Phrases, Clichés, Expressions & Sayings
~ D ~

______________________________________________________________________________

Dark horse
 
Meaning: An unknown quantity; a person/thing whose qualities are untried.
Example: Never having been previously seeded in the Wimbledon Cup, young Agassiz was the dark horse of the tennis match.
Origin: This expression goes back to Benjamin Disraeli who, apart from finding time to regularly become Prime Minister, also found time to write a novel called, "The Young Duke". In the book, there is a description of a horse race in which the two favourites cannot make the running. In the meanwhile, "a dark horse" rushed past the grandstand in a sweeping triumph.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dead as a door nail
 
Meaning: Actual or apparent total lack of life.
Example: You might as well junk that car, the engine is dead as a door nail.
Origin: Nails were once hand tooled and costly. When an aging cabin or barn was torn down the valuable nails would be salvaged so he could reuse them in later construction.

When building a door however, carpenters often drove the nail through then bent it over the other end so it couldn't work its way out during the repeated opening and closing of the door. When it came time to salvage the building, these door nails were considered useless, or "dead" because of the bend.

Alternative: Medieval doors were studded with heavy nails - Doornails, one of which was used as a knocker. This nail was clearly very unresponsive and dead to the constant assault, hence the saying.

Alternative: This may also be an example of an alliterative (the use of like consonants in neighboring words to create a sort of rhyme).

___________________________________________________________________________________

Dead ringer
 
Meaning: To look like someone else.
Example: She told me I was dead ringer for the Joe-kster. Is that good?
Origin: The definition of ringer, from which this phrase comes, is "substituted racehorse."

Unscrupulous racehorse owners have a fast horse and a slow horse that are nearly identical in appearance. They run the slow horse until the betting odds reached the desired level, then they substitute the ringer, who can run much faster. Dead in this case means abrupt or exact, like in dead stop, or dead shot.

Alternative: Gangsters with contracts on their lives might hire a person who looked similar to them, a ringer, to appear in a public places. The lookalike would often be convincing enough to fool the contracted killers, you can guess the part about dead.

Alternative: Refers to a ringer in the game of horse shoes. A perfect toss, with the horse shoe landing perfectly around the pin, is called a ringer. A ringer usually makes a ringing sound when the shoe hits the post. You can get a ringer if the shoe encompasses the post, but doesn't hit the post and doesn't make a ringing sound, hence a “dead ringer.” A throw that results in a dead ringer is a perfect and precise throw exactly on the post, analogous to a perfect lookalike match.

Alternative: Before we knew what a coma even was, people that were thought to be dead were buried and then sometimes awakened. So when they buried them they put a rod into the ground with a string attached to a bell at the top of the rod. If the person awakened they rang they pulled the string and the bell rang at the top of the rod. There were always men on duty in the graveyard with shovels in case they ever heard a “Dead Ringer”. They would shout out, “We have a Dead Ringer!” and dig them back up. Thanks to Kurtis L. Bubier, Cedar Pines Park California.

Best alternate: A "dead ringer" is someone who can't cut it in the Joe-kster's handbell choir!

___________________________________________________________________________________

Debug
 
Meaning: Bug: An unexpected defect, fault, flaw, or imperfection. Debug: What computer programmers do to track down errors in computer programs - they debug their programs.
Example: Trying to debug his C computer program for a memory leak proved to be much easier for Little Johnny than debugging his windshield.
Origin: On September 9, 1945, operators looking for the cause of a malfunction in Harvard University's Mark II Aiken Relay Calculator discovered a moth trapped in a relay. The operators taped the moth to the computer log with the entry: “First actual case of bug being found”. Although Thomas Edison had earlier coined the term 'bug' as early as 1878 for system flaws, this was the origin of the terms 'debug' and “debugging a computer program”.

Use of the word “bug” as a term for “fault” may have been used as early as the 14th century to mean “an object of dread” derived from the Welsh word “bwg” for “hobgoblin”. Webster's Collegiate Dictionary cites it as meaning “an unexpected defect, fault, flaw or imperfection” with origins reaching back as far as 1622 (certainly not referring to computers as we know them today).

Picture of the “World’s First Computer Bug
World’s First Computer Bug” in a Sudoku Puzzle
Computer Bug Removal

___________________________________________________________________________________

December
 
Meaning: The twelfth month of the Julian and Gregorian calendars.
Example:
Origin: The month “December” came from the Latin word for “tenth” since it was the tenth month of the Roman year. December in the Julian calendar had 29 days prior to 45 BC, and 31 days as of 45 BC.

The Julian calendar was in general use in Europe and Northern Africa from the times of the Roman Empire until 1582, when Pope Gregory XIII started the Gregorian calendar.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Deep Six
 
Meaning: To remove something incriminating in a secretive manner.
Example: She deep-sixed last term's report card with a failing mark in Math.
Origin: Whereas one might “86” an unneeded internal memo, one would “deep-six” an incriminating one. The term may have derived from navigation in earlier centuries, where anything more than 6 fathoms (36 feet / 11m) deep under water was unlikely to be recovered.

Alternative: This term relates to burial at sea - that 6 fathoms was the legal minimum depth for the body to be immersed.

See aslo: Trivia Section

______________________________________________________________________________

Devil to pay
 
Meaning: To have a great deal of difficulty to access something.
Example:
Origin: This phrase has nothing to do with the Devil or money. It is part of a longer saying, "The devil to pay, and no pitch hot". The "devil" is the heavy wooden beam used to support the big guns on sailing ships. It was also known as the Gunwale and was a very difficult place to get at for maintenance with the tar (pitch) needed to regularly seal (pay) the gaps in the ship's sides. From this difficulty comes another related saying "Between the devil and the deep blue sea", the devil here again being the wooden beam.

