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Religious Joe-ks
joe-ks.com
Largest Source of Internet Humour!
"Are
you following Jesus this close?"
"Want a
taste of religion? Bite a Minister."
"The
secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and have
the two as close together as possible."
"If man
evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?"
"Welcome
to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray."
"Wanted:
chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required."
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
"Adam
and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped
teething."
"Often
it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."
"He has
the face of a Saint... Bernard."
"Nice
guys finish last... but as the Bible says, the first shall be last."
"The
children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times,
men wouldn't ask for directions."
Luke 4:8 on a License Plate?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
DIOS: The one true operating system.
"The
greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
"Eve
asked Adam to start the first garden – the first thing he dug up was an excuse."
"You
must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, you can ignore this notice."
"New
Orleans appoints Noah as Project Manager..."
"The
best sermons are lived, not preached."
What's the best cure for truth decay?
"Blind
Bishop Appointed to See"
Top 10 Sayings of Biblical Mothers
What does a sick preacher take?
What is the favourite sermon of the painter-turned pastor?
Why is Noah called the father of the circle?
"Though
I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet
and Climbing."
The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the
right to accept everybody."
Trust in God – but tie your camel tight.
What was Noah's profession?
What do you call it when a rabbi, a priest, and a minister hold a service
together?
How did Moses describe Egypt's treatment of his people?
What grade did God give the Pharaoh?
Who
was the best financier in the Bible?
What animals didn't come on the ark in pairs?
"God
does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically."
Christian Nation: One that has Churches too many people stay away from on
Sunday.
What kind of song do men sing in Church?
Why is a
clergyman like a shoemaker?
Why did the pastor always videotape his sermons?
What is the sharpest tool mentioned in the Bible?
Why couldn't anyone play cards on the ark?
How did Moses part the Red Sea?
Why don't skeletons play music in a Church?
For how long did Cain dislike his brother?
When was medicine first mentioned in the Bible?
Catholic: A person obsessed by felines.
Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to
lip-sync.
Cinnamon: Jamaican who broke the ten commandments.
Insinuate: Adam and Eve's least favourite word.
Monastery: Consecration camp.
Perspire: How Church builders calculate their construction costs.
Poop Deck: A naval term attributed to Noah.
Religious Movement: What you get when you mix holy water with milk of magnesia.
Sinner: A man who makes no pretensions to being good on one day out of seven.
Who was the straightest man in the Bible?
What animals failed to come to Noah's Ark in pairs?
Why is Sunday the strongest day?
What do you call a nun who goes sleep walking?
Who was
older, David or Goliath?
Religion: Insurance in this world against fire in the next.
Osmosis: An early Australian prophet.
Who is the smallest man mentioned in the Bible?
What was Noah doing in the kitchen?
Who was the 1st electrician in the Bible?
Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to
the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil.
Which Bible character had no parents?
Did you hear about the skunk who made big donations to the Church?
What did the cabbage Preacher say to his Church?
How do angels fly?
Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
Where were planes first mentioned in the Bible?
What kind of dog did Noah have?
What did the pastor say when he took a shower?
How did Noah get wrecked cars onto the ark?
What
flies, chirps, and sings religious songs?
Sign outside of Church: Clergy Parking Space ... You park - You preach
What best-selling book can you purchase at a Christian bookstore?
What ship praises God?
What Bible
character was named after a pig?
What happened at the baseball game played on the Ark?
What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another?
Join us as we celebrate posting our
World-1st
Christian Sudoku Puzzles!

(click on the thumbnail images below to
expand to full size)
Organ Donor

Different Drugs

Lobster Suppers

Garden of Eat'En

All Dogs Go To Heaven

Amish Prom Limo

Just Deserts

Redneck Revenge

Beerful Church

God Gives Restaurant

Moldy Bible

Dear Abbey

Rising To The Occasion

Daily Inspiration

Computer Bread

Babble Language

Barn Art

Good Luck Angel

Redneck Advent Calendar

The Power Of Faith

Church Sign Humour

Jesus On The Beach

Ascension Day Bike

Moses' Headache Relief

Leaving A Good Impression

An Evening Prayer - With Your
Best Friends
 
Redneck Church Sign

'Thinking Outside The Box' Puzzles
Find the hidden phrase or word (click on the image for the answer):

