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joe-ks.com

Image Caption Submissions: #151-200
Mini-View of all  Image Captions


Image Caption Submissions  for Images #1 to 50
Image Caption Submissions  for Images #51 to 100
Image Caption Submissions  for Images #101 to 150
Image Caption Submissions  for Images #201 to 250
Image Caption Submissions  for Images #251 to 300
Image Caption Submissions  for Images #300 to ...



Image Caption Contest #1 Winners for Image Captions #s 1 - 100 (Closed)
Image Caption Contest #2 Winners
for Image Captions #s 101 - 203 (Closed)

 

151. "Kid Kars"
A. Irvin Kauffman:
"Pole Position in the 'Rat Race'"
B. Mark Prairie:
"This would be FUN, if I could get this thing to go FORWARD!'"
C. Doug Brown:
"A New Age Harry Potter"
D. Idske Mulder:
"Boat-orized Blades"
E. Rich Grogan:
"Stop sign? Stop sign! BRAKES!!!", "Where is the stop button?" & "I may regret not getting knee pads."
F. Kirk Lowry:
"Brakes... next time... add... BRAKES!!!"
G. Martin Bridgland:
"It's my nimbus 2007"
H. Della Norton:
"Please.. .Please... Please... Don't let that be a pothole up ahead...", "Steering wheel is optional." & "I hope this thing runs out of gas soon. My hands are getting cramped.'"

152. "The Joe-kster's Dentist"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"As if a trip to you guys wasn't bad enough."
B. Cherei McCarter:
"Redneck Dentist and a woman too? Holy toledo, Batman... I need the batmobile right away... YIPES!"
C. Idske Mulder:
"Never down in the mouth with Dental Clown Care!"
D. Rick Miksell:
"This is what your mouth will look like when I get done."
E. Mark Prairie:
"Too much gas can make you Goofy!"
F. Maureen Kennerk:
"At least she's not wearing MASK SCARE-A."
G. Irvin Kauffman:
"Two Chiclets to soothe that dry, raw mouth!"
H. Claire Shriver:
"Do you actually think I'm going to open my mouth now?"

153. "Watermelon Bocce"
A. Karen Moore:
"7-pin bowling in the Urals - Unbowlievable!"
B. Maureen Kennerk:
"It's ALLEYmentary my dear Watson! - Alimentary!"
C. Mark Prairie:
"Unclear on the concept of bowling, the Villagers wait patiently for the next earthquake."
D. Idske Mulder:
"Paintbowling, the latest sport: a combination of Paintball and Bowling, now 'bowling' over from the highest regions!"
E.
Barry K, The Big Kahuna:
"I hope it doesn't 'download' in the middle of an 'upload'... if the batteries go dead?"

154. "Redneck Barbecue"
A. Phoebe Moll:
"Stainless steel barbecue doubles as a spittoon!"
B. Martin Grosse:
"Bubba's new High-Pot cooking stove."
C. Irvin Kauffman:
"Mountain Oysters, Anyone?"
D. Kirk Lowry:
"Why yes, I only use organic materials to cook with!", "Man, this tastes like crap." & "Methane-power comes to your town! See store for details."
E. Ivan Cobb:
"Jeez Ma, I don't know what yer cookin', but it smell's like crap!"
F. Mark Prairie:
"When coals are ready, place pork butt on grill.", "Cold Weather Commode" & "Smokey the Bear says, 'Only YOU can prevent toilet fires. Close the lid!'"
G. Idske Mulder:
"Say hon', how many carbon tablets did you take yesterday for your B.M.?"
H. Mrs Brown:
"If the chilli didn't kill you, the after burn will!"
I.
Barry K, The Big Kahuna:
"Before we start...?! DON'T 'ANYONE' EVEN THINK ABOUT PUSHING THAT SMALL SILVER LEVER ON THE SIDE! We got that?", "Well would you lookie there - A 'CANNED' BBQ!", "Time to eat, let us pray, 'Hail Mary, full of grace... grab your fork and stuff your face.'", "When everyone saw his new BBQ, they all looked a little... 'FLUSHED'...", " & "Um-m-m... excuse me? I'd like to ask a little question? I have to go to the bathroom now...!?"
J. Keith Tyson:
"Hot cross buns"
K. James Santos:
"Grate Crapper!"
L. Della Norton:
"Does it comes with a 'flush the fat' system?" & "You too can own your own handy dandy newest porcelin Geoge Foreman Grill."
M. Scott Kovalik:
"Dude... Your Burgers taste like Crap!"
N. Kyle Ziegler:
"Introducing the FART n’ Start Grill!"
O. John Wildermuth: Fish fry tonight. We're having crappie.

155. "Wrap Around Text"
A. Mark Prairie:
"It's just the paperboy honey. I'll take care of it!"
B. Kirk Lowry:
"Taking a love for reading to new levels.", "Levar Burton and the shocking 'Reading Rainbow' scandal...", "Love a good book?" & "Penthouse Letters will never be the same again!"
C. Irvin Kauffman:
"Words fail me..." & "It'll never sell, the writing is too personal!"
D. Kathy Williams:
"Just reach out and touch someone... with a heartfelt letter."
E. Rhiannyn Grahame:
"Let the words surround and captivate you." & "Embrace the story to become part of it."
F. Andrea Sif Jónsdóttir:
"A student who embraces the written word." & "His words just reached out and grabbed me."
G. Idske Mulder:
"Since she fell in love, she's all wrapped up in writing." & "Can't get a word in edgewise..."
H. Mike Trimble:
"It must be Love - it's written all over your face!"
Caption Winner!    I. Mrs Brown: "Hmmmm! NOW for spell check...", "Mr Write", "What a novel relationship they have!" & "A picture is worth one thousand words."
J. Samantha Moore:
"I Love Reading; Reading Loves Me."
K. MG Chimaera:
"Sometimes Words Are Not Enough"
L.
Barry K, The Big Kahuna:
"This isn't what they call... 'POETIC LICENCE", is it?" & "I'm touched... Truly touched. I, I have no words to express... But, there's just far too many spelling errors here... the relationship just won't last!"
M. Clark Gibson:
"Embracing words"
N. Bill Mielniczuk:
"A writer totally “wrapped up” in her work!"
O. Rick Brennecke:
"You must be a hard copy."
P. Danica Skirly:
"Everyone has a story to tell." Satellite Dish, this is getting ridiculous."
Q. Vincent Edwards:
"Letters: For Lover's Who Can't Afford a Cell Phone or DSL Hook Up"
R. Mike Rothwell:
"And one more thing my love... If I die in this stupid war, please give the enclosed letter to our daughter when she turns 18. Love, me."
S. Dave Westwood:
"Love Story..."
T. Della Norton:
"Who said poetry can't reach out and touch someone?" & "It was the love of reading rainbow that got her started." & "See I told you that when you look closer the 3D image appears. So real you can reach out and touch it..."
U. Pat Dooley:
"Like poetry and a novel, thousands of words can be spoken, but sometimes, all we really need, is a hug..."
V. Tim Paul:
"I care about the living word."
W. Graydon Pieterse:
"Find comfort in a book."
X. Mary Didla: Imagination can be real

