Music Joe-ks
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Largest Source of Internet Humour!

Playing By Note: Learning to play the piano by note instead of by ear. Thirty-six payments on the note and the piano is yours to learn to play.

If we would only send young American tenors to stud abroad, they would return immensely improved.
Montovani? They play Montovani to insomniacs that don't respond to strong drugs.
Rock: The kind of music no matter what notes you play, wrong sounds the same.
Why did Little Johnny get sent from his music class to the principal's office?
What do you get when you cross a string quartet with a chocolate dessert?
If everyone in the choir is singing the same note, where is the harmony?
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
What do you call two bees, a hornet, and a wasp that play violins?
Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.
Did you hear about the musician who wrote all his music in bed?
What do you call a tuba quartet that plays at construction sites?
Conductor: The musician most likely to get struck by lightning.
Why did the piano teacher chase the elephant with a feather?
'I have to sing a run of eighth notes,' said Tom quaveringly.
It's hard to be fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello.
Did you hear about the composer who only worked in bed?
'Who's your favourite operatic tenor?' Tom asked placidly.
The all-girl orchestra was rather weak in the bras section.
Musician: Someone who makes a living by playing around.
Why couldn't the music teacher get into the classroom?
Soprano: A woman with smooth sailing on the high C's.
What musical instrument appears on a Guinness label?
Why did the soloist turn her back on the school band?
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
What Star Wars movie features a classical composer?
The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen.
Why must you be in good shape to become a singer?
Violinist: A man who is always up to his chin in music.
Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.
What did the composer who only worked in bed do?
Music Teacher's Sign: Out Chopin - Bach in a minuet.
Why does the navy recruit so many opera singers?
What large instrument do you carry in your ears?
It's taken me all my life to learn what not to play
What instrument does a lighthouse keeper play?
Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.
Why is the cello the easiest instrument to make?
What do truck drivers do when the music starts?
What vegetable keeps the best musical rhythm?
Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
Sleep: An excellent way of listening to an opera.
What happens to a harp when its strings break?
What did the musician bring to the music store?
Why was the opera singer kicked out of class?
What you are if you don't take piano lessons...
Where do strawberries play their saxophones?
Did you hear about the constipated musician?
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
Did you hear about the constipated musician?
What instrument do lighthouse keepers play?
Which composer wrote a delicate symphony?
Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
Some music stores are in a CD part of town.
Music: Moonlight in the gloomy night of life.
Unaccompanied: The orchestra is on strike.
What instrument do proud Scotsmen play?
What would happen if a piano fell on you?
I march to the beat of my own accordion.
First Music Score:  Beethoven: 7,  Bach: 3
What furniture is the most entertaining?
What kind of bones are in an orchestra?
Did you hear about the slow composer?
Why are locksmiths such good singers?
What kind of nets are in an orchestra?
What kind of musician can't you trust?
Violator: A person who plays the viola.
Why is playing Spanish guitar so easy?
Why is a slippery sidewalk like music?
Who are the cleanest opera singers?
What game is played by musicians?
Why was the music teacher absent?
“Elvis is dead,” said Tom expressly.
He thinks Meow Mix is a CD for cats.
Which planet is the most musical?
How does the sky listen to music?
What do you call male ballerinas?
What do you call a tuba's father?
How did the corn do in the band?
Organ: A large upright bagpipe.
What's a pig's favourite ballet?
Why are pianos hard to open?
Minnesinger: Harmonic minor.
Was Handel a crank?
Where do musicians live?
Why are pianos hard to open?
What kind of music is painful?
How do you fix a broken tuba?
Humbug: A singing cockroach.
Trumpet Teacher: Tooter tutor.
Music Industry Meets On Drugs
What do you call musical insects?
What kind of music do welders dance to?
Where do you get extra credit for passing notes in school?
Why didn’t Little Johnny hurt himself when he fell and struck the piano?


(click on the thumbnail images below to expand to full size)
Nintendo Guitar


Back Bard


BTTF II Car


Headset Warning


Break Dance Soccer


Madness in London


Odori-Don Dance


Barthoven


Guitar Farm


Playing Mantis


Frog Waltz


Windmill Guitar


Family Music


Football Stickman  (2.2M)


Bird Trio


Marx Brothers Piano Duet


Apple Doubles Up On Its IT


Squirrel Bagpipes


“Madness” On A Roll


Frohe Weihnachten!


