Wilson Mizner Quotes from joe-ks.com
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To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady.

Some of the greatest love affairs I've known involved one actor, unassisted.

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

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