156. "Hang On To That Thought"
A. Karen Moore:
"This house is a mirror image of what it used to be."
B. Matt Sullivan:
"Darn Windows 'Vista' Upgrade!!!"
C. Kirk Lowry:
"Yeah, I'm gettin' the hang of it.", "Relocating made easy! Call now, and you'll also receive..." & "Yeah, the neighborhood was going to hell in a handbasket, but then I figured out how to turn that all around!"
D. Idske Mulder:
"Don't forget this is really a flat when you step outside!"
E. Mrs Brown:
"'Meow?' translation: 'OK! Where IS that breeze coming from then?'", "'Meow! Meeeeooow!' translation: 'Great! More access to the great outdoors to go potty!'", "Snow in the middle of Summer? Ozone friendly air conditioning." & "What did we move for? It sure wasn't for the view, THAT'S just the same!"
F.
Barry K, The Big Kahuna:
"I keep tellin' ya people, it's an 'INSIDE JOB'! No, i'ts an 'Outside-In' job. No, it's ALL Inside-Out!", "Hm-m-m ? What would happen if I put them in the floor... or the ceiling?", "Oh-h oh-h-h....the neighbors Pit Bull can see Tinker, it's running over!", "Honey, come help. Which goes where? And where's the flippin' instructions?", "Oh my! Another 'Room With a View'." & "Bob, this is freakin' me out! I still can't find 'THE FRIGGIN DOOR'!"
G. Clark Gibson:
"Just Hanging Out"
H. Mark Prairie:
"These "preview" windows are a real pane in the glass!'"
I. Irvin Kauffman:
"Okay, OK... put the freeze-dried cat where?"
J. Rick Brennecke:
"Where should I put this window, so the cat can't look out it?"
K. James Santos:
"Inspiration: The cat's named Microsoft..."
L. Della Norton:
"No... No... No... Master, please put that on the south wall." & "I'm begging you - don't put it there..."

157. "Childhood Romance"
A. Darrel Riffle:
"That kid's just gross! He blew his nose on me the other day too!"
B. Mark Prairie:
"Later, Little Bill would learn to play the saxophone and eventually become President."
C. Idske Mulder:
"So what, I'm laughing on the wrong side of my mouth!" & "He's kissing on the wrong side of his head!"
D. Irvin Kauffman:
"Where's MY stamp?" & "Cut, CUT, the kid's holding hands with herself!"
E. David Duncan:
"I can feel something happening... Yes! You're sucking my teeth out too!"
F. Rick Brennecke:
"You're not kissing me anymore lover, you have boy germs!"
G. Paul Bottel:
"Darn that Betty Sue. She didn't care about Billy at all until I told her I liked him. Now, look at her, the little fluzzie."
H. Della Norton:
"Wait till I tell my Mommy on you." & "Ohhhh... You wait till you are alone by the swings."

158. "Invisible Motorcycle Race"
A. Irvin Kauffman:
"Zen - and the Art of Air Hockey"
B. Kirk Lowry:
"Note to self: tell mess-hall, no more Mexican food.", "As soon as Democrats get out of Congress, we expect to get our motorcycles!" & "So, what would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?"
C. Idske Mulder:
"The real airborne troops."
D. Patrick Koch:
"Flying monkey first airborne preparing for take off."
E. Jack Porcenaluk:
"And when you get up there, switch to the 'V' formation."
F. Mark Prairie:
"Chinese troops practice for 100 meter simultaneous jump-rope competition."
G. Candace Tori:
"Featuring our new 'Mind Over Matter' Matrix school."
Caption Winner!    H. Floyd Barker: "The new Chinese Stealth Troop Transport had only one bug left in it." & "Now here's discipline, I said 'squad halt' half an hour ago."
I. Heath Young:
"These are the new workout routines for the military after watching all the Harry Potter movies."
J. Della Norton:
"Gentleman... Start your engines...", "I didn't see this one coming... Neither did anyone else...", "The saying is 'white men can't jump'. Nothing was said about the Chinese...", "When I say jump, you don't ask how high. Just jump." & "Auditions for the flying monkeys in the Wizard Of Oz."
K. René:
"See, white men can't jump..."
L. Tim Paul:
"No, I will not sit on the toilet seat..."
M. Howard Chapman:
"Chinese land mine locator unit in action."
N. Joseph Mills: What we all will be driving if Obama is Re-Elected.

159. "Sandal Sale"
A. Phil Forde:
"Leather sale. See what you can do with just a little bit of ingenuity. The other one reads Ends."
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"Latest mini-skirt accessory for hard times!"
C. Kirk Lowry:
"Truth in advertising, 101", "Behold! The power of Photoshop, unveiled!" & "Yeah, I know... she's cheap."
D. Sybil Williams:
"Sale 4 the footloose and fancy Free"
E. Mark Prairie:
"Foot fetish sale - buy one foot, get one free!"
F. Idske Mulder:
"Now you believe he always nickels and dimes me?"
G. Chris Martin:
"Damn those illiterate suppliers! I ordered leather-sole sandals..."
H. James Santos:
"Left Says... FOR"

160. "UPS Fishing Boat"
A. Irvin Kauffman:
"Enough 'Horse' power to have a 'Crack' at all your needs!"
B. Mark Prairie:
"Worst case of drug induced compulsive outboard redundancy I've ever seen, Captain! This puts an end to "Eddie's Ride n' Snort" Channel Tours." & "Not guaranteed for Canadian hidden-just-under-the-water-giant-boulder-in-the-middle-of-the-lakes."
C. Idske Mulder:
"When the coast guard arrived they took powder!"
D. Mrs Brown:
"An engine for every occasion.", "S.S. Gas Guzzler" & "You think that's powerfull? You should see the other half of the boat!"
E. Phil Forde:
"I'm so sick of those herrings getting away from me. Well let them try now."
F. Pat Kelly:
"FOR SALE: Ski boat. Previously used by a church group for Sunday outings. Never run hard, but does show some potential for the more sporty slalom enthusiast. Large supply of cotter pins included."
G. Carolyn Baye:
"Yo-mama power!"
H. James Santos:
"Engine Envy?"
I. Frederick Cordova:
"Get-A-Grip & Pray Tours!"
J. Scott Kovalik:
"Hang on to your AAAAaaaaaaa!"
K. Clem Reid:
"So THAT’s what’s driving up the price of gas worldwide.", "Designed by OPEC’s crack team of naval engineers.", "Dial-a-Bottle, St. Pierre to Fortune, call: (###)…", "Canada Customs officials observed this cigarette boat...", "… confiscated by officials. Owner charged with smuggling outboard motors…", "Hello. Lloyd’s of London? How much to insure this boat and cargo? Yes. The crew is a crack team.", "Dat’s ’de definition of a Euro-Redneck right ’der." & "Just a wee bit wider than Panamax…"

161. "Swimming Pool For Sale - House Not Included"
A. Jutta Liesenfeld:
"New earthquake-proof hot tub design with high-rise view..."
B. Karen Moore:
"Your dream pool is only a step away!"
C. Idske Mulder:
"Mom, the girl next door invited me over for a swim. Can you help me reach the doorbell please?"
D. Mark Prairie:
"The search is ongoing for contestants and spectators of the ill fated 'Portly Guys Cannonball Dive Competition'." & "Clean Fill Wanted, see building manager."
E. Dawn Grounds:
"Great! Now I have to go to the bathroom..."
F. Sue Gosselin:
"This would be our above-ground model."
G. Della Norton:
"Yes sir, the orders are pouring in for our long lasting pools." & "Yeah, just jump from the balcony to the wooden platform and dive right in..."
H. Joseph Mills: The new Spring Break In Panama Beach, Florida.

