Diet Joe-ks
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Tub: What you turn into after you get married and no longer feel the need to watch your weight.

Diet Soda: A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half-pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.
Magnetism: A powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music.
He once went on a diet. Three hundred farmers declared bankruptcy.
I didn't crawl my way to the top of the food chain just to eat leaves.
Overeating: An activity that will make you thick to your stomach.
Self-delusion: pulling in your stomach when you step on the scale.
Diet: A selection of foods for people who are thick and tired of it.
Hippochondriacs: People who worry a lot about their weight.
It's hard to be fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
There's only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Vegetarian: an old Indian word for “doesn't hunt well.”
Everything I do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Theory that chocolate slows down the aging process...
What do you call people who watch other people diet?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
He believes in a balanced diet: a beer in each hand.
Dieting: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
What problem do you get from eating too much?
Balanced Diet: What you eat at buffet suppers.
Glutton: One who digs his grave with his teeth.
What might you win if you lose 150 pounds?
He was so fat that he could only play seek.
What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
Dieting: The triumph of mind over platter.
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
What do you call an overweight vampire?
Diet Of Premature Babies Affects IQ
What is the healthiest kind of water?
Salad Dodger: An overweight person.
Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
How do you go on a Chinese diet?
What kind of people go on diets?
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Fat: Energy gone to waist.
Overweight: Just desserts.
Reducing: Wishful shrinking.

(click on the thumbnail images below to expand to full size)
David's Return To Italy


Childhood Obesity


Beltometer


Butt Lift


One Beer A Day


Eat Your Vegetables


Weight Watchers Bus


Bus Wait Weight


Leg Art


Benchquet


How To Serve Chicken Wings To A Man


'Beer On Tap' Bike


Gut Check


Diet Water


Gateway To Obesity


Fish Diet


Subway Dinner


Health Plug


Stuffed Bunny


McDonalds Reaches Africa


High Fiber Diet


How To Cut Down On Your Drinking


Wedding Pound Cake


New Wal-Mart Mirror


Best Diet Ever
Study & research proves that THIS is the Best Diet Ever!


Healthy Breakfast


Fat Friend Prayer


How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

2030 News Flash for the U.S.
5 Steps to a Healthy Diet
A Month After Christmas
A Woman's Prayer
Aerobics Class For Seniors
African Lunch
After-Gas Piggy Bank
Aging Without Exercise
Airbag Safety
Alcohol Research
Almond Treats For The Bus Driver
Anaconda Attack Manual - Be Prepared!
Answered Diet Prayer
Anti-Stress Diet For Women
Baby's First Exam
Bachelor Fridge
Beer Diet
'Beer On Tap' Bike
Before 12 Beers
Beltometer
Benchquet
Best Diet Ever
Bread Additive
Bubba's Staple Diet
'Bug Light' Invisible Monsters On Your Desk
Building Your Shoulder Muscles - Secret Weightlifting Program
Bumper Stickers
Burned To A Crisp? You Batard!
Bus Wait Weight
Butt Lift
Cake Diet
Cake Glue
Canadian North Cookbook
The Cannibal Test
Cannibalizing The Useful Staff
Celebrate Womanhood!
Childhood Obesity
Cowboy's Secret to Living a Long Life
Crack Spackle - The First Name in Butt Concealment  (2.4M)
David's Return To Italy
Diatribe Facts du Jour
Diet Doctor To The Rescue
Diet Water
Dieter's Night Before Christmas
Doctor'ed Birthday Cake
Duct Tape Diet
Eat Your Vegetables
Edinburgh Fringe Festival
English Diet
Ethel's Public Appearance: Kettle Calling The Pot Black?
Ever Notice...
Evolution Of Man
Exercise Logic
Fat Burger:  #1  #2  #3  #4
Fat Friend Prayer
Fat Twin Sisters:     #1  #2  #3  #4  #5  #6  #7  #8
Fish Diet
Five Stages of a Female's Life
Free Cable Causes Smoking, Drinking & Weight Gain
Future Calorie Testing by Optical Biosensor
Gateway To Obesity
Good Fishing - Innuit Eskimo's Rich Diet  (2.4M)
Gut Check
Hairball Essence or Hair Ingestion?
Happy Hour in Saskatchewan
Health Plug
Health Tips for Fat Friends
Healthy Breakfast
Heaven Can Weight
Heavy Training Session
High Fiber Diet
Hillbilly Overalls
Hot Dog Cooker
How Aging Affects Belt Height
How To Cut Down On Your Drinking
How To Serve Chicken Wings To A Man
How To Weigh Yourself Correctly
I Love New Recipes
If I Stop Chewing Myself ...
Important Health Information
Italian Pasta Diet
Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies
Leg Art
Letters From Camp
Light Eater - Secret to Success
Lineup For Dinner
Lose Weight by Horseback Riding
Lost Dog
Margarine vs. Butter
McDonalds Reaches Africa
Miracle Cosmetics Help Aging Process
Miss Chernobyl 2004
Monthly Man - Sharing PMS  (2.0M)
Nemo Found @ Japanese Sushi Bar
New Wal-Mart Mirror
New Year's Resolution: No More Regular Workouts
New Years Resolutions You Can Keep
Newfie Diet
No Additive Diet
Ode To The New Year
One Beer A Day
One Glass Per Day
Opinion Scale - Her Special Gift
Overweight Patient's Three-Quarter Prescription
The Perfect Weight
Pizza Order in 2010 - Soybean Yogurt Special
Pool Ball Diet - Doctor's Prescription
Prawn Crackers for Repeated Failure
Praying & Preying Mantis
Prunes & Holy Water
Purina Diet
Reasons to Stop Dieting
'Right Your Wrongs' Wash-Away Sins Towelette
Santa Goes On Atkins Diet
Shrinking Patient
Sneaky Dog  (1.0M)
Stuffed Bunny
Subway Dinner
Suntan For Weight Loss
Super Size Sundae
Swallowed Cockroach Goes Good With Fork Chaser
Take That - Personal Insults du Jour
Things Go Better With Worms
Thirst Quencher Fridge
Three Stages of Man
Time To Go On A Diet
Too Much Turkey
'Twas The Month After Christmas
Ukrainian Sausage
Ultimate Female Piercing
Veggie Tale
Very Fat Burger
Warning: 3-Bean Chili Lunch Special
Wedding Pound Cake
Weight Watchers Bus
When You Know It's Time To Lose Some Weight  (1.8M)
Why Married Men Gain Weight
Wife's New Coconut and Banana Diet
Wired For Coffee
"Wonder Where They Went" Bra
Words of Wisdom
Yo Mama
Ziploc Omelet


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