______________________________________________________________________________

Devil's Advocate
 
Meaning: To present an alternative opinion - someone who, given a certain argument, takes a position he or she does not necessarily agree with, for the sake of debate
Example: How to Play Devil's Advocate
Origin: This phrase comes from the Roman Catholic Church. When deciding if someone should be sainted, a devil's advocate is always appointed to give an alternative view.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Dicey situation
 
Meaning: Risky, potentially dangerous.
Example: Bush put himself in a dicey situation by entering Iraq.
Origin: Many betting games of chance, like craps, are played with dice. The phrase refers to the risk and uncertainty of those games.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Dick Head
 
Meaning: Ever wonder where the term 'Dick head' came from?
Origin: Further Reference: Dick head

______________________________________________________________________________

Dirt poor
 
Meaning: Reference to poor people.
Example: Some consider the poor people of America to be very hard done by when in fact most live like kings compared to the dirt poor people of the Medieval Ages.
Origin: In the 1500s, the floor of the common people's houses was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying, "dirt poor."

Further Reference: The 1500s

______________________________________________________________________________

Do something gingerly
 
Meaning: To do something with caution.
Example:
Origin: "Ginger" has nothing to do with the vegetable "ginger" but probably has an origin in the Old French word 'genzor', the comparative form of 'gent,' meaning 'delicate.' There are other theories, including one that it comes from the Icelandic by way of Swedish but no one accepts the vegetable origin.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dog days
 
Meaning: The days in high summer when it's too hot even for dogs
Example:
Origin: In mid summer the dog-star Sirius rises with the Sun. The Romans believed that the star also gave out heat and was thus partly responsible for the hottest time of the year, hence Dog-days.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dog in a manger
 
Meaning: To be a spoilsport; to be unwilling to let others benefit when self benefit is not possible.
Example:
Origin: In Aesop's fables, a dog occupies an ox's manger. The manger is full of hay, for which the dog has no use; never-the-less he refuses to let the ox get at its fodder.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dog tired
 
Meaning: To be exhausted or extremely tired.
Example: Dog Tired After Work
Origin: Dog tired (usually hyphenated to dog-tired) is an old English phrase meaning to be physically exhausted. It’s derived from an old tale of Alfred the Great who used to send his sons out with his kennels of hunting dogs. Whichever of his sons (Athelbrod or Edwin) were able to catch more of the hounds would gain their father’s right hand side at the dinner table that evening. These chases would leave them “dog-tired” yet merry at their victory. The tradition was continued for a few generations but is not noted in literature after Bede’s Ecclesiastical History of the English People. Thanks to Wiktionary.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dog watch
 
Meaning: Method to ensure that the same men do not do the same watch every day.
Example:
Origin: The dog-watch was the pair of two hour afternoon shifts put into the normal sequence of four hourly stints in order to ensure that the same men did not do the same watch every day. In this way they dodged around or the shifts were docked.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dog's breakfast
 
Meaning: A mess, vomit.
Example: I tried my hand at oil painting but the results ended up looking like a dog's breakfast.
Origin: Dogs are known to eat vomit. Further, dog food prepared by humans tends to be a random mix of different things together and actually often looks somewhat like vomit. The phrase is a reference to the appearance of what dogs eat.

______________________________________________________________________________

Donkey's years
 
Meaning: A long while; a lengthy period.
Example:
Origin: This expression comes from the original parallel between "a long time" being likened to being as "long as donkey's ears". A slurring of pronunciation resulted in the present form, first recorded in 1916.

______________________________________________________________________________

Don't count your chickens before they hatch
 
Meaning: Don't count on profits before you earn them or have them in hand.
Example:
Origin: Aesop once wrote about a woman carrying a basket of eggs. In her mind she figured how much she would get for the chickens when the eggs hatched and exactly how she would spend the money. She got so excited, she dropped her basket. Every egg smashed. Today we use this fable to warn people not be confident of getting a result, realizing an ambition, or making a profit before it actually happens.

______________________________________________________________________________

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth
 
Meaning: Do not be critical of a gift.
Example: Okay, so the '70 Gremlin grandma gave you is not your idea of a babe magnet, but it was free - so don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Origin: Horses have gum lines that recede with age. Hence older horses have longer teeth than young horses.

To "look a horse in the mouth" is to examine the horse's mouth closely to determine its age (and therefore its usefulness and/or worth). To immediately judge a gift based on its worth or usefulness rather than the "thought" behind it considered rude, and ungrateful (it is a gift after all, and didn't cost the receiver anything).

The phrase is apparently quite old, a Latin version of it appeared in a work by St. Jerome in 420 AD, and it also exists in many languages. An Early english version (1510 AD) appears in John Standbridge's "Vulgari Standbrigi": "A gyuen hors may not (be) loked in the tethe."

An older horse's teeth would be ground down from all the chewing. If the teeth were ground down, the animal would be less likely to be able to ingest enough food. In the wild, for many older herbivores death comes from malnutrition due to this inability to chew enough food. A person would look in the horse's mouth to see the amount of wear, and the subsequent age.

Apparently, there are also several other things that happen. One is that younger horses actually have more teeth. Another is that there is a certain age range (like 6-10 years) where the teeth actually have some circular bands. After this age range, the bands are worn away.

Hence you can tell a lot about a horse from inspection of the teeth.