Baby Bird Chorus


Next Season on “Dancing with the Stars”


Elton or Eltoff?


Young Rock Star


LiverPool


Bach Scratching


Forgotten Photos


Vuvuzela Hits


Abbey Road


Air Guitar


Digideroo Joe


Owlvis Presley


Like This


BachScratcher


Organ Transplant


You're So Vane!


Mannequin Cello


Third Fiddle


Cat Fish


Smooth Leaning Shoes


Artistic COPs


Musical Spoons


Deaf Car


Safe Seat Belt


Stereo Bike


Boom Box Car


Mozart in Africa


Amplified Truck


Guitar Throne


Water Music


A Picture Of Me In The Shower


Surround Sound for Babies


Fender Bender


First Performance


Geek Piano


Back Peddling Violinist


Solar Ghetto Power


Plumber's Party


Pawano Lessons


Musical Forks


Music Illusion


Pianist's Challenge - Piano Lessons for Adult Nerds


El Maestro & the Talented Animalicians


Piano Dog


Piano Movers a la Motorcycle


12 Days of Christmas - Cost of True Love for 2004
12 Days of Christmas - Gifts By Mail
18th Century History by College Students
1970s Rock Groups
1st Modern Church  (3.1M)
42
A Day of Mourning for Hokey Pokey Fans
A Picture Of Me In The Shower
Abbey Road
Aging Rock Music
Air Guitar
Amplified Truck
Apple Doubles Up On Its IT
Art Show
Artistic COPs
Baby Bird Chorus
Bach Scratching
BachScratcher
Back Bard
Back Peddling Violinist
Backwards Country Song
Bad Timing for a Cymbal Wakeup Call
Bald Rabbits
Barthoven
Beer Bottle Orchestra  (2.1M)
Beethoven's Favourite Fruit Symphony
Beginning Piano Lessons
The Beijing Olympics Fakebook
Best Panhandler  (3.8M)
Best String Quartet In The World!
Biker's Last Request
Bird Trio
Blow Dryer for the Shower?
Boom Box Car
Born To Dance & 'Cat'ch the Wave!
Break Dance Soccer
Breakfast Dance - Shakin' Bacon  (3.0M)
Breast Implant Breakthrough
Brittany Speers - a Hooter?
BrokeBack Ballet
BTTF II Car
Buddhist Choir of B.C. Sings for the Dalai Lama
Car Stereo Without The Car
Cat Fish
CCR Misheard Lyrics  (4.5M)
Choir On Tour
Christmas Laser Light Show  (5.0M)
Christmas Music Composer Puns
Christmas Pizza
Chronic Coughers
Church Hymns by Word Association
Clarinet Solution for Lena's Singing
Claude Cooper's Clean Copper Clappers  (2.1M)
Clearly Good Intentions
Colorectal Surgeon Praise
Computer Saxophone - Pretty Saxy!
Dance Off Competition  (3.4M)
Deaf Car
Digideroo Joe
El Maestro & the Talented Animalicians
Electrician's Christmas Hymn
Elephant Blues
Elton or Eltoff?
Eufloria Flower Choreography  (830k)
Family Music
Farm Machine Music  (3.7M)
"Favorite Things" Revised For Retired People
Fender Bender
Fiddle Duet  (3.9M)
First Performance
Fleas NaviDogs Wanna Wish You A Merry Christmas!
Football Stickman  (2.2M)
Forgotten Photos
Fractured Christmas Carols & Songs
Freudian Slips
Frog Waltz
Frohe Weihnachten!
Geek Piano
Genie Awards: General Entertainment - Not In English
Ghetto Boom Box
Going For Gold
The Golden Violin
Guinness World-1st Record - Solo Handbells Marathon
Guitar Farm
Guitar Throne
Hallelujah Chorus: Wrong-Key Organist  (670k)
Hand Signing Puzzle - "Feeling Music"
Handbell Registration - Union Members Need Not Apply
Handbell Solo Performance - Promo Tour
Headset Warning
High Strung Violinist
High-Wire Act Violin
Home Alone 2003
Holiday Songs for the Disturbed
Home For Blind Carol Singers
Homer Song
Hooked On Classics by the Horn Guy  (2.8M)