162. "Giant Slingshot"
A. Irvin Kauffman:
"Plan Your Trips with ORBITZ. Save on Flights, Hotels, Cars & Cruises!"
B. Phil Forde:
"Want to beat the rush hour traffic? Try our new improved SLING SEAT guaranteed to get there faster. No money back guarantee!" & "I told you I could beat you to McDonalds."
C. Mrs Brown:
"It's like being shot out of a slingshot... It's not the flight that kills, it's the sudden stop on landing!", "(Note Flag in Background?) Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.....Oi, Oi, Oooooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaagghhhhh!" & "The new transport alternative from Australia to New Zealand! ...Hold on tight! ...NO! WAIT! DON'T!"
D. Darrel Riffle:
"Just because I look like Mel Gibson is no reason to..."
E. Brendan Groeneveld:
"Ok, checklist: *Insurance... Check. *Safety net... Check. *Cellphone... Check. *my final will, written and filed... Check. *Helmet... uhm... oh boy..." & "Save our planet! FLY FREE-WILLY STYLE!"
F. Idske Mulder:
"Well, they said it was a sitting job with good perspectives..."
G. Mark Prairie:
"After being assured that he would not hit the building again, Bruce agreed to give it another "shot", all the while hoping he would recover from his lack of dimension." & "Killing two birds with one Bruce."
H. James Santos:
"My Other Car Is A Catapult."
I. Eric J. Paquin:
"Worried about terrorists? Fly with us!"
J. Della Norton:
"The Jolly Green Giant's new toy. Oh Boy! Oh Boy! Oh Boy!... The target a can of Corn." & "Trying to get to heaven on the seat of my pants."

163. "Perfect Fit Bed"
A. Irvin Kauffman:
"FULLY REVERSIBLE: A) remove mattress, set aside; B) remove headbolts, (the bed's); C) remove..."
B. Mark Prairie:
"How to catch a Z..."
C. Idske Mulder:
"The true origin of the expression 'falling asleep'." & "For sale: Designer Bed, hardly ever used, previous owner prefers sleeping on her right side."
D. Rhiannyn Grahame:
"Sleep like a baby, or you'll fall out of bed."
Caption Winner!    E. April Dunaway: "Olympic speed skaters train even in their sleep."
F. Sue Gosselin:
"Before becoming a mattress maker, Bob worked in the homicide unit as the chalk outline artist."
G. Della Norton:
"I knew they would take that chalk drawing too far one day.", "A bed for the mermaid in your life." & "One size fits all..."

164. "Chocolate Easter Eggs"
A. Phil Forde:
"Talk about sitting on it until Easter?" & "This is where MILK CHOCOLATE comes from - your guess is where the dark chocolate comes from."
B. Idske Mulder:
"A cow may catch a hare, But the hare didn't think that was funny; Thus the cow started to prepare A way to catch the Easter Bunny..." & "Happy Beaster"
C. Mark Prairie:
"Cluck-cluck-cluck-Moo... Hey!... IF you don't MIND... A little PRIVACY Please!", "I sure wish Henrietta would get back soon... I think I'm gonna sneeze!" & "Due to cross contamination, the cloning experiment was only moderately successful."
D. Rysa Austin:
"OOOpps sorry - did I do That?"
E. April Dunaway:
"Got... eggs?!?"
F. Tom DeLaMater:
"If I can turn grass into milk, why are you surprised about this?"
G. James Santos:
"Eat more chicken, Eat more chicken..."
H. Sue Gosselin:
"I'll have the steak and eggs!"
I. Della Norton:
"Yeah, you think this was so easy? You give it a try!" & "You said you wanted fresh scrambled eggs. Well here you go - milk and eggs."
J. Ralph Hammerl: Cow eggs? What's next, chicken milk?

165. "iFrame"
A. Mark Prairie:
"I wuz framed!" & "Last time I tried this, I fell off the shelf and broke my nose!"
B. Idske Mulder:
"Trying to think outside the box!"
C. Kirk Lowry:
"Dang....what was in that drink, anyway?", "Oooooooooooooooooooooooh, crap...", "Okay, guys... not funny anymore! Guys... guys?" & "Rod Serling... the college years."
D. Andy Munday:
"It would of been easier to come out of the closet."
E. Irvin Kauffman:
"It's OK... nobody's here!"
F. Rick Brennecke:
"I've been framed, let me out."
G. Doug L. Brown:
"I know how the hell I got in here, but how the hell do I get out?"
H. Matt Paden:
"She shot me and put me in this tiny frame, but then she put me in the bathroom and took a shower..."
I. Les (The Redneck Parachute Guy):
"That Camera Captures EVERYTHING!"

166. "Math Clock"
A. Karen Moore:
"Every second counts!"
B. Steve Ingram:
"Who says you can't put a square idea in a round hole?"
C. Kirk Lowry:
"Okay, now my head hurts...", "Sick... pure and simple.", "How to tell its time to find a new job..." & "'Cruel and Unusual' defined"
D. Idske Mulder:
"Just found out why Aunt Marge is dressed to the nines every hour of the day..." & "The program starts at nine o'clock, but... when is that?"
E. Ron Hudson:
"The definition of way too much time..."
F. Michael Hack:
"It could take most of math class just trying to figure out when its finished."
G. Margareth Warburton: So wrong, and yet so right!

167. "Golfer's Breakfast"
A. Mark Prairie:
"It's a Cinderella story... 300 yards from the kitchen table to the pin... not a peep from the gallery...", "Those dang golf course weasels been raiden the hen house agin, Maw!" & "Confucius say, 'Man who hurry breakfast, is teed off with egg on face.'"
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"Every Drive a Hole-in-One with 'SecureBalls™' (papier mache or plastique?)"
C. Kirk Lowry:
"...until one day, Tiger simply snapped." & "How Arnold Palmer starts his day."
D. Idske Mulder:
"What did you have for breakfast? An Easter egg - off course!"

168. "Blue Angels Trainees"
A. Phil Forde:
"Angel #1 to Angel #2. I hope you've packed your parachute." & "I told you not to laugh at the instructor!"
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"Ferry Lands Escaping Air Farce" & "Yes... I found another quarter... I'm Flying!!!"
C. Carol Thornton:
"I knew the price of fuel would get to us eventually..."
D. Mark Prairie:
"Victor Foxtrot Zero Zero Two, This is the tower... There will be no SKIPPING on the runway! Don't ask, don't tell!"
E. Idske Mulder:
"Can't hang up my handbag on the control panel. Can't hang up my handbag on the control panel. Can't hang up my... So, what's your line? And how many rounds do you have to go?"
F. Ian Howard:
"More military cutbacks?"
G. Matt Paden:
"The new F-23 prototype is flawless but for a slight setback in mobility... Engineers decided to sacrifice flight ability for better turning."
H. Jerry Costello:
"It requires a whole new strategy to take on the Al-Qaida Air Force."
I. Jay Canfield:
"Never lose sight of the 'REAL' customer - our products are important."
J. Sue Gosselin:
"Congress approves funding for the Flinstone-22 combat jet."
K. Joseph Mills: The New Drone, W/O the Plane.

169. "IRS Toothpaste"
A. Karen Moore:
"If only there were snakes like this in Scotland..."
B. Kirk Lowry:
"Colgate salutes Steve Irwin... we'll miss you.", "Yeah? Well, wait'll you see my loufa!" & "Main squeeze"
C. Idske Mulder:
"Redneck biology lesson #1: 'How to find the right snake, not the kind that spits poison on your toothbrush.'"
D. Tom DeLaMater:
"Eve, are you sure this is such a good idea too?"
E. Mark Prairie:
"Fred could not understand why his 'Last Drop Toothpaste Dispenser' was not accepted by the Dental Association." & "Earl had no trouble brushing Mr. Snakey's fangs, however, shaving him would prove to be more difficult."
F. Marvin Purser:
"There isn't any udder way."
G. Sue Gosselin:
"Betty had warned Bob about forgetting to put the cap back on."
H. Della Norton:
"Now given out at schools around the country - new toothbrushes with holders.", "4 out of 5 Dentist recommend the snake tube squeezer as part of daily brushing." & "No more rolling the tube to get the last of the toothpaste."