Related phrase: "Long in the tooth".

______________________________________________________________________________

Don't poke the bear
 
Meaning: Don't annoy someone who's already irritated; try not to aggravate someone who's easily angered.
Example: If you don't want to hear your father shout, don't poke the bear.
Origin: Thanks to Pamela Walker.

______________________________________________________________________________

Don't pull my leg
 
Meaning: A request to have someone stop playing a joe-ks; to stop telling lies/fibs and to tell the truth.
Example: Gwen wanted to hear the truth from him, so she asked him to stop pulling her leg.
Origin: The modern version of this expression conjures a sense of good humour about the whole concept, but its origins were not of good humour. The origin is found in a Scottish rhyme in which "draw" is used in the sense of "pull" rather than the word itself:
"He preached, and at last drew the auld body's leg,
Sae the Kirk got the gatherins o' our Aunty Meg."

The suggestion in the rhyme is that Aunty Meg was hung for a crime and, at the end, the preacher pulled on her legs to ensure that she was dead. The American usage suggests more of a feeling of trickery and deception.

______________________________________________________________________________

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water
 
Meaning: Don't throw away good, tried methods (which have worked for a long time) when you come up with doing something in a new way.
Example: Management was eager to implement their 32nd Mission Statement and drastic company change - they were ready to throw the baby out with the bath water.
Origin: In the 1500s, most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children - last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Further Reference: The 1500s

______________________________________________________________________________

Dot your 'i's and cross your 't's
 
Meaning: Complete the job paying attention to the details.
Example: Your instructor is a tough grader, be sure to dot your 'i's and cross your 't's on your research.
Origin: When writing, many people complete a word before returning to dot the 'i's and cross the 't's. Someone in a rush might neglect to complete the task. The phrase has been extended to any job, not just writing.

Crossing the T has also become a naval term. A naval engagement fought in the Surigao Straight during the Battle of Leyte Gulf, which is in the Philippines, illustrates crossing the T. That battle (Leyte Gulf) marked the end of the Japanese navy.

It was also the strangest naval battle in the war. Both sides were totally confused as to the disposition of enemy forces and both commanders made mistakes that seriously jeopardized their objectives. Admirals Kincaid and Halsey had the advantage of numbers and luck and won out.

Warships of the era had guns mounted in turrets distributed over the ship. Their ability to fire in the direction the ship is pointed is limited to the front most turrets, rendering the remaining guns useless for firing forward. However when firing perpendicular to the ship, all turrets can be rotated and used.

The Japanese ships were caught in a single file line. The United States ships were positioned at the head of the line in a T fashion. This formation is known as crossing the T in military circles.

Having crossed the T, the U.S. ships could point all the ship's guns towards the Japanese ships making it easy to fire on them. The Japanese ships had the considerable disadvantage of having to fire straight ahead.

______________________________________________________________________________

Doubting Thomas
 
Meaning: Requiring physical proof before believing in something.
Example: Harry's a real doubting Thomas - he never listens to any good advice from his wife.
Origin: Saint Thomas was one of the Twelve Apostles of Christ. He is best known for requiring physical proof of Jesus' Resurrection before he could believe it, hence the phrase “Doubting Thomas.” When Jesus reappeared and had Thomas touch his wounds, Thomas became the first person to explicitly acknowledge Jesus' divinity, saying “My Lord and my God.”

______________________________________________________________________________

Down in the mouth
 
Meaning: To be depressed or sad.
Example: I've been feeling a bit down in the mouth lately. I realize that I haven't received any real bad joe-ks for at least 10 minutes.
Origin: In all cultures and throughout history sad persons have had the corners of their mouth turned down in what is the recognized symbol of sadness, the frown. "Down in the mouth" refers to the down turned corners of the mouth.

______________________________________________________________________________

Down the hatch
 
Meaning: Drink or eat.
Example: Enough talk, let's put some food down the hatch.
Origin: Here's a drinking expression that seems to have its origins in sea freight, where cargoes are lowered into the hatch for transport below deck. The freight appears to be consumed by the ship.

______________________________________________________________________________

Down to the gnat's ass
 
Meaning: Extremely thorough, specified or completed to a high level of detail.
Example: Felix cleaned his apartment right down to the gnat's ass.
Origin: Gnats are very small flying insects, as such they have extremely small backsides. Anything specified to a level as fine as a gnat's ass is indeed very detailed.

______________________________________________________________________________

Down to the short strokes
 
Meaning: Approaching the end of a long process.
Example: Building a house is a long ordeal. Just when you think you are down to the short strokes, something unexpected comes up.
Origin: When a golfer begins at the tee, he hits the ball towards the green by driving, or using a long stroke. When the ball is on the green, he must get the ball in the hole by putting - or taking "short" strokes.

A painter begins on a clean canvas using large and broad strokes of the brush. As the painting progresses the brush strokes become shorter and finer as detail is filled into the painting.

______________________________________________________________________________

Down to the wire
 
Meaning: Undecided until the end, at the last minute
Example: We almost missed our flight, it came right down to the wire. The traffic on the way to the Vancouver airport was gross, and we had to run to our gate.
Origin: This phrase refers to races where the winner is determined by whoever crosses the finish line first. Think of horse racing and foot races. A string is stretched across the finish to help the judges see clearly who crosses first in a close race. That string is called the wire or tape, the winner is the one who breaks the wire first.