Hospital Hit Parade Songs
How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?
How To Live A Long & Happy Life  (2.5M)
How To Solve 4:00 AM Loud Noise Problems
Hymns For All Occasions
Hymns For The Over 50 Crowd
I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas
Jingle Cats' White Christmas  (5.9M)
Juggler Plays Piano With Bouncing Balls  (2.1M)
Karaoke For The Deaf  (3.3M)
Kids Song Lyrics
Largest Fiddle In The World?
Leroy, The Redneck Reindeer
Like This
"Line" Dancers
Line Dancing - High Wire Version
Little Johnny's First Church Service
Liver & Spleen Lecture
LiverPool
Lost Bouquet
Madness in London
“Madness” On A Roll
Mandolin Builder
Mannequin Cello
Marx Brothers Piano Duet  (7.1M)
Mennonites Don't Like Symphony Music
Michael Jackson Joe-ks
Michael Jackson's Latest Surgery  (420k)
Minipops Quiz  (ANSWERS)
Miss Bea
Mom's The Word  (2.3M)
mondegreens
Mozart in Africa
Mr. Silent Killer Gas Passer - Real Men of Genius  (900k)
Music Illusion
Musical Forks
Musical Spoons
Musical Throne
Musician Joe-ks - In Score Order
My Cubicle  (2.6M)
New Musical Instrument Invented!
New Rolling Stones Guitarist
Newfie DVD Rewinder
Next Season on “Dancing with the Stars”
Nintendo Guitar
No NHL? Yule Have To Spend More Time With Your Wife  (2.5M)
Noisy Neighbours
Non-Fraternizing Musician
Norvegian Humour
Nun-Sense @ the Airport
Nutcracker Suite - Chinese Version
Odori-Don Dance  (4.2M) 
Organ Transplant
Oscar Wilde Quotes
Owlvis Presley
Palestinian Theme Song
Pawano Lessons
Phrase Codes from Past Years
Pianist's Challenge
Piano Dog
Piano Mover
Piano Movers a la Motorcycle
Playing Mantis
Playing Through - The Dedicated Bagpipe Player
People Who Can't Dance  (5.4M)
The Perks of Being 60
Plumber's Party
Pole Safety
Practical Joe-ks
Primitive Christmas Carol
Redneck Beer Drinker  (420k)
Redneck Christmas Carols  (1.8M)
Redneck Genealogy Lesson  (5.0M)
Redneck Wind Chimes
Restless Natives
Safe Seat Belt
Saskatchewan Wind Chimes
Secret Behind the "Twelve Days of Christmas" Song
Self Defense While Working Alone At Night
Shutting Down The Neighbour's Loud Music
Singing Gynecologist
Signs Of The Times
Smooth Leaning Shoes
Solar Ghetto Power
Songs For The Pastor
The Sound of Aging
Squirrel Bagpipes
Star Wars Day
State Mental Choir
Stereo Bike
Stevie Wonder's Jazz Chord
String Quartet 4U
Stunt City  (5.2M)
Sumo Ballerina
Surround Sound for Babies
Swinging Nightclubs of 2004
Symphony Bass
Take That - Personal Insults du Jour
Teddy Bear Dance  (2.6M)
That's No More, Eh?
That's Not A Bagpipe!
Third Fiddle
Toe Jam Guitar  (2.6M)
Tom Lee Music - Franchise Opportunities
Top Country Songs
Triple Blade Razor for Terrorist Conversion
Tuna Fish
Ultimate PC Home Entertainment Center
Unwanted Choir Singer
Useful Work
Victor Borge Quotes
Violinists Suing: More Money for More Notes
Vuvuzela Hits
Walking In A Doggie Wonderland
Water Music
We Wish You A Merry Christmas  (1.5M)
Weeweechu Time
We're Off to See the Wizard!
What Will I Wear For Court Today?
Whys - Things That Make You Go 'Hmmmmm?'
Windmill Guitar
Wisdom From Elders
World's Best Trained Dog  (4.4M)
World's Worst Rock Band Names
Wrench-ing Dog Story
Yesterday - Computer Version
Young Rock Star
Young Yodeler  (4.2M)
You're So Vane!

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