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Marriage Joe-ks
joe-ks.com
Largest Source of Internet Humour!
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain & bought jewelry.
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
If
a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.
Apocalipstick: What your wife found on your shirt collar just before she kicked you out of the house.
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn.
Tub: What you turn into after you get married and no longer feel the need to watch your weight.
The gifts you buy your wife are never as apropos as the gifts your neighbour buys his wife.
Marriage: a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?
I never knew what happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
She
had been married so many times that she had rice marks on her face.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her - or something like that.
First of all you've got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her.
Siren: What a woman looks like before marriage and sounds like after.
Mr. and Mrs. Sleyman have lied most of their married life in Hartford.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.
Listless: What men become when their wives don't give them a list.
Why did Bubba & his girlfriend want to get married in the bathtub?
Behind every successful man is a woman... Behind her is his wife.
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you.
Did you hear about the two dirty bathtubs that got married?
My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met.
Nest
egg or goose egg - depends on the chick you marry...
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
My wife ran away with my best friend. I sure miss him.
Who leads the wedding party when two bakers marry?
What do you give a mare who's about to get married?
He
was so lazy that he married a pregnant woman.
All men are animals, some just make better pets.
Marriage
is the mourning after the knot before.
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
They were married and lived happily even after.
What do you call spiders that just got married?
What do sunglasses say when they marry?
Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both.
Where do vegetables go to get married?
Who married Mr. and Mrs. Green Giant?
Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence.
Driver carries no cash - he's married.
Marriage License: A noose paper.
How do you get a paper baby?
Love Letter: A noose paper.
(click on the thumbnail images below to expand to full size)
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Dear Crossing
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Delays
Devoted Husband

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The Good, Bad and Ugly
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Groucho Marx Quotes
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Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman
He Loves Me ... He Loves Me Not
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Lineup
Heart Attack
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Help Me Before It's Too Late
Henny Youngman Quotes
Henpecked Husband
Here's To Not Missing You
Hidden Remote
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Hillary's Baby
His and Her Garages
Historical Wife
Hold On Tight
“Hold These” Golf Clubs
Honesty As Best Policy
Honey, What's For Supper?
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I Need A Cold One Tonight ...
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I'm The Boss!
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Indian Wife
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Inspirational Quotes
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International Sign of Marriage
Interruptus Unexpectus
Irish Birth Control
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Is She - or the Car - For Sale?
Is That Your Final Answer?
It's OK To Come Out Now, Honey
It's The Thought That Counts
It Was That Close
Jethro's Almost Inheritance
Jewish Mother-In-Law
Joan Rivers Quotes
Joe's 'Dear Abby' Page
July 7, 2007: Special Wedding Date
Just A Weeeeeee Bit
Just In Time
Just Married Geek
Just One More Fart
Just One More Thing Before You Go...
Keep The Lid Down!
Kids Komments
Lack Of Interest
Ladies - You 'Can' Order Your Perfect Man!
Last Request
Late Advice
Laura Swenson Quotes
Laying Down the Ground Rules in the House
Lazy Spouses
Lemon Picker
Let My People Go - Debt Free
Life's A Test
Life's Little Secrets
Lights Out, Thomas
Living With A Blonde
Long Kiss
Long Lifer
Long Sermon? Blame the Wife's Dentures
Look After Your Wife
Looka But Don't Touch
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small