The "wire" is actually string, tape, or paper and not a metal wire at all. No need to be concerned about those horses tripping and getting themselves caught in the wire. Hence "down to the wire" means the event is not decided until the very end of the event.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dragging your feet
 
Meaning: Not keeping up with everyone else in something you're doing.
Example: I should have washed my car but I dragged my feet about it all day.
Origin: One of the earliset references to this phrase can be found in the Ninth Book of Homer's Odysseys (George Chapman, 1857): "But, dragging them to fleet, I wrapt in sure bands both their hands and feet, and cast them under hatches, and away commanded all the rest without least stay..."

Alternative: The Battle with the Slum, "Justice to the Boy" by Jacob A. Riis (1902): "And justice to Jacob is being evolved. Not yet without obstruction and dragging of feet."

Alternative: A Happy Boy, Harvard Classics Shelf of Fiction by Björnstjerne Björnson (1917): “Be quick now!” said the grandfather up on the slope. And Marit rose and walked up after him with dragging feet."

Alternative: The skeleton (originally called tobogganing) was invented in St. Moritz, Switzerland in the late 19th Century. Used in the 1928 and 1948 Winter Olympic Games, steering was accomplished by shifting weight or dragging the feet.

______________________________________________________________________________

Draw the line
 
Meaning: Define a threshold that can't be crossed without action or retaliation.
Example: You can leave your pet skunk outside, but I draw the line at bringing it inside the house.
Origin: Comes from one of the Psalms which contains a reference about "drawing a line in the sand" meaning to "proceed no further." It has been shortened to "draw the line."

______________________________________________________________________________

Dressed to a tea
 
Meaning: Well dressed with attention to detail.
Example: Beware any salesman that is dressed to a tea, smiles too much, and talks fast.
Origin: A short way of saying "dressed for a tea" or "dressed to go to a tea". In the Victorian era, high tea was a formal affair. All proper people dressed in appropriate attire.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dressed to the nines
 
Meaning: Dressed flamboyantly, dressed well.
Example: New years eve is the one day of the year when people like to go out dressed to the nines.
Origin: Common lore has it that a tailor making a high quality suit uses more fabric. The best suits are made from nine yards of fabric.

This may seem like a lot but a proper suit does indeed take nine yards of fabric. This is because a god suit has all the fabric cut in the same direction with the warp, or long strands of thread, parallel with the vertical line of the suit. This causes a great amount of waste in suit making, but if you want to go "dressed to the nines", you must pay for such waste.

Alternative: The meaning is drawn from the phrase "the whole nine yards" which has come to mean a complete high quality job without cutting corners.;

Alternative: This saying originated in Shakespeare's time and is connected with the price a person had to pay for theater tickets depending on where their seats were located. The farthest seats were one pence and the ones closest to the stage were nine pence. If you sat in the expensive seats you would feel obliged to dress up so as not to look out of place with the other wealthy patrons.

______________________________________________________________________________

Drive carefully
 
Meaning: Drive carefully!
Example: All teenage drivers get irritated with their parents constantly reminding them to drive carefully.
Origin: Norwegian "farvel" means "travel well (safe)". A modern version would be "drive carefully".

______________________________________________________________________________

Drive someone doolally
 
Meaning: To drive someone mad.
Example: His walk across the Sahara Desert was enough to drive him doolally - next time he planned to use Rent-A-Camel.
Origin: After a tour of duty, British troops in India were sent back to Britain for redeployment. Troopships were the means of transport and the troops were sent to the appropriate port to await the arrival of the ship. There they had to wait, often for weeks, in the heat and humidity. They were nearly driven mad by boredom. The port was called Deolali which became Anglicised and used as a term of semi-abuse.

Alternative: A large "lunatic asylum" in Deolali may have played a role in the evolution of the phrase.

Alternative: "Deo" in Urdu means "Devil", and "Lal" means "Red".

______________________________________________________________________________

Drop a dime
 
Meaning: Make a phone call.
Example: Don't be such a stranger. Drop a dime some time.
Origin: This is a good phrase to discuss with anyone born after 1970. Pay phones cost 35 cents today, but they really did cost 10 cents at one time. The dime was dropped into the slot of the pay phone.

Along similar lines is "to spend a penny" which in the U.K. means to use the toilet. The penny refers to the price of admission to a public pay toilet.

______________________________________________________________________________

Drop the hammer
 
Meaning: To kill someone.
Example: During the Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka trial, the big question was not his guilt but if the jury would drop the hammer and call for the death penalty.
Origin: The "hammer" is the hammer of a gun. When the gun is cocked, the hammer has been pulled back. Pulling the trigger drops the hammer onto the cartridge, firing the gun.

Popularized by the seemingly tireless stream of police dramas on television.

______________________________________________________________________________

Drum up support
 
Meaning: Obtain, summon support or interest; recruiting.
Example:
Origin: A military term which described the custom of recruiting parties marching into town and announcing their arrival with fife and drum. Their duty was described as Drumming up recruits.

Alternative: To make a meal or a drink - from tramps' slang derived from the Romany 'drom' (highway), where tramps would normally take their refreshment.

______________________________________________________________________________

Ducking in and out of traffic

______________________________________________________________________________

Ducks in a row
 
Meaning: To have things in order.
Example: If you don't get your ducks in a row, you will be replaced.
Origin: Baby ducklings swim in a straight line behind the mother duck. If the ducklings stray to far, the mother duck will get them back in line, that is get her ducks in a row.

