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Music Joe-ks
joe-ks.com
Largest Source of Internet Humour!
"I
march to the beat of my own accordion."
(click on the thumbnail images below to expand to full size)
Smooth Leaning Shoes
Artistic COPs
Musical Spoons
Deaf Car
Safe Seat Belt
Stereo Bike
Boom Box Car
Mozart in Africa
Amplified Truck
Guitar Throne
Water Music
A Picture Of Me In The Shower Surround Sound for Babies Fender Bender First Performance Geek Piano Back Peddling Violinist Solar Ghetto Power
Plumber's Party
Pawano Lessons
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Piano Movers a la Motorcycle
12
Days of Christmas - Cost of True Love for 2004
Copyright © 1995-2010 joe-ks.com
"Rap is
to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art."
"You
can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish."
Music Teacher's Sign:
"Out
Chopin - Bach in a minuet."
"He
thinks Meow Mix is a CD for cats."
"Montovani?
They play Montovani to insomniacs that don't respond to strong drugs."
"Wear
the right costume and the part plays itself."
"Dancing
cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play."
"Please
do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best."
What do you call male ballerinas?
What
you are if you don't take piano lessons...
"Some
music stores are in a CD part of town."
"If
we would only send young American tenors to stud abroad, they would return
immensely improved."
"The
all-girl orchestra was rather weak in the bras section."
Humbug: A singing cockroach.
Violinist: A man who is always up to his chin in music.
Trumpet Teacher: Tooter tutor.
If everyone in the choir is singing the same note, where is the harmony?
First Music Score: Beethoven: 7, Bach: 3
"Music Industry Meets On
Drugs"
"Elvis
is dead," said Tom expressly.
"Who's
your favourite operatic tenor?" Tom asked placidly.
"I have
to sing a run of eighth notes," said Tom quaveringly.
How did the corn do in the band?
Why couldn't the music teacher get into the classroom?
Why did the piano teacher chase the elephant with a feather?
Why did the soloist turn her back on the school band?
Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
Why are pianos hard to open?
Did you hear about the musician who wrote all his music in bed?
What kind of bones are in an orchestra?
What would happen if a piano fell on you?
Organ: A large upright bagpipe.
Rock: The kind of music no matter what notes you play, wrong sounds the same.
Playing By Note: Learning to play the piano by note instead of by ear.
Thirty-six payments on the note and the piano is yours to learn to play.
Did you hear about the constipated musician?
What Star Wars movie features a classical composer?
Why is the cello the easiest instrument to make?
Where do strawberries play their saxophones?
Why are locksmiths such good singers?
What do truck drivers do when the music starts?
What kind of nets are in an orchestra?
Music: Moonlight in the gloomy night of life.
Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.
What's a pig's favourite ballet?
Why was the music teacher absent?
Conductor: The musician most likely to get struck by lightning.
Minnesinger: Harmonic minor.
Musician: Someone who makes a living by playing around.
Sleep: An excellent way of listening to an opera.
Soprano: A woman with smooth sailing on the high C's.
Unaccompanied: The orchestra is on strike.
Violator: A person who plays the viola.
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
What vegetable keeps the best musical rhythm?
Did you
hear about the composer who only worked in bed?
Why is playing Spanish guitar so easy?
It's hard to be fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.
Was Handel a crank?
The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen.
What did the musician bring to the music store?
Why does the navy recruit so many opera singers?
Did you hear about the constipated musician?
Why is a slippery sidewalk like music?
What do you call a tuba's father?
What instrument do lighthouse keepers play?
Who are the cleanest opera singers?
What do you call a tuba quartet that plays at construction sites?
Why are pianos hard to open?
Which planet is the most musical?
Did you hear about the slow composer?
It's taken me all my life to learn what not to play.
What
kind of music is painful?
How does the
sky listen to music?
What happens to a harp when its strings break?
Why did Little Johnny get sent from his music class to the principal's office?
Why was the
opera singer kicked out of class?
What do you get when you cross a string quartet with a chocolate dessert?
Why must you be in good shape to become a singer?
Where do musicians live?
Which composer wrote a delicate symphony?
What did the composer who only worked in bed do?
What kind of musician can't you trust?
What game is played by musicians?
What instrument do proud Scotsmen play?
What instrument does a lighthouse keeper play?
What do you call two bees, a hornet, and a wasp that play violins?
the Joe-kster's favourite playlist
Like This
BachScratcher
Organ Transplant
You're So Vane!
Mannequin Cello
Third Fiddle
Cat Fish
Piano Lessons for Adult Nerds!
Which musician is actually watching the conductor?
Could he be playing "Beaglethoven" or "Muttszart"?
12 Days
of Christmas - Gifts By Mail
18th Century History by College Students
1970s
Rock Groups
1st Modern Church (3.1M)
42
A Day of Mourning
for Hokey Pokey Fans
A
Picture Of Me In The Shower
Aging Rock Music
Amplified Truck
Art Show
Artistic COPs
BachScratcher
Back Peddling Violinist
Backwards Country Song
Bad Timing for a Cymbal
Wakeup Call
Bald Rabbits
Beer Bottle Orchestra
(2.1M)
Beethoven's Favourite Fruit Symphony
Beginning Piano Lessons
The Beijing Olympics Fakebook
Best Panhandler
(3.8M)
Best String Quartet In The
World!
Biker's Last Request
Blow Dryer for the Shower?
Boom Box Car
Born To
Dance & 'Cat'ch the Wave!
Breakfast Dance - Shakin' Bacon (3.0M)
Breast Implant Breakthrough
Brittany Speers - a Hooter?
