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Yo Mama

joe-ks.com

251. "Teeter TottHer"
A. Kyle Ziegler: "The backboard, before basketball came about."
B. Idske Mulder: "The singing see-saw"
C. Jennifer Laxton: "Kids bored? Try this board!"
D. David Watts: "It's always a good idea to stretch the wings a bit before you get off the ground."
E. Marlene Goodman: "Here's a mom trying to balance work and kids."
F. Liz Brewer: "Hey dad, this is way more fun than burying mom in the sand and I can launch little Susie too!"

252. "Not You!"
A. Spencer Thomas: "How’s that 1980’s hit song by Little River Band go again? – ‘Time for a Cool Train...’ "
B. Finbarr McSweeney: "First Class passengers only, move along!"
C. Irvin Kauffman: "Her Knight Dampens His..."
D. Kyle Ziegler: "Water you waiting for lady? Get on board!"
E. Karen Moore: "Amtrak introduces new watered-down rates - ladies first!"
F. David Watts: "Hold the train, oh I thought you said 'Hose the Dame'!", "Fridays are wet t-shirt day, no exceptions!" & "Lady, if you think you're getting on this train, well you're all wet!"
G. Idske Mulder: "She always wanted to make a splashing entrance..."
H. Terry Fiedor: "I coulda had a V-8!"
I. Marlene Goodman: "Welcome to the ultimate reality tour to Niagara Falls."
J. Rob Vajko: "Shower included in the service!"
K. Ronnie Smith: "Cigarette? I thought your face was on fire lady."
L. Bill McCall: "Another person's 'Bucket List' may not be your cup of tea!"

253. "Long Kiss"
A. Reg Cunningham: "He suspected she was full of hot air... "
B. Gordon Frasier: "Love affair blown out of proportion."
C. Karen Moore: "Inflation in the animal kingdom."
D. Donald Sartori: "Has it come to this? Inflatable girlfriends?"
E. Girish Gangadharan: "Setting Great Heights in Kissing"
F. Marlene Goodman: "Back off, Charlie. She's MY date for tonight!"

254. "Pour Picture"
A. Finbarr McSweeney: "I'd better replace the glass before the tide comes in."
B. Irvin Kauffman: "The end of a pregnant moment!"
C. Idske Mulder: "Reality art"
D. Terry Fiedor: "OOPSIE!!!"
E. Marlene Goodman: "Drat! Why didn't I buy the picture of a pile of money!?" & "Nuts! This stupid picture can't hold its water."
F. Peter Hysen: “Pour Picture”


255. "Face Plant"
A. Kirk Lowry: "Doh!" & "Knuckle sandwich: Its what's for dinner!"
B. Irvin Kauffman: "A Right Glib Jab at Acne, but Clearsil it Ain't!"
C. Idske Mulder: "Is this the Punch and Judy show?"
D. Terry Fiedor: "It worked MUCH better in Looney Tunes!"
E. Girish Gangadharan: "Face unfolded"
F. Marlene Goodman: "I REALLY, REALLY could have had a V-8!" & "Punch drunk and slap happy are not a good combo."
G. W. Breigneran: " Under O'Bama's health care plan, this is first aid for a nose bleed"
H. Alan Washburn: “Sucker Punch ” & “When I get done here, Mom can use me for the stool plunger!”

256. “River Crossing”
A. Kirk Lowry: “Washington used a boat? Amateur!” & “Mental note: next time we go waterskiing... bring a boat.”
B. Richard Olszewski: “New ferry service opens on the Thames - costs peanuts to ride!”
C. Idske Mulder: “Spot the real bridgeheads...”
D. Irvin Kauffman: “Bridges? We don't need no Stinking... Bridges! ”
E. Marlene Goodman: “'Cirque de Sol-deep' is in town.” & “A fun new way to river cruise: pack a suitcase and pachyderm.”

257. “Company Escape Clause”
A. Karen Moore: “Are you heading up or down the corporate ladder?”
B. Kirk Lowry: “Cutting down on company 'bathroom break' abuse” & “The irony is, once you reach the bathroom on the 12th floor, you no longer need to go.”
C. Marlene Goodman: “Stairway to the complaint department” & “The funny part is when the first door locks behind you and the other one is bolted.”
D. Idske Mulder: “I'm not taking the St.... Aircase!”
E. Carl Restivo: “Low Bidder again, huh?”

258. “Facial Hair”
A. Camille La Ronde: “Knot such a good idea for tangled hair.”
B. Irvin Kauffman: “The Winner of Today's Face-off is a Heady young lass!”
C. Donald Sartori: “Well, the coven thought this was cool.”
D. Idske Mulder: “Dolls get in her hair” & “No matter what, she keeps her hair on!”
E. Marlene Goodman: “That's quite a heads of hair she's got!”, “The sad collection of all the victims of her doll beheadings perpetrated by her brother. ” & “RaPUNKzel”

259. “Pipe Pants”
A. Idske Mulder: “Oooops!” & “Escape vent”
B. Irvin Kauffman: “Looks as though he escaped 'bent', (from the 2010 Wizard of Ooze!)” & “Did you find your ring yet?”
C. Teresa Cromer: “Santa! You've just got to lay off the hooch in December - the whole world is out looking for you!”
D. Marlene Goodman: “(Tap-tap-tappity-tap) Shuffle off to Buffaloooooo!”