Alternative: Contrary to popular belief this phrase has nothing to do with little yellow ducklings following their Mother duck all in a straight line. Landlubbers use the phrase to mean "get your business organized", but sailors know that this expression comes from the boatbuilding trade. Unbeknownst to a lot of people, a "duck" is a great big thing, bigger than your car that is so heavy that it has to be moved with a crane, and has jaws that open to make it a giant vise. The U.S. Navy (when building a new ship) lines up a number of ducks with a laser bean so that they are absolutely straight in a line; then the beginning piece of the new boat (the keel) is clamped in. The ducks hold the keel perfectly straight so the ship will be absolutely square athwart and fore-an-aft when it is being constructed. And so the first thing that is done in shipbuilding is to "get your ducks in a row".  Thanks to Byron Burson.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dunce
 
Meaning: Someone considered out of step.
Example:
Origin: The word dunce derives unfairly from Duns Scotus, a brilliant thirteenth-century Scottish philosopher who, along with his followers (who were called “Duns men”), resisted the thinking within the Renaissance that swept the Middle Ages. As unfair as the sight of a child in a conical dunce cap, Scotus was ridiculed for being different and for daring to express his own thoughts.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dutch treat
 
Meaning: Those invited to pay for themselves.
Example:
Origin: "Dutch Treat", "I'm a Dutchman" and "Dutch courage" come from the 17th century when the Dutch were hated military and commercial rivals of the English.

Examples: "Dutch reckoning" - a bill that is presented without any details, and which only gets bigger if you question it;
       "Dutch widow" - a prostitute;
       "Dutch auction" - one in which the prices go down instead of up;
       "Dutch courage: - temporary bravery induced by alcohol;
       "Dutch metal" - an alloy of copper and zinc used as a substitute for gold foil;
       "Dutch comfort" or "Dutch consolation" - where somebody might say "thank God it is no worse!";
       "Dutch concert" - each musician plays a different tune;
       "Dutch uncle" - someone who criticises or rebukes you with the frankness of a relative.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dyed in the wool
 
Meaning: An individual with fixed, dedicated, committed, uncompromising, deep felt beliefs.
Example: Jean Chretien was a dyed-in-the-wool Liberal. Why not, with all the patronage money to made in federal politics?
Origin: The phrase relates to the medieval method of adding dye to raw wool rather than to spun wool or finished cloth. The final colour was much more long lasting and deeply ingrained than dyeing at later stages of manufacture. If something is dyed-in-the-wool, it's unlikely to change.


Send your additions, corrections/typos or new phrases/clichés to joe-ks.com
Back to Clichés/Phrases Main Index
Fear Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
The Ultimate Phobia List - Real and Imagined
joe-ks.com - Newest

How you can reach out to paint your own portrait
Reaching Out For Your Own Portrait
Downplaying depression in a yoga relationship
Zen For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
A pun-e place to find polka dots
Poca Dots High School
Home schooling for a barn owl
Owl and Owlette
Vegetarian violence
Innocent Plants
When your cat has one less tail to tell
Refrigerator Magnet
'How much deeper do I go until the boat floats?'
Redneck Boat Ramp
Hunting, Texas Style:  where vehicles are bigger than the game!
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Famous last words
Lost Inheritance
Puzzling floor system
Escher Floor
When your home reno takes a tile for the worse
Tile House
Unique parking spaces in Europe
Shopping Cart Car
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

25-Oct-2014

QR Code

Top Joe-ks

Redneck Quotes
Mission Statement Gener ...
Phrases, Expressions & ...
Spring Flowers
Books Never Written
Autumn Tree
How To Draw An Owl
Chicken, Fox & Grain Pu ...
Phrases, Clichés, Expr ...
Daffynitions
3D Tattoo
Elastic Baby - Family S ...
Fortune Cookies - In Be ...
The Longest Word Using ...
Groucho Marx Quotes
Good Morning Babushka
Cat Joe-ks
Puzzle Joe-ks
'Do It' Professional Tr ...
Humour Archives @ joe-k ...
Redneck Boat Ramp
World's First Hybrid Mo ...
Pet Pig
Image Captions - Lookin ...
Texting Abbreviations f ...
Real Waterbed
Pumpkin Carvings
Pun-Dumb-Oh-nium
Can You Spot the Hidden ...
A Picture Of Me In The ...
Afghanistan Map
This Dog Otter Know Bet ...
Innocent Plants
Lost Inheritance
Motorcycle Side-Car
Moose Police
Hazardous Materials Dat ...
Vertical Roller Coaster ...
Coke Advertising Slogan ...
Waves of Hawaii
Halloween Flashers
Heart Attack Grill
Safety Joe-ks
Bonsai Fruit Tree
Sign Joe-ks
Riddles from joe-ks.com
Tile House
Bad Timing for a Cymbal ...
Find The Hidden Animals
His First Hot Rod
Dehydrated Water
Marriage Joe-ks
Religious Joe-ks
Stress Joe-ks
‘First’ Class Puns
Newlywed Joe-ks
Palindrome Joe-ks
Newspaper Bloopers
joe-ks.com's CRAPPy Acr ...
Anagram Joe-ks
Anniversary Joe-ks
Aptonym & Aptronym Joe- ...
Refrigerator Magnet
Owl and Owlette
Towel Dog
Chinese Shoelusion
Sign Model
Redneck 101 - How To Sp ...
Autumn Camouflage
Habs vs ReHabs
Unger Games
What’s That Smell?
Barber & Hairstyle Joe- ...
Farm Joe-ks
Friend Joe-ks
Trivia from joe-ks.com
Toll Booth Speed Limit
Excerpt from a Lion Coo ...
Sarah Palin's Vogue Mag ...
Learn Chinese In 5 Minu ...
Leg Art
Snowy Owl Substitute
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Puppy Wheels
WC Fields Quotes
Complete or Finished
I’ve Got Your Back
Tree Stand
China Assignment
How Men Think
New Man Group
Aging Joe-ks
Embassy Joe-ks
Inspiration Joe-ks
Language Joe-ks
Nationality Joe-ks
Ouch (Pain-full) Joe-ks
Murphy’s Law + ... Ru ...
Ponderous Points
Mexican Repair Shop
Useless Statistics
Environmental Protectio ...
Couch Ouch
Australian Sheep Farm - ...
Redneck Ceiling Tiles
Space Savers
Redneck Spaghetti
Old People Never Die, T ...
Alligator & Crocodile J ...
Entertaining Joe-ks
B.C. – Bathroom Commo ...
Escher Floor
Bug Backpack
Frog Food
Ultimate Manwich
Lizard Hairstyle
Oversize Load
Dog Birthday
Halloween Tree
Topless Kate Middleton
Military Joe-ks
Insults With Class
Niger River Crocodile
Mental Hospital Answeri ...
What Do You See? - Part ...
Tonto’s Horse Coolant
Best of the Will Rogers ...
Biblical Humour
Killer Whale Food
Luxury Bungalows
Zipper Scar Tattoo
Muslim Guide Dog
Powerplant Swimsuit Mod ...
Tombstone Epitaphs
Tongue Twisters
Cat Bread or Cat Loaf?
Archie Bunker Quotes
Instant Acrophobia
Ghetto Night Before Chr ...
Santa Clause? A Mathema ...
Report Card Comments fr ...
How Can This Be True, M ...
Redneck Grills
New Element in the Peri ...
Copy Cats
Toilet Paper Inspiratio ...
Future Truck
Racing a 'Hot' Rod
Only in Bora Bora - Wat ...
Roller Coaster Skiing