BrokeBack Ballet
Buddhist Choir of B.C. Sings for the Dalai Lama
Car Stereo Without The Car
Cat Fish
CCR Misheard Lyrics
(4.5M)
Choir On Tour
Christmas Laser Light Show (5.0M)
Christmas Music
Composer Puns
Christmas Pizza
Chronic Coughers
Church
Hymns by Word Association
Clarinet
Solution for Lena's Singing
Claude Cooper's Clean Copper Clappers (2.1M)
Clearly Good Intentions
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Computer Saxophone - Pretty Saxy!
Dance Off Competition (3.4M)
Deaf Car
El Maestro & the Talented Animalicians
Electrician's Christmas Hymn
Elephant Blues
Eufloria Flower Choreography (830k)
Farm Machine Music (3.7M)
"Favorite Things"
Revised For Retired People
Fender Bender
Fiddle Duet (3.9M)
First Performance
Fleas
NaviDogs Wanna Wish You A Merry Christmas!
FM Hits 4U
Fractured Christmas Carols & Songs
Freudian Slips
Geek Piano
Genie Awards: General Entertainment - Not In English
Ghetto Boom Box
Going For Gold
The Golden Violin
Guinness World-1st Record - Solo Handbells Marathon
Guitar Throne
Hallelujah Chorus: Wrong-Key Organist (670k)
Hand Signing Puzzle - "Feeling Music"
Handbell Registration - Union Members
Need Not Apply
Handbell Solo Performance - Promo Tour
High Strung Violinist
High-Wire Act Violin
Holiday Songs for the Disturbed
Home For Blind Carol Singers
Homer Song
Hooked On Classics by the Horn Guy (2.8M)
Hospital Hit Parade Songs
How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?
How To Live A Long & Happy Life
(2.5M)
How To Solve 4:00 AM Loud Noise Problems
Hymns For All Occasions
Hymns For The Over 50 Crowd
I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas
Jingle Cats' White Christmas (5.9M)
Juggler Plays Piano With Bouncing Balls (2.1M)
Karaoke For The Deaf (3.3M)
Kids Song Lyrics
Largest Fiddle In The World?
Leroy, The Redneck Reindeer
Like This
"Line" Dancers
Line Dancing - High Wire Version
Little Johnny's First Church Service
Liver &
Spleen Lecture
Lost Bouquet
Mandolin Builder
Mannequin Cello
Mennonites Don't Like Symphony
Music
Michael
Jackson in 2015
Michael
Jackson Joe-ks
Michael Jackson's Latest Surgery (420k)
Michael Jackson Likes
29 Year Olds?
Michael
Jackson On The Run OJ Style
Minipops Quiz
(ANSWERS)
Miss Bea
Mom's The Word (2.3M)
mondegreens
Mozart in Africa
Mr. Silent Killer Gas Passer - Real Men of Genius (900k)
Music Illusion
Musical Forks
Musical Spoons
Musical Throne
Musician Joe-ks - In Score Order
My Cubicle (2.6M)
New Musical
Instrument Invented!
New Rolling Stones Guitarist
Newfie DVD Rewinder
No NHL? Yule Have To Spend More Time With Your Wife (2.5M)
Noisy Neighbours
Non-Fraternizing Musician
Norvegian Groaners
Nun-Sense @ the Airport
Nutcracker Suite - Chinese Version
Organ Transplant
Oscar Wilde Quotes
Palestinian Theme Song
Pawano Lessons
Phrase Codes from Past Years
Pianist's Challenge
Piano Dog
Piano Mover
Piano Movers a la Motorcycle
Playing Through - The Dedicated
Bagpipe Player
People Who Can't Dance (5.4M)
The Perks of Being 60
Plumber's Party
Practical Joe-ks
Primitive Christmas Carol
Redneck Beer Drinker
(420k)
Redneck Christmas Carols (1.8M)
Redneck Genealogy Lesson (5.0M)
Redneck Wind Chimes
Restless Natives
Saddam's
Surgery
Safe Seat Belt
Saskatchewan Wind Chimes
Secret
Behind the "Twelve Days of Christmas" Song
Self Defense While Working Alone At Night
Shutting
Down The Neighbour's Loud Music
Singing Gynecologist
Signs Of The Times
Smooth Leaning Shoes
Solar Ghetto Power
Songs For The Pastor
The Sound of Aging
Star Wars Day
State Mental Choir
Stereo Bike
Stevie Wonder's Jazz Chord
String Quartet 4U
Stunt City (5.2M)
Sumo Ballerina
Surround Sound for Babies
Swinging Nightclubs of 2004
Symphony Bass
Take That - Personal Insults du Jour
Teddy Bear Dance (2.6M)
That's No More, Eh?
That's Not A Bagpipe!
Third Fiddle
Toe Jam Guitar
(2.6M)
Tom Lee Music - Franchise
Opportunities
Top Country Songs
Triple Blade
Razor for Terrorist Conversion
Tuna Fish
Ultimate PC Home Entertainment Center
Unwanted Choir Singer
Useful Work
Victor Borge Quotes
Violinists Suing: More Money for More Notes
Walking In A Doggie Wonderland
Water Music
We Wish You A Merry Christmas (1.5M)
Weeweechu
Time
We're Off to See the Wizard!
What Will I Wear For Court Today?
Whys -
Things That Make You Go 'Hmmmmm?'
Wisdom From Elders
World's Best Trained Dog (4.4M)
World's Worst
Rock Band Names
Wrench-ing
Dog Story
Yesterday - Computer Version
Young Yodeler (4.2M)
You're So Vane!