170. "Circular Motorcycle"
A. Irvin Kauffman:
"We're developing a Spare Tire!"
B. Mark Prairie:
"After finally running out of gas, Charley found himself in the year 1954, at a drive-in movie, somewhere in Milwaukee Wisconsin." & "An overwhelming desire to prove the physical laws of progression for a rotating mass, and a penchant for self-abuse."
Caption Winner!    C. Mike Trimble: "'Harley Riders' can't even handle a 2-wheeler!" & "Blessed are they who travel in circles, for they shall be called 'wheels'."
D. Idske Mulder:
"This pic was taken BEFORE he rode through what those horses left behind on the road. He doesn't know what's 'hanging over his head' yet..."
E. Ron Morton:
"Necessity is the mother of invention... someone want to invent a kickstand for me?" & "Fuel economy? I get about 45 RPG (Revolutions Per Gallon). By the way, does somebody else want to invent a gas tank for this thing?"
F. Andrew Edel:
"With 300Hbp, WHO said Unicycles are only for Wimps?!"
G. Sue Gosselin:
"The wheel on the hog goes round and round, round and round, round and round..."
H. Della Norton:
"I only have one blind spot.", "Just think - I will never have any bumper damage - I will just bounce right back." & "I hope I am not doing 80MPH when I get a flat!"

171. "Health Plug"
A. Karen Moore:
"I can't weight to buy this gizmo!"
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"Pop's Top Pops As His Weight Ends!"
C. Idske Mulder:
"I've got a very up-to-date husband: He's self-inflatable!"
D. Johnny and Joe Gorilla:
"Get Pumped Up"
E. Lynne Wetherell:
"Perfect for politicians - Drains off all that HOT AIR they are so full of!"
F. Mark Prairie:
"Bob (Bobber) Robert's threat to 'Blow Himself Up' was overheard by US Homeland Security agents, and Bob was detained at the border until the agents where satisfied that Bob could not reach the inflation valve with his own mouth."
G. Andrew Edel:
"Lose weight the Old-Fashioned way at Power House Health Club: No Cheap Fads, Gimmicks or Tricks!"
H. Marvin Purser:
"Calcified Aorta Protector"
I. Joseph Howard:
"Health Club fees swell - inflation to blame."
J. Ralph Hammerl: The blow up valve is in the wrong place

172. "Addictive Mahjong"
A. Idske Mulder:
"Can you go and see what the children are doing upstairs hon'? I think I heard some rumbling noise."
B. Kirk Lowry:
"Heh... somebody had kimchee for dinner again last night! Boy, the Wongs are gonna be pissed you blew their house down!" & "Your tech support dollars at work."
C. Phil Forde:
"I told you what would happen if you didn't let Fred win. He usually just breaks a glass, but this time... well..."
D. Mark Prairie:
"Local villagers are undaunted by recent attacks by Godzilla and Mothra monsters, imported from Japan. One Villager commented: "We have been watching those movies for years and were prepared for this, although there was some delay, due to the out of sync sound track"."
E. Andrew Edel:
"Gee, when you said we'll finish the game even if the house falls down around you, I didn't take you literally."
F. Michele Robson:
"Twenny Fi Cent anti??? YOU CLAZY?"

173. "Dental Checkup"
A. Karen Moore:
"Some dental plans are a little too picky for me!"
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"OK, she had the Vichyssoise, Steak Tartar, Peach Cobbler with Whipped Cream..."
C. Mark Prairie:
"In order to demonstrate his unique training methods, Dr. Link fearlessly puts his head into the human's mouth." & "That little hangy down thing back there, must be the 'yap' the human males are always telling them to shut!"
D. Kirk Lowry:
"D*mn HMO's...", "Yeah... insert TicTac here." & "Mr. Pickles teeters on the brink of losing that dare and living forever with the stigma of the 'monkey who didn't touch the epiglottis'."
E. Idske Mulder:
"In some countries being a dentist is a monkey business." & "What?! No leftovers for me again?"
F. Andrew Edel:
"Thailand trains monkeys as customs inspectors: "She's OK - no contraband in here!""
G. Della Norton:
"How to get your teeth fixed in Thailand.", "Dentist opens primate molar inspection stand for tourists.", "Just as I thought. You have Gingivitis.!", "Open wide - this won't hurt a bit!" & "I am too late - she already swallowed the banana."
H. David Watts:
"Hmmmm, did you know you still have your tonsils?"

174. "Lightweight Safety Glasses"
A. Irvin Kauffman:
"WARNING... Stunt done by Professional Finisher in Closed Project. Kids - Don't Try This At Home!"
B. Kirk Lowry:
"Thanks for the tip, Enrique! I'm glad that we're finally over that whole 'I slept with your wife' thing...", "Mexico: putting the 'Y' in safety!" & "Yes, there is such a thing as 'too much Tequila'."
C. Idske Mulder:
"How to keep your steel prices low..." & "Perhaps the boss needs some new glasses too; they might open his eyes!"
D. Mark Prairie:
"Shortly after this picture was taken, Spalding's makeshift face shield fogged, obscuring his vision. It was then he realized, using a right angle air grinder to perform a self-pedicure was a bad idea." & "To lighten the monotonous drudgery, the workers would sing songs with a sound similar to a large kazoo band."
E. Andrew Edel:
"Say boss, are you sure this is the standard non-union safety wear?"
F. Jay Canfield:
"An ounce of prevention may only be just that (rather than a pound of cure). Don't settle for less when it comes to Safety."
G. Sue Gosselin:
"Gawd! This job is killing me!"
H. Della Norton:
"OSHA has only had to come out a few times this week.", "Did you say I needed boots AND plastic goggles? What are those?" & "What do you mean, this will melt to my face?"
I. Fred Piceno: Hey, stupid! The boss said “Don't breathe in the dirty air particles”, not “Don't breathe.”

175. "Motorbike Surfing"
A. Idske Mulder:
"There's more than one way to lose your motorcycle..."
B. Karen Moore:
"Next trick: How to do wheelies on a motorcycle!"
C. Kirk Lowry:
"Geico now covers motorcycles! They don't, however, cover idiots.", "Yeah... he took a wrong turn at Alberquerque." & "The tires aren't the only things full of hot air here!"
D. Peter Wright:
"Hey Dude, slow down or you'll aquaplane!"
E. Chuck Dewey:
"Last time I buy the cheapest GPS!"
F. Mark Prairie:
"Local Biker Joe (Pineapple) Dole, Inventor of the leather life jacket, catches a rare 'Hawaiian Hardwater Wave'.", "In an effort to save money on shipping and handling and with clever use of Photoshop, Ernest was able to drive his new bike home from Japan." & "Bridge Out!"
G. Andrew Edel:
"WHO said global warming is a bad thing?" & "But dude... this is Nebraska!"
H. Dave C.:
"Yamaha said it's great off-road!"
I. Rick Sardinha:
"Jesus Rides a Motorcycle"
J. Sue Gosselin:
"Wow! That must be the new moat-across bike I heard about!"
K. Della Norton:
"No officer - really, the road washed out so fast. I had to do wheeleys to keep afloat." & "C'mon Joe hurry - the water's rising!"