G'Oldies

Redneck Anti-Theft Truc ...
Electric Football
Beetle's Beetle
Cow Soccer - Tap Dance ...
Dog Muzzle
Atheist Holiday
Praying For Their Enemi ...
Birds On A Wire
Beer Drinking Through Y ...
Golf Anyone?
Puffin Walk
Bathroom Browser - TP P ...
Redneck Letter - From M ...
Laughing Owl
Painful Slam Dunk
How Blonde Was She?
Pumpkin Carvings
Swimming Pool For Sale ...
Ed Zachary Disease
Where White Man Went Wr ...
Enough Snow?
Daylight Savings?
An Evening Prayer
Prison Escapee's Not-Qu ...
What Do You See? - Part ...
Redneck Vacation
Vantastic
Bungee Jumping 'Down Un ...
Zen For Those Who Take ...
Cowmodo Dragon
Spot the Hidden Cell To ...
Texas Speed Camera
Church Humour
Florida Golf Hazard
Olympic Bicycle
Can You Do This?
Cheer Up - It Could Be ...
Pacman Skeleton
Blonde's Cooking Diary
Skylines of the World
Milk Cow Levels
Health Tips for Fat Fri ...
Locked Luggage
Jogger's Weight Scale
Bible Bar
Man of the Year Finalis ...
How Real Men Change A F ...
McDonalds Reaches Afric ...
Birding Skills 101
Car Bandaid
Italian Rolex
The Power Of Faith
Almost Done
Overpass Passover
2014 Rush Job Calendar
Computer Garden
Toilet Art
Irish School Demolition
Inspiring School Exams
Just Divorced
Scratch-Off Parking Tic ...
Dance Off Competition
Puppy Love
Impossible Illusions
Puzzle Ad
Cabin Illusion
Halloween Flashers
Newfie English Dictiona ...
Pizza Cutter
Dutch Rollerblades
Real FootBall
SwarchenEgger
www: Wagtail Windscreen ...
Careful Dentist
Broken Lawn Mower
What Women Won't Want f ...
Frog To Horse Illusion
A Picture Of Me In The ...
Biker Love
How To Live A Long & Ha ...
India School Bus
Mozambique Lion Warning
Hungry Pumpkin
Bacon Tacos
Extra Seats
On Holidays
Full Wheel Deal
ASCII Art - Walking Man
Hunting Dog Walks On Wa ...
Keyboard Running Shoes
Rabbi Road
Edinburgh Fringe Festiv ...
Kitchen Medicine Cabine ...
Negotiating Lawyers
Cat Patrol
Missed Exam
Pane-Full Motorcycle
Firemen to the Highest ...
Loo View
Tiger Wood's Dubai-ous ...
Cherry Picker
Billionaire Thoughts
Toe Jam Guitar
Government Snow Plow
South Africa Airlines - ...
Management Training
Tonto’s Horse Coolant
Maybe Shame Will Stop H ...
Identity Theft
Wrapping Illusions
Psalm 129
Welcome Home
Mexican Lion
Balloon Dinosaur
Plane Loses Propeller
Bear Warning
Hooters Mascara
Wooden Boat by Master C ...
Ultimate PC Home Entert ...
Exit Door
Forever Round
Welcome To Scotland
Elaborate Funeral
Are They Hormone or Her ...
Only Need One Golf Ball
Joe in Mexico
No More Arguing
Male Pedicure
Reach For The High-Hang ...
Oscar Fingal O'Flaherti ...
Bud Light Beer Bunker
Dental Checkup
Sneaky Dog
Rembrandt's Anatomy Les ...
Owlympics Ice Skating
Cutex Screwdriver
Couch Potato On Wheels
Politician Training
Executive Management Sh ...
W.C. Fields Quotes
Original Homeland Secur ...
Baked Democrat
Most Progressive Day of ...
Winter Laundry
Romantic Table
Back Bacon For Kids
Cowboy Tombstone
Cockatoo Or Cockatwo?
eBay Bid
Snail On The Run
Auto Warranty: New Exte ...
'Break In Motion' Brake
Da End Iss Near
Sentenced to Hard Labou ...
Picked Up Pickup
Animal Adoption
Sudoku Cats
A Baboon Wood - Would Y ...
Eye Examination Chart
Musical Forks
How To Peel An Egg
Bank Deposit
Kwik-Mart Math
Trinidad vs UK Police
Lounie Coin
Doctor's Report on Pres ...
Fireworks Wizard
Water Hypnosis
Nintendo Wedding Cake
Milking Time in Washing ...
Coffee Goes Better With ...
Country Cookin'
Superb Owl
Lawyer Malpractice
'GENIE' Awards
'Pick Your Nose' Cup
Balanced Writer
Iraqi Passport Photos
Fish Dads
Signs for the Modern Wo ...
Lawntastic Scenery
Napping Semis
Losing It On The Farm
Can You Find the Hidden ...
Sports Hernias
How To Transport Your 8 ...
Finger Physio
Hamburger a la Sign - O ...
This Is My Road
Proof That There Is Wat ...
Copy Cats
University of Georgia E ...
Fish View
Finding the Mother Load
Downer Parking
Up-Set & Hungry Trucks
Holiday Bike
Mennonite Movies
Edinburgh Fringe Festiv ...
'Stay Out Of My Way' Bu ...

