not contributing to the energy crisis
Differences Between Christmas and Chanukah
 Romantic Christmas setting
Weeweechu Time
 Fixing a poor body image
Santa Goes On Atkins Diet
Choosing the right stamp of approval
New Christmas Stamps
 Where not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip
Star Trek 'Next Generation' Night Before Christmas
 Avoiding the stress of Christmas shopping
Christmas Hunting Tips for Men
 Where hackers were a-surfing
Twas the Internet Night Before Christmas
 A pun-e place for the Holidays
Christmas Puns
YO! Keep it down!
Bronx Night Before Christmas
 Not a creature was stirring - not even my spouse
Genealogist's Night Before Christmas
 Delivery of Christmas presents comes to a halt
Santa's On Strike This Year
 Preparing for the Christmas birth
Child's Nativity Scene
 Noise and kvetching - soch ah disgrace
Hanukkah Night Before Christmas
Ecstatic yuletide wishes to the planetary constituency
Scientist's Night Before Christmas
 The diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration,
Contract Spec Writer's Night Before Christmas
 Would you drink beer with a goat on a boat?
Slammed Grinch
 Streamlining the federal Christmas budget
12 Days of Christmas - Government Economizing Measures
 I know what you're getting for Christmas...
Star Wars Christmas
Paramedic incident report
Eggsellent Christmas Joe-k
 Give her something special this Christmas
Christmas Gifts For Women
 Have a cool yule, dude!
Biker's Night Before Christmas
 A geek can never get enough toys
Christmas Shopping For Geeks
 When not a homie was stirring
Ghetto Night Before Christmas
Yule like these joe-ks!
Kids Christmas Joe-ks
 Thoughtful daughter looking for meaningful gift
Santa's Present for Mom
 Biting delay holds up Santa's delivery
Ask Nicely
 Merging Christmas for Christians and Muslims
Christmukah - Major Holiday Merger
 Santa's rotating dilemma
Helicopter Pilot Can't Find Santa
Santa dressed in Regimental Fashion
Scottish Santa
 Mathematical proof of Non-Existence
Santa Claus or Santa Clause?
 Special Christmas postal delivery
12 Days of Christmas - Gifts By Mail
 Santa's real full time job
Santa Has College Roots?
 Putting spark into the holiday season
Electrician's Christmas Hymn
What Santa receives at Christmas
Christmas Letter From Mom To Santa
 I Want To Be Six Again
Official Resignation As An Adult
 How to catch snowflakes with your tongue
Tip for Catching Snowflakes
 Charged with early shopping
Early Christmas Shopping
 Pizza fit for a King
Christmas Pizza for King Wenceslas
When the Gentiles were home, hanging stocking with care
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
 Merry Christmas from the stable dogs
Fleas NaviDogs Wanna Wish You A Merry Christmas
 Looking for a special treat this Christmas?
Mistletoe Treat For The Dog
 Culkin Macaulay dreams of a visit from The Gloved One
Home Alone 2003
 Memorial service pending temperatures below zero
Snowman Funeral
Holiday parties gone to waist
A Month After Christmas
 Only the best for your sweetheart!
Give Her Crabs For Christmas
 What will children do without Santa?
Can't Be Santa, Can It?
 Preparing for a wonderful Christmas family visit
Christmas Guilt
 When nothing would fit me
Twas The Month After Christmas
Ever Loved The Taste Of Snowflakes?
Catching Snowflakes
 Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland
Walking In A Doggie Wonderland
 A Christmas dancing treat for you
Candy Canes
 Did anyone remember to water the tree?
Water For A Dry Christmas Tree
 Which one survived the perfect relationship?
The Perfect Couple
Your carrot or your life
Nose Job
 Personal security for Santa's big night
Santa Bodyguards
 If Santa answered his mail honestly...
Santa Mail
 Adding a special touch to the perfect Christmas photo
Wrapped Christmas Card
 Some houses are not meant to deliver presents to
Santa Visits The Schmitt House
How Rudolph inspired the first caveman
Primitive Christmas Carol
 Search for the missing elf
Missing Elf
 Christmas conduct during the Holiday Season
Office Holiday Memo
 Whisky food flavouring
Christmas Fruitcake Recipe
 Sending regards to whatever-her-name-is
Don't Think About Sending More Money, Son
Finding the perfect gift for her
Perfect Gift
 Origin of the Christmas tree angel
Angel On Top Of The Christmas Tree
 Could Santa be a she?
Female Santa
 Predictable Moscow weather
Red Christmas
 Santa takes a break AFTER he goes down the chimney
How To Tell If You've Been Really Bad
... and Erma's Reply
Martha Stewart's Christmas Letter To Erma Bombeck