Christmas Christmas
Joe-ks
General $10
Conversion
18th Century History by College Students
1st Modern Church (3.1M)

1st Occurrence of Bad Gas in the Bible
40 Years In The Desert - The Real Story
42
50th Anniversary Gift of Travel
A Good Sermon - On Average
A New Pope?
Adam’s Clothes Found in the Bible
Advice
From God
Alimony Settlement From Above
All Dogs Go To Heaven

Amish
Airlines - Maiden Voyage
Amish Man's Occupation
Amish Mechanical Problems
Amish
Elevator View
Amish Friends
Amish 'Honour System' Computer Virus
Amish Prom Limo

An Evening Prayer - With Your Best Friends
Angels
Answered Diet Prayer
Anyone Without Sin?
As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life
Ascension Day Bike
Ascent to the Papacy - The Pope Who Almost Was
Asking God For New Shoes
Asylum Masterpiece - Exodus From Egypt
Atheist or Not - One Nation Under God
Atheist Holiday
Atheist Professor
Babble Language
Baby Jesus - Pure Innocence
Banished From
Paradise
Baptist Dog Tricks
Bar Healing
Barn Art
Baseball in Heaven
B.C. –
Bathroom Commode or Baptist Church?
B.C. Lions Graffiti
Bear Praise
Beerful Church
Belly Button Tattoos for Primates
Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church
The Bible - A Child’s Perspective
Bible Bar
Bible Characters Sent Home Early From Summer Camp
Bible Guinessis - Old & New Testament by Kids
Bible Trivia
Black Sheep
Blessing For The Food
Blessings
Blessings
For Mankind & Womankind
Blessings From The Pope
Blonde’s Meaning of Easter
Blonde’s Sunday Humour
Book Collector's Search for the Gutenberg Bible
Boys' Baptism
Bra Size Religion
Breakable Postal Package
Buddhist Choir of B.C. Sings for the Dalai Lama
Burning Bush
Caddy Quotes
Calling For
Backup – Is He Listening?
Can You Take It With You When You Die?
Car Sharing - a Priest and Rabbi Tale
Cardinals Select New Pope
Cardiologist Eulogy
Career Path Decisions
Cat Fat
Catholic Education
Catholic Heart Attack

Catholic Irish Girl's Support
Catholic Liturgy
Catholic Math
CD Monk
Center Of The Bible
Charity at the Preachers’ Convention
Child's
Nativity Scene
Children On Mothers
Chinese Paradise
Choir On Tour
Christian Football Games
Christian in Lion’s Den - Saved By Toastmasters
Christmas Letter To God
Christmas Pizza for King Wenceslas
Chronic Coughers
Church Accepts All Denominations
Church
Bored Board Meeting
Church Bulletin Bloopers
Church Bumper Stickers
Church Butt Sleeper
Church
Hymns by Word Association
Church Humour
Church Moments
(2.7M)
Church
Organist’s Cure For Cold
Church Re-Bait
Church Sign Generator
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Church Stories
Church Wedgie
Chutzpah Defined
Cleaning Poem
Cockney Bride Selection
Cold Hearted Women @ The Pearly Gates
Collection
Up For Grabs
Commandments
Computer Bread
Confession Relief
Confession To Make
Confessional
Confucius Says
Copyright
Country Wisdom
Cowboy and Preacher
'Creative' Church Billboards
Cross To
Bear
Crossing The River
The Crucifixion
Da Vinci Code Revealed
Daily Inspiration
Dark In Here
"David & Goliath" Sumo Mismatch
Day of Light and
Darkness
Deacon Funeral
Dead Mule @ Church
Dear Abbey
Delays
Devilish In-Law
Differences
Between Christmas and Chanukah
Difference Between a Convict and a Lawyer
Different Drugs

