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joe-ks.com
Largest Source of Internet Humour!
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?
Is "tired old cliche" one?
Why does "monosyllable" have five syllables in it?
“When
the chips are down the buffalo is empty.”
Why is
'abbreviation' such a long word?
“If
in doubt, make it sound convincing.”
“Illiterate?
Write for help today!”
What's
another word for "Thesaurus"?
“English
well talking. Here speeching American.”
“Be
more or less specific.”
“Rehab
is for quitters!”
“I
write by ear. I tried writing with a typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy.”
“Do
you think I could buy back my introduction to you?”
“Be
careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
“Drawing
on my fine command of language, I said nothing.”
“Kindness
is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
“You'd
think all of these 'atypical' somethings would add up to a typical something."
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Exclamation Point: A period that has blown its top.
Bookworm:
A person who would rather read than eat, or a worm that would rather eat than
read.
Classic:
A book everyone wants to have read, but no one wants to read.
Lisp: Calling a spade a thpade.
Lymph: To walk with a lisp.
If you take the miser out of miserable you are “able”.
“Perhaps
I will,” said Tom with all his might.
“Whoever
said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic
weapons."
Polite conversation is rarely either.
When you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s hard to know when you’re
finished.
Word play is an art form. A pun is its own reword!
What's the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny?
How does a crow talk to a canary?
Silence: Having nothing to say and saying it.
Language: The blood of the soul into which thoughts run, and out of which they
grow.
What do you call someone who carries a dictionary in his jeans?
Lysdexia: A peech imspediment we live to learn with.
Prescribed: Written beforehand.
Prism: A place for light waves that commit minor refractions.
Punctuation: Comma sense.
True Adman: One who writes the prose and cons.
KIPPERS: Kids In Parents' Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings
Truculent: Borrowing a heavy goods vehicle
Poet: An individual so in love with language who can survive any hardship -
except a misprint.
Spellbinding: The cover of a dictionary.
What
language do chimpanzees speak?
(click on the thumbnail images below to
expand to full size)
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The Crocodiles Are Crying
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