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“I march to the beat of my own accordion.”
“Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.”
“You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.”
Music Teacher's Sign: “Out Chopin - Bach in a minuet.”
“He thinks Meow Mix is a CD for cats.”
“Montovani? They play Montovani to insomniacs that don't respond to strong drugs.”
“Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.”
“Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.”
“Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.”
What do you call male ballerinas?
What you are if you don't take piano lessons...
“Some music stores are in a CD part of town.”
“If we would only send young American tenors to stud abroad, they would return immensely improved.”
“The all-girl orchestra was rather weak in the bras section.”
Humbug: A singing cockroach.
Violinist: A man who is always up to his chin in music.
Trumpet Teacher: Tooter tutor.
If everyone in the choir is singing the same note, where is the harmony?
First Music Score: Beethoven: 7, Bach: 3
“Music Industry Meets On Drugs”
“Elvis is dead,” said Tom expressly.
“Who’s your favourite operatic tenor?” Tom asked placidly.
“I have to sing a run of eighth notes,” said Tom quaveringly.
How did the corn do in the band?
Why couldn't the music teacher get into the classroom?
Why did the piano teacher chase the elephant with a feather?
Why did the soloist turn her back on the school band?
Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
Why are pianos hard to open?
Did you hear about the musician who wrote all his music in bed?
What kind of bones are in an orchestra?
What would happen if a piano fell on you?
Organ: A large upright bagpipe.
Rock: The kind of music no matter what notes you play, wrong sounds the same.
Playing By Note: Learning to play the piano by note instead of by ear. Thirty-six payments on the note and the piano is yours to learn to play.
Did you hear about the constipated musician?
What Star Wars movie features a classical composer?
Why is the cello the easiest instrument to make?
Where do strawberries play their saxophones?
Why are locksmiths such good singers?
What do truck drivers do when the music starts?
What kind of nets are in an orchestra?
Music: Moonlight in the gloomy night of life.
Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.
What's a pig's favourite ballet?
Why was the music teacher absent?
Conductor: The musician most likely to get struck by lightning.
Minnesinger: Harmonic minor.
Musician: Someone who makes a living by playing around.
Sleep: An excellent way of listening to an opera.
Soprano: A woman with smooth sailing on the high C's.
Unaccompanied: The orchestra is on strike.
Violator: A person who plays the viola.
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
What vegetable keeps the best musical rhythm?
Did you hear about the composer who only worked in bed?
Why is playing Spanish guitar so easy?
It's hard to be fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.
Was Handel a crank?
The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen.
What did the musician bring to the music store?
Why does the navy recruit so many opera singers?
Did you hear about the constipated musician?
Why is a slippery sidewalk like music?
What do you call a tuba's father?
What instrument do lighthouse keepers play?
Who are the cleanest opera singers?
What do you call a tuba quartet that plays at construction sites?
Why are pianos hard to open?
Which planet is the most musical?

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