Lose Weight by Horseback Riding
Losing It On The Farm
Loss Of The Remote Control For Life?
Lot's Wife
Lottery Congratulations
Love And Marriage
Love Bike
Love Dress
Love Not Knot
Love Quotes
Love Stronger Than Who You Are
Love Thy Husband
Lucky Hat for Hunting Season - Deer Husband!
Mad Vow Disease in Ontario
Magazine For Men Who Can't Make Decisions:
#1 #2
Make A Wish
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The Male Dictionary
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#4 #5 #6
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Merit-Based Salary for Teachers
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The Middle Wife and Mom's Play-Center
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Mink Stole For Her Birthday
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Mother's Day Special
Moving For The Kids
My Valentine
My Wife Can Fix Anything
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Nag, Nag, Nag
Nagging Wife
Nasty Poison
National Husband Care Program (3.0M)
Never Argue With A Woman
Never Say Never
Never Try To Outsmart A Woman!
New Drugs For Men
New Drugs For Women
New Element in the Periodic Table: WOMEN
New Evening Classes For Men!
New Home, New Madam
New Seatbelt - Perfect For Backseat Drivers
New Swiss Bra
New Year's Recipe
New Year's Resolution: No More Regular Workouts
Newfie 'Pail and Saucer' Birth Control
Newfie Painter
Newfie
Wrong-Term Insurance
Newfie's "Drop Dead" Poker Game
Newfie Riding Lawn Mower
Newleywed Sock Swallower
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No Fee Chinese Detective
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No Luck With Women
No Mattah
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No Reason Flowers
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Norvegian Groaners
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Nothing But The Truth
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Old Folks' Perks
Olive Her
Olympic-Style Passion
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Only 24 Hours To Live
Only in Las Vegas: Quickie Drive Thru Weddings!
Opinion Scale - Her Special Gift
Out Of Ammo
Out Of Estrogen - Make My Day
Ozonol
Pa Loves Women
Parent's Wisdom
Pastor's New Teeth
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The Perfect Couple
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Perfect Husband
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The Perfect Man
Perfect Super Bowl Seat
The Perfect Wife (1.3M)
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Phyllis Diller Quotes
Physical Fitness
PMS
PMS Guide for Male Attraction
Pocket Book
Poison Control
Politically Correct Talk
Practice Makes Perfect
Prayer Request for Bob

Preacher's Expanding Salary
Present Grief
Price Of A Wife
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Prince Charles - Marriage Warning
Priorities
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'No Time For Anesthetic' Golfer
Quick Wedding (1.5M)
Rabbi's Advice on Wife's Poison
Razor Blade Swallower
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Rectum? Damn Near Killed Him!
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Repeat
Performance
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Rodney Dangerfield Joe-ks
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Sex Marriage to the Joe-kster
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Secret To Making A Marriage Last
Secretary Not
The Secrets of Life
Selective Hearing Aid For Men
Senior Bumper Stickers
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Sentenced to Hard Labour
Senior Pleasures
Sharing Everything
She Wants Him Gone:
#1 #2 #3 #4
#5
#6
#7
She's A Gone-Her
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Should They Allow Same-Sex Marriage?
Sick Tombstone
Silence Is Golden
Silent Church Service
Skin Graft
Sleep Better - Use Birth Control Pills
Smart Men
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Something Irresistible To Women
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Soon-To-Be Ex-Wife
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Soured Love
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Special Napkins
Spend Quality Time With Your Loved One
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Mates
Start Writing Notes
Stay At Home Husband
Story of 20 Toes in 20 Minutes
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Struggling Wife
Sunday Drive in the Country - The
Good Old Days
Super Bowl Tickets

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Sweet & Sour for the Sick Husband
Take That - Personal Insults du Jour
Take Your Wife Somewhere Expensive
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Talk To Me
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Texas Divorce
That's Your Father
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Tiger Wood's 2009 Christmas Card
Time To Pull The Plug?
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Touche
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Train-ed Couples
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Treasure Every Moment
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True Love
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Vaseline
Vat Drowning
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Waiting For The Perfect Man: #1 #2
Walking Stick
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Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
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Where White Man Went Wrong

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Women the
Weaker Sex? Bite Me...
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Wooden Wife
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World Cup 'Final'ist
World's First Remote Control
World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Worried Mother
Worst Day Of My Life
Wrap Around Towel
X-Ray Wedding
Years of Bad Gas
Your Mother
Your Parrot Is Dead, Senor!
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