176. "Land Yacht"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"Dang, that thing's a barge!!!" & (valet attendant): "'Sir, your ship's come in.' "
B. Idske Mulder:
"Search for the Google Marathon Maps pic, and you'll know why this Land Yacht was built!"
C. Andrew Edel:
"James Bond's American cousin Billy Bob Bond readys his amphi-car 'I'm gonna' catch me sum bad guys!' ", "Whatsamatta U automobile engineers put the finishing touches on their latest model. ", "Prospective car buyers check out the first import made entirely in Bermuda!" & "The Redneck's Dream - a Cadillac with an Evinrude!"
D. Mark Prairie:
"Holy mackerel! I think I flooded it when I fishtailed back there, I gotta head for the car port and change my shorts, I have serious squid-marks. I'm worried about floundering with all those Barracuda off Plymouth Rock! Not to mention the Stingrays and Marlins!" & "I hope the boss doesn't dock me! Lucky I had some bailing wire and duck tape!"
E. Mark Jenschke:
"Now that's what I call 'trolling' for girls."
F. Marshall Wright:
"Billy-Joe finally got to cleaning his yard and put some of his 'lawn ornaments' to good use."
G. Della Norton:
"Yup, even the life jackets inflate during an accident.", "Fully covered for floods and high winds." & "We can float on down the river to a secret hideaway and drive off into the sunset."
H. Ralph Hammerl: Coupe Seaville from Cadillac

177. "Ugly To The Bone"
A. Phil Forde:
"Well, I didn't get much meat off the Joe-kster's ankle, so I'll just try mine!"
B. Kirk Lowry:
"Bite me." & "A face only a mother could... ah, heck. That's just UGLY! "
C. Idske Mulder:
"They crossed a sheep with a hyena, and then with a hog. Never realized they'd create such an eye catching dog!"
D. Andrew Edel:
"FETCH! Do I LOOK like I play fetch? ", "There IS reason to fear, Demon Dog is here! ", "CUT! That's a take! Now Buster, can U do cute and cuddly?" & "C'mon Lucky, Its time for your next Chemotherapy shot!"
E. Mark Prairie:
"After the mishap, Scruffy would react violently to the sight of any barbecue grill or starter fluid. This put a damper any backyard festivities that summer."
F. Nick Aslett:
"They fed Gizmo his own leg after midnight to see if it would have the same effect."
G. Ian Lehrke:
"Take a hike - I was born this way. What's your excuse?"
H. Mrs Brown:
"Me? Ugly? I know. I looked in the mirror and I was blinded!", "Check out the extra claws on the front legs! And YOU thought it was a dog? I say aliens DO exist, and find Chihuahuas attractive as breeding prospects! " & "I would hate to see the owner. You know what they say about dogs looking like their owners. Eeeeewwwwww! "
I. Michele Robson:
"Hey Spike... you wanna play NOW ! well.. .do ya... do ya, do ya wanna play spike huh?"
J. Della Norton:
"Steven King's pet dog. Now we know where he came up with 'Pet Cemetery'." & "Did you think Cujo was a bad doggie? Well this is his son. You should see his Mom."
K. Patrick Berechree:
"Hell Hound Need Blooooodd"
L. Andrew Ussery: Introducing this year at the Westminster Dog Show... the Chernobyl Terrier.
M. Georgie Withers: Who else wants to wake me up this early?” & “After close examination of this creature, Biologist Dr.Smith finally confirmed that its biological father is Justin Bieber.
N. Ralph Ferraro: Gollum’s dog

178. "Helmut Helmet"
A. Karen Moore:
"High on pot, Helmut tries to evade Italian paparazzi..."
Caption Winner!    B. Ric Mossip: "Better stainless, than brainless!", "Well YES officer, it IS Department of Transportation Approved... The label inside says, 'Suitable for high temperatures', and hey - it's hot out! " & "Jeez Mama... I know you are worried about me being on this motorcycle and I'm gonna buy a helmet next payday... but... c'mon... a pot? "
C. Kirk Lowry:
"This is your brain... this is your brain on pot..." & "Dang potheads, they're everywhere these days! "
D. Mrs Brown:
"Mamma always said my life was in this pot.", "Helmut's Brains Bolognaise Delivery and Take-Out ", "Spaghetti to go - You swerve, I serve " & "That's the last time I tell Mamma I don't want dinner before I go! "
E. Mark Prairie:
"Despite the pain caused by the hot pastafazool, Tony was determined to ride his new Moto Guzzi." & "Hey Keed... whatsa matta fo you? Next time use a salad bowl! "
F. Jay Canfield:
"Someone may get the basic concepts, but they miss the fine points or intentions."
G. Idske Mulder:
"His plan to impress the girls with his new motorbike somehow didn't pan out.", "Helmut always works late, but never goes without his dinner! " & "So this is antipasta? "
H. Tim Paul:
"It was just pot luck."

179. "Redneck Automatic Lawnmower"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"Bubba joins the crop-circle craze." & "I hate those toadstool rings... I hate those toadstool rings... I hate those toadstool rings... "
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"Somebody finally got your Uncle Bob's goat, eh?"
C. Matt Dewart:
"After being run up the flag by his underwear, Lawrence realized he was in a bit of a pickle."
D. Mark Prairie:
"Hey Ricky Bobby, y'all better come look! Somebody done stole yer dawg and left a littlebitty race car with a handle!"
E. John Schrag:
"How did I get roped into doing this job all by myself?"
F. Idske Mulder:
"When I'm at the end of my rope, the lawn's been mown!"
G. Della Norton:
"Now if I could just make it go in the corners, I would really have it all done.", "Now I have time to watch the football game without my wife yelling to go mow the lawn." & "I put just enough gas to do 6 laps around the pole."

180. "Jet Bike"
A. Karen Moore:
"Quickest way to put air into your tires..."
B. Ric Mossip:
"So Dave, notice anything different on the bike?  Err, yeah Mike, aren't those reflectors on the front forks new?", "Yeeeah... this baby will go from Zero to tomorrow in .6 seconds!", "Where do you put your legs? Behind your ears?", "Is it fast enough to out-run Radar?", "Do you get good mileage?", "Sooo, other than the Bonnyville Salt Flats, and the Moon, where else can you ride it?" & "Where can I get me one of these babies? "
C. Kirk Lowry:
"Yeah, it's fast... but I'm keeping a middle-eastern country solvent at the gas pumps..", "Well, Detective, we found the bike... we found the gloves (wrapped so tight around the handlebars that we needed a blowtorch to remove 'em)... but we never found the thief." & "Duuuude... sweet! "
D. Mike Trimble:
"Call Evil Knievel and ask him which way to the Snake River Canyon." & "Once I get on this _D@#m_ (mailto:D@#m) thing can you put up the kickstand?"
E. Elizabeth Watts:
"Goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds, rider left behind." & "Beats airplanes in the air, doesn't carry baggage or riders."
F. Mark Prairie:
"Burnin' up the highway, heavy metal thunder, racin' with the wind, cuz my pants wuz torn asunder!"
G. Idske Mulder:
"Ideal means of transport for fleeting visits!"
H. Kelly Archibald:
"Darn, late for work again!"
I. Sue Gosselin:
"Another movie remake... Easy Flier Returns!"

181. "Portable Auto Body Shop"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"For some inexplicable reason, Bob's delivery service (we now have automobile!) failed." & "I gots robbed, boss! Dey took de pizza, but lef' me da car!"
B. Elizabeth Watts:
"Look Ma, it's got good brake system, no tires, but good brakes!" & "Freddie, the doors won't pinch your fingers anymore, just put on your seat belt and shut up."
C. Mark Prairie:
"The next downhill turn would prove to be a setback in Carlo's fledgling repo service."
D. Idske Mulder:
"Just a small hole in the bottom to put my head and shoulders through and I'll save LOTS of money on gas!"
E. Lisa Crispin:
"Cash and Carry?"
F. Doug Brown:
"What lengths one will go to when it comes to acquiring scrap metal for money."
G. Sue Gosselin:
"Toyota's new gas-saving hybrid car for 2008."

