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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not professional anymore.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

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