Disease Prevention for Church Organists
The Dog's Funeral
Doing Her Time
Don’t Despair – Sister Martha’s Looking After You
Don't Mess With The Amish
Double Mark of the Beast
Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out Of Your Eye' Guy
Drawing God
Dying Pope’s Last Request
Dying Request
Early Easter Date 2008
Easter Sudoku Puzzle
Ed Schellenberg - Memorial Service
Elder Approved Transportation
Electronic Non-Translator
e-mail From God
Email Gone Astray - Meeting Your Wife Earlier Than Expected?
The End is
Near – Turn Yourself Around!
Engineer Improvements
in Hell
The Evils of Television
Evolution Of Man
The Evolution of Man & Woman
Evolution of Women
The Eye Of God - NASA Hubble Telescope
Fat Friend Prayer
The First Couple
First Major Change by German Pope
Fishing With Moses
Football Dilemma
Forgiveness Spreadsheet
Four Worm Parable
Free Trip To Heaven
Friendship Prayer
Future Minister
Future Preacher
Gandhi Calluses
Garden of Eden Nationality
Garden of Daily Living - Reap What You Sow
Garden of Eat'En

Gas Faith
George Burns Quotes
George Carlin Quotes
The Gift Of Life
Give Satan An Inch
"Glad It's Done" Sermon
God's Billboard
God Gives Restaurant
God Is Like...
God Is Watching Over
"US"
God’s Little Instructions
God Will Provide
God's Unfair Advantage
God's Watching Over You
Golden Telephone
Good Confession
Good Luck Angel
Goodbye Daddy
Grace In A Low Voice
Grandma’s Boyfriend
Grin and Bear It
Guilt
Guilty Golfer
Hallelujah Chorus: Wrong-Key Organist (670k)
Halloween Kiss
Halo to the Holy Dog
Hand Of Hope
Handbell Registration - Union Members
Need Not Apply
Hanukkah Night
Before Christmas
Harleys In Heaven
Have
Lunch With God – Bring Chips!
Head Hog Of The Trough
Heaven Can Weight
Heaven Is For Best Friends
Heaven Is Where ...
Heavenly Matrimony
Heavenly Round Of Golf
Heaven's Baseball Game
Hell
Does Freeze Over!
Hell Toupee
Help For The Snoring Husband
Henny Youngman Quotes
Hire Her
Holy Cow
Honk If You Love Jesus
Horseback Riding Preacher
How Many Women Can A Man Marry?
How
To Increase Church Attendance
How To Make Holy Water
Humble Appetite
Hummingbird Nest - From Nest to Flyaway
Hunting Dog
Walks On Water
Hutterite Triathletes – Olympic Hasbeens
Hymn Choice Reward for Biggest Givers
Hymns For All Occasions
Hymns For The Over 50 Crowd
If Dogs
Sent Letters To God… Chrysler Beagle?
I'm A Lightbulb
The Immaculate Contraption by Lionized College Students
In Another Woman's Arms
Innocence Is Priceless
Inspirational Quotes
Internet Nun
Irish Alzheimer's
Irish Birth Control
Is That God's Boy Over There?
It's The Thought That Counts
Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.
Jesus’
Father’s Name
Jesus Is
Watching You!
Jesus On The Beach
Jewish
Christmas Celebration
Jewish Holiday
Jewish Mother-In-Law
Jewish Operation
Jewish
Perspective
Jewish Samurai
Jewish Satisfaction
Jewish Suicide Pilots
Joining The Army Of The Lord
Just Deserts

Key Lesson
Kid's Groaners
Kids In Church
Kids Komments
KKK Preacher
Knocking On Heaven's Door
Knowing A Little Greek
Knowing Scripture Can Save Your Life
Kosher Computers
Las Vegas Church Donations
Last Call For Heaven
Last Request
Laus Deo
Learning To Spell
Leaving A Good Impression
Left-Hand Painter
Lego Church
Lent Conversion
Lessons From Noah
Let My People Go - Debt Free
Let The Church Help
'Let Us Pray' or 'Let Us Prey'? (800k)
Letters to God - From Children
Lifespan Allocation - What Man Does With 80 Years
Lighthouse Safety
Little Angel
Little Johnny's First Church Service
Little Johnny's Grace-Full Exit
Little Johnny’s Ice Cream Sunday
Little White Lies @ the Ladies’ Bake Sale
Lobster Suppers