182. "Yoga Leadership"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"Laziness of the future, today!" & "Behold, the power of Mac!"
B. Cherei McCarter:
"I know what you're thinking, 'cause right now I'm thinking the same thing. Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got here. Why, oh why didn't I take the blue pill???"
C. Idske Mulder:
"How a plot is being hatched."
D. Mary Cylch-Gwydd:
"Open the Pod Bay Doors Hal." & "2001 Space Odessey"
E. Matt Abramoski:
"Doc, I can't feel my legs."
F. Mark Prairie:
"Eventually, Turtles would evolve to dominate the world of business and, like the Japanese monster flying turtle Gamara, develop the ability to levitate. They would also develop a heightened sense of fashion." & "The Giant Pack-man can be seen attacking wall street Mogul J. Pierpont Farthington, sweeping him of his feet."
G. Irvin Kauffman:
"Just Don't Ask Me to Float a Loan!"
H. Della Norton:
"I told you this was a good magic trick. You can't even see the wires." & "And you said I couldn't do it. Chris Mindfreak showed me how."

183. "Eyekon Camera"
A. Mark Prairie:
"Louis had successfully reduced the size of his camera to a point where it would not be noticed when attached to his shoe. He hoped this would prevent the resounding slaps and harsh criticism he had received in the past."
B. Idske Mulder:
"This camera is so small you can always have it with you and use it at a pinch!"
C. Mark Jensen:
"Damn, I need the Telephoto!"
D. Sue Gosselin:
"I shutter to see this!"
E. Della Norton:
"Honey, I shrunk the camera. Now the kids can take pictures of their trip in the back yard."

184. "Out On A Bender"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"... women drivers ...", "Mercedes-Bends... no false-advertising here!" & "Ummmm... Bob.... what exactly did we drink last night? "
B. Idske Mulder:
"I thought I'd bend the parking rules a bit..."
C. Mrs Brown:
"Beamer Mini Loads - It's not just our hours that are flexible.", "Spiderman doesn't understand why he failed angle parking.", "Transformers Grandfather seized with arthritis mid motion.", "BMW bargains - Wall to Wall deals!" & "You like this one? Wait until you see our M6 convertibles..."
D. Mark Prairie:
"Gumby was L bent on driving everyone up the wall.", "Humpty bent his dump, haulin' plus size hippopotamumps." & "Vancouver backup maneuver."
E. Cheryl Hassell:
"I told you I would fit into this parking space!"
F. Irvin Kauffman:
"Mercedes' Bends"

185. "electricAL safety"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"Hey... wonder what this switch does.................................. oops."
B. Karen Moore:
"Is this legAL?"
C. Mark Prairie:
"This man is very much being a nimrod, every person is knowing you should not supposed to wear a watch when you will be working with great voltages of this most highest of levels!", "This image was taken shortly before Mr. Depakshoekablooey's ill fated attempt at time travel. His demise crippled the 1-800-help line system for the entire North American continent." & "Umm... I smell sausage cooking!"
D. Idske Mulder:
"Some people are so well connected to their job!"
E. John Schrag:
"Me an electrician? No, my wife is going to practice driving and I'm out of there!"
F. Ian Lehrke:
"I couldn't use Jumper Leads..."
G. Jon Varley:
"AL's wife was beginning to get worried he was taking the hunt to get free cable a little too far..."
H. Cheryl Hassell:
"I am sick and tired of waiting on the electric company to fix the problem. I'll show em!"
I. Vincent Edwards:
"Think of the Virgins. Think of the Virgins."
J. Della Norton:
"No Al - don't cut the red wire! That's the cable..."
K. Tom Clyne: Oh my, it’s starting to rain. I’ll just do this real quick...

186. "Ukrainian Crotch Jumping"
A. Karen Moore:
"Why use a Pole when you can use a Ukrainian?"
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"The Nutcracker Unsweet Jump"
C. Idske Mulder:
"They finally found a way to get a jump on him..." & "I think the man on his head is off his head!"
D. Mark Prairie:
"Igor Stanislas demonstrates the inverted "V" pile driving technique. After his assistants removed his head from the ground, he commented, "It is good I wearing supporter of the athletics!".", "Say... isn't that a chestnut mare?", "An ample diet of beer and cabbages enabled Boris to lift a horse and rider several feet into the air, however this stunt caused a very low attendance, totaling a mere three unsuspecting spectators." & "What a gas!"
E. April Dunaway:
"I tried to tell him that a vasectomy would be less painful..."
F. Phil Forde:
"Next time I'll be more careful and NOT break the cross bar." & "Let's hope this new metal underwear is as strong as they say!"
G. Cheryl Hassell:
"It would be so nice if this equestrian club could afford jumps."
H. Kristina Hudson:
"That's what you get for not saluting!"
I. Nick Roehrig:
"OK Mihihlo, make a wish and I'll be right back."
J. Della Norton:
"Why Ukrainians have a leg up in 'World Equestrian Show Jumping' events...", "Ukrainians who horse around tend to have high voices." & "An inauguration ceremony of formal investiture whereby the individual assumes the position..."

187. "Rubik's Head"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"Salvadore Dali: the Nightmare Years", "I've got a headache this big, and its got Excedrin written aaaaaaall over it.", "Ummm... Earl? What exactly did we do last night?" & "When plastic surgeons go bad: tonight, at 11."
B. Idske Mulder:
"Now let me see... Where did I leave my keys? No, not there! Perhaps there? Or there?" & "Do I look puzzled? But I'm only playing with thoughts!"
C. Jon Varley:
"After being hit by Umbrella Corp defenses, the Resident Evil team realised humpty dumpty was based on a true story."
D. Mark Prairie:
"The location of Norman's house next to the cemetery, provided him with all the material he would need to make the mask. However, the kids in the neighborhood would remember this Halloween and avoid the Norman residence, like a helping of liver and onions, for years afterwords." & "Louie Wurlitzer, inventor of the disco mirror ball."
E. Della Norton:
"I think I know it, now turn the middle 3 times to the right, turn the left side 2 times, down and the right side up once, or was that twice? OOHHH Man I just can't get it."
F. Fred Piceno: Mark Strange, private eye, sniffs out another clue.

188. "Handicap Helper"
A. Karen Moore:
"Putting a new meaning to raised toilet seats...", "Handi-Crap Helper" & "Hang on... I think I've got it!"
B. Martin Grosse:
"Lending a helping hand to disabled bums."
C. Mark Prairie:
"To all Humans, You have broken my circulation pump with your insensitivity to a robot's needs. You have let my batteries discharge for the last time...", "Goodbye cruel world...", "Robby the Robot" & "How does that grab ya?"
D. Kirk Lowry:
"New from Japan! Feeling frisky? Need a little pick-me-up? Try the new and ultra high-tech Goose-o-matic 2000!", "And now, back to 'Life of a Terminator: The Layoff Years'." & "Addam's Family Upgrades"
E. Idske Mulder:
"That was not what I meant when I asked you to give me a hand in the bathroom!"
F. Kevin Card:
"Stop right there! Pay before you sit...", "On second thought maybe I will get that exam from the doctor instead!" & "A warming hand for those experiencing constipation."
G. Ian Lehrke:
"Suddenly I don't wanna go..."
H. Glenda Mellinger:
"I told you I'd be back!"
I. Della Norton:
"Ladies, no more wiping off the seat after someone else has been in there. This handy dandy hand wipes it for you.", "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweety - wipe the seaty. Oh yeah, you don't have to know metal maid is here." & "Have no fear - I am here to help you work it out..."
J. Joseph Mills: Part of the new Obama 'Health Care Package' for seniors and disabled Americans.
K. Fred Piceno: I warn you, Earthling, for every one of us you destroy we will destroy ten of you.