Captions

Redneck Ceiling Tiles
Human Adaption
Fish Bowl Costume
Chin Up Exercise For Th ...
Skeleton Opera
Tattoo Fountain
Supervised Motorcycle W ...
Hot Air Oven
Dinner Around The Corne ...
Cartographer
Tire-d Workers
Fish Walker
Always Enough TP
Mane Spray
Push Door
Split Beach Personality
Wave Pools in India
Money Head
Gecko Earring
Land Surfing
Vatican Window Cleaners
Mountain TV
Redneck Manual
Bench Fishermen
Downhill Cycling
Alien Seating
Spaghetti Topping
Laundry Load
Cheap Flight
Elephant Ludo
Redneck Tricycle
Winter Laundry
Snowplow For Seniors
Lion Tail Tale
Looking Ahead
Boat Man
World's First Binary Si ...
Left Hanging
Head Loose Socket
Hot Air Balloon Dominoe ...
Armpit Inspectors
Elephant Enema
Redneck Windshield Wipe ...
Plain Plane Seat
Unlikely Friends
Laptop Security
Pipe Pants
Facial Hair
Company Escape Clause
River Crossing
Face Plant
Pour Picture
Long Kiss
Not You!
Teeter TottHer
Camel Bike
Cloth Road
ShareWhere Bathroom
Tingue
Ski Bathroom
Redneck Spare Tire
Car Shoelusion
News With A View
Too Much Homework?
Camel Pumps
Swimming Helmet
Benchquet
Tea Arc
But Why, Officer?
Hand Soap
Pink Pet
Fish Face
Pelican-Eat-Dog World
Bathroom Diving
Caught Cat
Redneck Halloween
Redneck TP Holder
Just Hatched
Doves Forever
Warm Sweater
Redneck Tractor
Mac Shoe
Polish Paramedics
Redneck Racecar
Hanging Load
Sheep Chair
Spooky House
Chain Fence Bed
Stretch Girl
Swingset Car
Cat Salesman Of The Yea ...
Male Pedicure
Stooletto Heels
Toddler Dance
Mozart in Africa
Playground Motorcyclist
Pet Shoe
Redneck Swing Tree
Bathroom Laptop
Chair Ruler
Sushi Earrings
Rubber-Burning Backseat ...
Redneck Solution for Hi ...
Zipper Pavement
Goat Power
Peekaboo!
Carden Garden
BraPod
Mechanical Patient
Ascot Fashion Statement
Desert Muffins
Tennis Halfpipe
Trampoline Safety
Alternative to Elevator ...
Toy Recall
Water Music
Collara Dog
Handicap Helper
Rubik's Head
Ukrainian Crotch Jumpin ...
electricAL safety
Out On A Bender
Eyekon Camera
Yoga Leadership
Portable Auto Body Shop
Jet Bike
Redneck Automatic Lawnm ...
Helmut Helmet
Ugly To The Bone
Land Yacht
Motorbike Surfing
Lightweight Safety Glas ...
Dental Checkup
Addictive Mahjong
Health Plug
Golfer's Breakfast
Math Clock
iFrame
Circular Motorcycle
IRS Toothpaste
Blue Angels Trainees
Perfect Fit Bed
UPS Fishing Boat
Sandal Sale
Invisible Motorcycle Ra ...
Childhood Romance
Wrap Around Text
Hang On To That Thought
Swimming Pool For Sale ...
Giant Slingshot
Chocolate Easter Eggs
Kid Kars
The Joe-kster's Dentist
Watermelon Bocce
Redneck Barbecue
High Fiber Diet
Outhouse Treasure
Wong Motor Home
One Square Meal A Day
Stepping Up In The Worl ...
Fishing Information
iPottie
Bathing A Cat
Christmas Present for N ...
Redneck Time Out
Redneck Swing
Catalogue Shopping
Horse Hat
'Honey, I Lost My Job.. ...
Working Round The Clock
Jockey Dementia
'Say Cheese' One Last T ...
Picked Up Pickup
Face Protector
Water Bowling
Chief of the Computer I ...
Beach Foreclosure
Mountain Road
Hygiene On The Farm
Light Beer
Computer Garden
Who's Pulling Your Chai ...
Employee Of The Month
How To Pop A Zit
Plane Camper
Wave Bored Rider's Upli ...
Redneck Ear Phone
World's Highest Tennis ...
Redneck Lawn Mower
Shoes for Well Heeled S ...
Mine's Bigger
Problem Neighbour
Pour Woman's Dress
Paint Shop Pros
Portable Playpen
Modern Dentistry - Pain ...
Abandon Ship - Japanese ...
BrokeBack Ballet
Thirst Quencher Fridge
Live Line Technique: Li ...