260. “Laptop Security”
A. Reba Hansinger: “How to spot dyed-in-the-wool hijackers.”
B. Jason Branson: “Dear passengers, new airport security measures require you to place your underwear in front of you at all times.”
C. Irvin Kauffman: “Dim bulb terrorist laptop wrap keeps your secrets safe on Virgin Airlines!” & “Saving Money for Upkeep on those 71 One-time Virgins!”
D. Donald Sartori: “Nobody can pull the wool over this guy.”
E. Marlene Goodman: “The underpants bomber takes it to new heights - The Long Johns Bomber” & “Keeps your private email private... and toasty warm.”
F. Idske Mulder: “Nutwear” & “The type type”
G. Chris Toews: “The new 'Interknit' is all the rage!”
H. Andrew Banner: “He so nearly got away with watching the porn movie - if only he'd turned the sound Off.”

261. “Unlikely Friends”
A. Karen Moore: “The Jungle Book predators forged a lifelong friendship.”
B. Roger Holt: “Lions and sheep and bears, Oh my!” & “Keep telling them we're Wolves in sheep's clothing, they've believed us so far...”
C. Idske Mulder: “The interesting part begins when they make a stop...”
D. Talitha Mayo: “I thought I told you kids to put the matching pair on the outside.”

262. “Plain Plane Seat”
A. Kirk Lowry: “Economy sucks.” & “Parenting + Travel = Pain in neck”
B. Idske Mulder: “When Dad's reading, I'm his eyes and ears.”
C. Andrew Banner: “Are we nearly there yet?”
D. Girish Gangadharan: “Habits of Peeping Toms at their Best Heights”

263. “Redneck Windshield Wiper”
A. Carol Thornton: “Left, right, left, right...”
B. Marlene Goodman: “One day Bubba was drunk and kept forgetting to pull the rope: Taa-daa - Intermittent Wipers was invented!”
C. Kirk Lowry: “Green-ish car: expends less energy cleaning the windows while blasting the AC to compensate for the windows being down!” & “Introducing Ford's new concept car, the Orleans... not to be driven in rain.”
D. Andrew Banner: “See, I see stopped those Wiper Thieves... Darn, my stereo's gone.”

264. “Elephant Enema”
A. Sam Joseph: “Yet another reason why Republicans are requesting lobbying reform.” & “What happens when lobbyists run low on funds.”
B. Kirk Lowry: “Mondays...”,  “And this year's award for the 'All-Time Crappiest Job' goes to...” & “Hey! My keys!!!”
C. Donald Sartori: “If you think this is bad, I only work for peanuts.”,  “I didn't know condoms came in blue XXXXXL.”,  “Hey, I think I found Jimmy Hoffa.” & “Darn, jobs are hard to find!”
D. Karen Moore: “Jethro had an in-stink-t that this was going to be a long job.”
E. Terry Fiedor: “Another RINO pooped out.” & “I know I left that hammer somewhere...”
F. Marlene Goodman: “Son of a gun. Roger really DOES get pooped out on the job.” & “You think elephant artificial insemination is bad... you should see what he has to do to get her to agree to a date!”
G. William Dillingham: “And on our next edition of Dirty Jobs...”
H. Andrew Banner: “Stop singing that U2 song, 'I still haven't found what I'm looking for...'”

265. “Armpit Inspectors”
A. Brenda Culligan: “Candidates line up for the next Hair-e Potter film.”
B. Dave Leduk: “Inspiration or Perspiration?”
C. Kirk Lowry: “'Go to college,' he said... 'get a Philosophy degree', he said... frikkin real-world...” & “Declassified documents reveal CIA's latest Guantanamo Bay methods”

266. “Hot Air Balloon Dominoes”
A. Neal Marcia: “Whoops, that's one shitty collision!”
B. Kirk Lowry: “Well, crap.”,  “Two points!”, “Friends don't let friends drive under the influence.” & “He's been in there forever? Hang on, I'll get him out...”
C. Marianne Merz: “Knock, knock! Who's there? Gondola! Gondola who? Gone to da Loo!”
D. Pete Tuzna: “Off the shitter Dorothy, we're going to Kansas.”

267. “Head Loose Socket” Send us YOUR Caption, eh!
A. Karen Moore: “Time for Bob to switch to CFL (Cranium Fixed Lighting) fluorescent bulbs.”
B. Kirk Lowry: “Bob... yer gettin ahead of yerself again...”,  “Two points!” & “One screw loose...”
C. Irvin Kauffman: “To Me, Socket!”
D. Andrew Banner: “Right, ... Where did I put my spec's?”

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