189. "Collara Dog"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"Inspirational poster: 'Dedication'", "Inspirational poster: 'Determination'" & "... I was framed."
B. Mark Prairie:
"You don't need to shout!" & "Descended from the pointer, or needle tail breed, Victor, the Victrola dog, waits patiently for his masters voice. These dogs once provided entertainment for the family and are excellent with children, however, they do not get along well with furniture."
C. Idske Mulder:
"Don't know why they took this pic so soon. I'm not even half way through the furniture yet!"
D. Mark Worth:
"Gee, my master is using me as a Mobile Satellite Dish, and he takes me to all the parties." & "Gee, I wish my master would buy a proper Satellite Dish, this is getting ridiculous."
E. Vincent Edwards:
"Barf Control"
F. Letha Fenwick:
"Looks Like He Got the Message!"
G. Della Norton:
"I will tar and feather him! Tar and feather... Wait, where is the tar? I knew I was forgetting something." & "Wait till he sees his prized stuffed pheasant now..."
H. Tom Clyne: As a puppy, he had enjoyed listening to his master’s collection of vintage RCA Victor records, and taken pleasure seeing the dog in the logo “His Master’s Voice.” Sadly, his owner passed away, and his new master never played music - just listened to talk radio. It drove the dog crazy! One evening alone he had to show his frustration, and to express his wish to hear the RCA Victor repetoire. Assuming his pose, he awaited the return of his master...

190. "Water Music"
A. Karen Moore:
"Recent British floods force pianists to 'Handel' with care..." & "How to tune your piano to the key of Sea."
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"Not enough oars!"
C. Robert Johnston:
"The music is OK, but from here, it seems a bit watered down."
D. Idske Mulder:
"Rippling music"
E. Phil Forde:
"The rendition of Titanic was so moving, it bought tears to the whole audience!" & "Joe, you know that leaky pipe I told you about? Well, it's like this..."
Caption Winner!    F. Patrick D. Jozefowicz: "Lost at C"
G. Mark Prairie:
"Tidal Flats and Sharks... Tonight 8 pm cst... 14 O'clock Canada time, the Discovery Channel"
H. Kevin Card:
"I told you not to use the dampening pedal!"
I. Bill Mielniczuk:
"I asked to you to PLAY the Blue Danube, not play IN the Blue Danube!"
J. Sue Gosselin:
"Let me tell you dear, Carol's recital went swimmingly!"
K. Tom Clyne: Though discomforted by a light rain prior to the garden recital, and perhaps concerned by the for-boating sky, the audience soon found themselves buoyed by the artist’s fluid mastery of her instrument as she swimingly displayed how well-anchored was her understanding of the composer, ultimately releasing a flood of cascading chords, and causing a raft of listeners to become submerged in the depths of a rising tide of music. Overcome by waves of emotion, there was not a dry handkerchief remaining.

191. "Toy Recall"
A. Karen Moore:
"Another ungrate-ful kid..."
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"Grate Cheeses, Lettuce Spray!"
C. Mark Prairie:
"After the incident, park district officials banned children from the slide and it became a popular hangout for gourmet chefs and vegetarians." & "Hey! There's a shredded boy scout under the end of this slide!"
D. Idske Mulder:
"Having grate fun!" & "Take your grategrandchildren to this grate playground: No escrape possible!"
E. Kirk Lowry:
"Uncle!!! UNCLE!!!" & "Yeah? Well, you should see it make Julianne Fries!"
F. Phil Forde:
"Urgent toy recall. We regret our new toy may cause rashes on some people. We are still doing tests to eradicate this problem. We would be very grateful for any feedback. Or as the case may be food back!"
G. Lorraine Jeziorski:
"'A slice of life' for the younger generation."
H. Kelly 'Dumpster Diva' Rae:
"Say Cheese!!!"
I. Matt Couture:
"I thought my dad was going to chew my ass!"
J. Sue Gosselin:
"Reuse, Recycle, Reduce!"
Caption Winner!    K. Terry Petko: "Jimmy was having a 'grate' time until someone cut the cheese."
L. D. K. Browne:
"Oh Grate!"
M. Ray Roberts:
"Grate Cheesy Slide"
N. Tom Clyne: Unfortunate slide reported in usage of park facilities.

192. "Alternative to Elevators"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"Nobody could prove it, but it was always suspected that Frank Lloyd Wright's son may have gotten ahold of his dad's floor plans..." & "Welcome to The Company. Obviously, the higher you progress up the corporate ladder, the bigger the perks."
B. Idske Mulder:
"Company dress code: Firm trousers & no high heels. Taking a small cushion to work is recommended."
C. Pat Jozefowicz:
"They weren't built to be water slides, but after the first couple of people slid down, they became water slides."
D. Mark Prairie:
"I figure Chubby is stuck about halfway down again, go get a couple of the seventeen pound Brunswick's, the purple ones, and move those damn candy machines down to the first floor."
E. Matthew Dollinger:
"Amendment to dress code (due to workers-comp burn claims)...Skirts are no longer acceptable for employees working on the 2nd floor or above."
F. Sue Gosselin:
"Listen - I'm not saying the company's screwed up, but..."
G. Ed Pellicciotti:
"Coming down is okay, but going up is a bitch."
H. Della Norton:
"After a long days work, the employees get to play for a while to relax them before they go home. Relieves stress by 97%..." & "This company changed the 'all work and no play' policy."
I. Joe Buckner:
"These escape slides are just in case Bubba gets into your cell."
J. Nick Amso:
"America's response to the 'Tube'."
K. Tom Napoli:
"Yea! CEO's get a golden parachute, subordinates get a silver cork screw!"
L. Tom Clyne: MEMO: Once again we must repeat that company rules require that every employee MUST use the washroom BEFORE descending to the first floor.
M. Alison Melrose: At last, a simple way round the disability act for getting wheelchair bound staff out in the event of a fire!
N. Fred Piceno: Don’t blame me! I TOLD you the guy you hired to design the emergency escape plan had “State Pen” on his Résumé and NOT “Penn State”.

193. "Trampoline Safety"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"Trampoline safety: get the point?", "Okay, Fred... now, to join our little fraternity, all you have to do is...", "No prob! We haven't had so much as a single bruise since we installed the new John Deer Trampoline Safety System!" & "But Mom... we really CAN'T go outside to play!"
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"Duck the Thirty-Six Point Buck!!!"
C. Idske Mulder:
"Who says trampoline jumping is pointless?"
D. Donald H. Sartori:
"I guess you could say, the buck stops here."
E. Phil McGinley:
"At first, Ernie and Paul's Deer Ranch was a dismal failure. They kept losing deer every night until they figured out the meshed enclosures were installed upside-down."
F. Mark Prairie:
"After Hobo Frank finished of the cheap wine he referred to as 'Trampoline' he staggered over to the deer and mumbled 'which one a you is Rudolph and what did you do with Santy Claus?' "
Caption Winner!    G. David Van Dyk: "You won't believe the deal I found, a trampoline just over 6 bucks."
H. Sue Gosselin:
"Take our salt licks away will ya..."
I. Glenda Mellinger:
"CAUTION: this trampoline will get you Horny!"
J. Della Norton:
"Just a few pointers on how to use this trampoline." & "There is a new point system to trampoline jumping. You get a buck every time you jump..."