Newest

Reaching Out For Your O ...
Zen For Those Who Take ...
Poca Dots High School
Owl and Owlette
Innocent Plants
Refrigerator Magnet
Redneck Boat Ramp
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Lost Inheritance
Escher Floor
Tile House
Shopping Cart Car
Real Waterbed
This Dog Otter Know Bet ...
Mexican Repair Shop
Chief Onestone
Halloween Tree
Mexico Gravestones
Happy Face Pancakes
Word Search Puzzles
Environmental Protectio ...
Spider Brows-her
Ford Door Lock
Ancient Greek Law
iBola
Friendship Prayer
How To Become A Pirate
Pizza Melt
Hair Helmet
Thai Cooking
Call Of The Wild
Halloween Special
Fart Facts
Halloween Eye Shadow
Family Tree
Mutant Ninja Halloween ...
Brain Warmer
Drink And Drive Directi ...
Traveler Toilet
Moonlight Owls
Rust-ic Truck
Halloween Costumes of Y ...
Halloween Dog
Church Sign Generator
Church Humour
Dead Phone
Pen Computing - Future ...
Beware of Falling Rock ...
Redneck Meal On Wheels
Baby Sidecar
Pumpkin Face
LONG Neck Giraffe
Uranium Glass Keyboard
Window View
Canadian Food Chain
Beach Bum
Redneck Skiing
Halloween Lamp
Smiley Pumpkin
Abbey Road
Sinking Feeling
2015 Hooters Owl Calend ...
Cooking By The Pros
India Road Assistance
Wedding Cake Dress
Steering Wheel For Coup ...
Same Sex Marriage in Ca ...
Looks Like Monday
VW Pumpkin
Pumpkin Carvings
Dog Walking For a Healt ...
Designated Driver
Impassable Road
Home Library
Koi Kiss
Solar Ghetto Power
Princess Bike
Pumpkin Buns
Divorce Cakes
Nature Calls
Halloween Cyclist
GhetToes
Australian Hangover
Blonde Gears
Staff Meeting
Hungry Pumpkin
Escherlator
'One Drink A Day' Sched ...
Uplifting Church
Little Johnny Bath
Circle Of Life
Happy Thanksgiving, Y'a ...
Rickshaw Workout
Johnny On The Pot's Plu ...
Fart Football
Thanksgiving Harvest Ti ...
Slovak Muffler Accessor ...
Secret Passage
Heart Pizza
Run, Turkey, Run
Costco Wine
'Twas The Night Before ...
Original Homeland Secur ...
How To Cook A Turkey
Chip and Dip
An Evening Prayer
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Thanksgiving During Bib ...
Hunting Dog Walks On Wa ...
A Wee Fit
Immature Owl
Caturday
Fish Flops
Education Standstill
Turkey Weather Forecast
Frozen Fish Meal
Wine Glass Lanyard
Chicken Shoes
Gigantic Pizza
Stuff Sale
Car of the Future
Redneck Baby Carriage
Living With A Blonde
'Break In Motion' Brake
Going Cold Turkey
Birthday Wishes
Sports Hernias
The Senility Prayer
Do You See A Bird or a ...
Cheap Home Alarm System
Coke's Special Ingredie ...
Cat Wrangler
Boot Camp
Puffin Walk
Free Stuff
Free Beer
Ball Bait
Magic Green Hat
Praying For Their Enemi ...
Snake Bait
Inner Peace
Redneck Walkboard
Canucks Support-her
Swine Flew
Panama Canal Locks
Apple Pi
Wine Day
Overdue Excuses Awards ...
Baiting Deer
Military Motorcycle
Mow Your Lawn
Time For a Trade-In?
Family Ties
World's First Laser Poi ...
Sailing Duck
Puppy Circle
Angry Bird
Annual Meeting of Women ...
Death Foretold
Why Stand In Line?
Camel Parking
Redneck Cocktail
Cup That Runneth Over
Fish Walk
2 Carrot Ring
Mouse Trapped
Hooters Sign
Prince Bag
Chinese Cooking
Newfie Pizza Order
Deer Hitchhiker
Dog Shoes
Camel Walkers
New Deer Rifle
Duck Tomato
Strong Straws
BrickManship
WalMart Math
Bacon Wrapped Onion Rin ...
Hairstyle Dog
iBrella
Autumn Camouflage
Secret Revealed
Real FootBall
Driver's License Please
Young Mechanic Apprenti ...
Eye Like It
Famous Pets
PonyTale
Paving Fixture
It's All About Attitude
Drum Kit Chandelier
Border Smuggler
Sauna Bar
Flood Games
Soothing Hairstyle
Need A Cigarette?
Amsterdam Dress
Redneck Hedge Clipper
Brew Haul-her - 12 Brew ...