194. "Tennis Halfpipe"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"...and that was 'Curling Deadlifts'. Now, the next exhibit on our Tour of Failed Olympic Venues, the Tennis-Pipe..."
B. Idske Mulder:
"Round the bend tennis" & "Tony Hawk's tennis court"
C. Mark Prairie:
"Shoddy construction of tennis court linked to local Rackets.", "I say Reggie, how about a bit of tennis? Which do you prefer? Clay, hard or Velcro with helmet and knee-pads?" & "Net leaps became a thing of the past, when most of the players wound up in a cast."
D. Della Norton:
"Quiet, Please! He is going to do a triple flip, skip down, turn around upside down, one handed serve..."

195. "Desert Muffins"
A. Karen Moore:
"Some people don't see water in their mirages." & "Fruit cakes come in all sizes."
B. Idske Mulder:
"Des(s)ert muffins"
C. Phil Forde:
"Cup cakes come in all sizes." & "Stand in sun for 5 minutes and HORRAY - up she rises!"
D. Darlene Stafford:
"Cowboy Up Cupcake!", "How many cupcakes does it take for Bin Laden to go back to his cave?", "If Betty Crocker saw this she would be turning over in her grave...", "The next Bachelorette contestants have arrived." & "I'll take Cupcake #4 for $500, Alex."
E. Mark Prairie:
"Due to a communication problem, the aliens disguises were far from incognito. Fortunately, they had landed in an unpopulated area near Roswell New Mexico, and escaped detection, a trail of sprinkles the only evidence that they had arrived."
F. Bob Nelson:
"Lined up on the Bonneville Salt Flats, contestants eagerly await their chance to set the muffin land speed record."
G. Justin Zachor:
"Do you know the Muffin Men?"
H. Della Norton:
"New designs for the turtle population, we can stick our heads inside too and not be seen." & "Everyone start your engines, get your Muffin Runnin..."
I. Tom Clyne: Desperate bake-off contestants, challenged by the searing heat of the Mohave dessert, realized that they would have to escape from the relentless sun relying entirely on the only skills they had.

196. "Ascot Fashion Statement"
A. Irvin Kauffman:
"Master Jabba... Jedi Luke Skywalker is here." & "...then watch, next I'll make a little Kitty!"
B. Idske Mulder:
"When this race is over, could you have James fetch the Bentley a bit soon, Dear? For some obscure reason people keep asking me why we took the tube..."
C. Mark Prairie:
"Shop Vac introduces their latest millinery creation, the 'Ten Gallon'."
D. June O'Rourke:
"Wait, I'm picking up a signal. Bet it all on Glue Factory."
E. Sue Gosselin:
"Margaret, you have taken this Red Hat Society too darn far!"
F. Della Norton:
"Think anyone will notice the huge red [retzel on my head?" & "Do you think I will stand out in this crowd?"
G. Darlene Benson:
"This looks like a good way to use old swimming pool noodles!"

197. "Mechanical Patient"
A. Karen Moore:
"HMO's new 'do-it-yourself' adjustable hospital beds."
B. Kirk Lowry:
"Hmmm... while I'm here...", "*grumblegrumble*... come to the bleepin hospital... get my bleepin oil changed... bleepin BlueCross..." & "Hey, buddy... that looks like a metric socket there..."
C. Irvin Kauffman:
"Not enough jack for Doc's fee!"
D. Idske Mulder:
"The best way to get carried away in hospital!" & "Desperate ills call for desperate remedies."
E. Phil Forde:
"I'll fix that squeak if it's the last thing I do!" & "Cut the price of hospital care. Fix your own bed, and you get a 10% discount on all other services."
F. Mark Prairie:
"Monty was relieved that his roommate had remembered to wear something under his hospital gown, and made a mental note not to ask how his accident with the car jack had happened, ever again!"
G. Harald Sandstrom:
"By Jove... he didn't clean his toenails!"
H. Sue Gosselin:
"Wow! I thought my health plan was bad..."
I. Pat Dooley:
"What the heck are you do-in?" & "They said they was all out of screws and cant do my knee surgery tomorrow... maybe this here one will fit."
J. Chet Brooks:
"I wonder where the LEAK started?"
K. Cassidy Kohl:
"Screwdriver…"
L. Tom Clyne: Rules for those with private health insurance: (1) Your insurance does not cover any of the expenses of your hospital stay. (2) On the first day of their stay, you will be required to make your own bed. (3) On subsequent days, you are encouraged to amuse yourself observing new patients making their beds. (4) Having made your bed on the first day, you will have the necessary skill to maintain your bed for the duration of your stay. (5) Fresh linens may be had by washing them in your bathroom sink and drying them on the radiators.
M. Wayne Breighner: So this is what Obama’s new health care system looks like
N. Fred Piceno: Just a few more adjustments and I’m a shoo-in to win the ‘Atlanta Pajama and Bed Race 5K’

198. "BraPod"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"No, really... what WAS I drinking last night?", "Deloris... I don't think you need to worry about where the lampshade went...", "Introducing Victoria's Secrets new 'Holdup Bra'..." & "Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I did... how did you guess that I forgot to put my contacts in this morning?"
B. Phil Forde:
"I did ask for an uplift, but this is not what I had in mind!"
C. Idske Mulder:
"Bracellphone"
D. Irvin Kauffman:
"Oh Bra...d, I'll wait for you!"
E. Mike Trimble:
"Of course it's a hands free cell phone!"
F. Mark Prairie:
"Subject demonstrates the A/C Double Parabolic Under Wired Reflector Cell Phone Signal Enhancement Apparatus.", "I’m sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed, please hang out and try again." & "Traditional 'first base' move, thwarted by cell phone interruption."
G. Shelley Lloyd:
"Quick-thinking police cadet passes her final test: keep the bomb squad on the line and cut the right wire!"

199. "Carden Garden"
A. Phil Forde:
"Yes dear, I'll mow the lawns in the morning... talk about movable turf!"
B. Irvin Kauffman:
"You're in a heap of trouble, boy... that Weed's illegal!"
C. Kirk Lowry:
"Whadda ya mean, its high time I cleaned out my car?" & "No, officer, I'm not transporting grass... why do you ask?"
D. Idske Mulder:
"Hon', would you park the park car in the car park please, or we'll end up with a blooming ticket!"
E. Mark Prairie:
"The new turfo charged Swedish Sod 900, that's one grassy chassis!", "The new Ford Fairway!", "The Dodge Divot!" & "The Chevy Chia!"
F. Darlene Benson:
"Ecology class car!"
G. Graham Benson:
"This is what happens when you put too much fertilizer on it!"

200. "Peekaboo!"
A. Kirk Lowry:
"And after seeing his shadow, Bob Jr. retreats back inside for another six months...", "And after seeing his choices for the upcoming Presidential elections, Bob Jr. retreats back inside..." & "Boo!"
B. Mark Prairie:
"'Baby Face' Francis, world's smallest paparazzi, dons his disguise before moving past White House security." & "Somebody get me a ladder, the escape hatch is jammed."
C. Irvin Kauffman:
"'MEN IN GREY – PROTECTING THE GIRTH FROM'… does Spielberg know about this?"
D. Idske Mulder:
"This is a hold-up!" & "The baby has a real belly laugh."
E. Mrs Brown:
"Junior dons his disguise to gain inside information at the baby show on how mothers DO know everything and where exactly they hide those eyes in the back of their head!"
F. Jack Ragan:
"Whoooo! I need some air!"
G. Della Norton:
"See Honey, I told you it is nice out here. You can come out anytime now!"
H. Nick Amso:
"Über Sezarian."
I. Tom Napoli:
"Creative child doesn't like the old fashioned way."


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