Long
Sermon? Blame the Wife’s Dentures
Long Sermon
- Give Him The Money Now
Loose Canon
The Lost Chapter of Genesis
Lost Churches of Louisiana
Lot Fleas The City
Lot's Wife
Luke-Hot License Plate 4U
Lutheran Airlines – New Service in Meennesnowta
Make Womb For Baby
Making Money
Marketing 101 in a Catholic Country
Memorial Service
Men, Thou Shalt Brew
Mennonite Joe-ks
Message From God
Messianic Sign –
Lion & Lamb Peace
Mexican Jews? No, Senor!
Miss Bea
Missed Palm Sunday
Missing Bibles
Moldy Bible
Money From God
Monk’s
Christmas Vow
Monk’s Fish And Chip Stand
Monk On A
Rope
Monk's Story
Moral Lesson
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses' Bath
Moses' Computer Skills
Moses' Headache Relief
Moses Parting the Ice Field
Mummy’s
Heart Attack
Nationality of Adam and Eve
Negotiations in Israel
Never Try To Outsmart A Woman!
New
Christmas Stamps
New School Prayer
Newfoundland's End Of The World
Noah's
2005 Ark
Noah’s Holey Ark – One Woodpecker Two Many
Noah's Naughty Rabbit
Non-Denomination Church
Nun Chairs – Great Looking Legs!
Nun Of That: #1 #2
Nuns @ a Baseball Game – a Habit For Them
Nun’s Bedpan Gas
Nun-Sense @ the Airport
Old Testament Hooker
Old
Time Preaching
One Way Ticket To Mars
Organ Donor

Outnumbered Theology
Paint Thinner
Parable of the
Retired Dollar Bill
Parachute Priorities
Parrot Prayers
Parting of the Red Sea
Pass It On
Passing the Bar Exam to Join The Club
Pastor's Business Card
Pastor’s
Life in the Arms of a Woman
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pastoral Visitation
Patient's
Last Request
Pedestrian Lawyers
Penance Observed
Pennies And Seconds
The Perfect Pastor
Performance Pay - God's Answer
(60k)
Philosophy 101 -
The Chair That Doesn't Exist
The Pickle Jar
Picture of God
Pilot Gets Heavenly Treatment
Pine Trees Know When It’s Easter
Plastic Surgery for Long Life
Please - Noah More!
Plenty of Room for God's Creatures
in Saskatoon
Poker Hands
Politician’s Corn – Miracle In The Making
Pope’s Good & Bad News Message
Pothole Brothers

The Power Of Faith
Practical Joe-ks
Practice Makes Perfect
Prayer To Lesson The
Wind
Praying For Their Enemies in Edmonton?
Preacher's Advice For Prosperity
Preacher's Ass
Preacher's Expanding Salary
Preacher Gives Thanks for the Wine
Preacher's Patience Bike
Preaching To A Bear
Precious Cow for
Dying Mother
Pre-Planned Prayer
Priest’s Backwards Collar
Priest's First Confession
Priest’s Last Place
Rites
Prince Charles - Marriage Warning
Principles of Three World
Religions
Prunes & Holy Water
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Pulpit Talk
Quaker Spinster
Rabbi's Advice on Wife's Poison
Rabbi Rocks On The Water
Rebuilding in New Orleans
Redneck Advent Calendar
Redneck Book of Manners
Redneck Church Sign
Redneck's Flight Refund
Redneck Nativity
Scene
Redneck Revenge
Redundant God
Religion 101 - Looking for a Volunteer
Religious-Based Divorce
Religious Customs Declaration
Religious
One Liners
Religious Sudoku
Requirement Of Your Faith?
Restless God
Right and Wrong to Little Johnny
'Right Your Wrongs' Wash-Away Sins Towelette
Rising To The Occasion
Risk of Using
His Name In Vain
'Roll Up The Rim To Win' Cups:
Loser
Religious
Chinese
Used
Roses Are
Redish
Run Through The Rain With Me, My Friends!
Russian Paradise
Sacred Priest
Samaritan Zipper
Scotsman’s Trip to the Holy Land
Scriptural Burglary
Scripture Verses on the Doors
Seagull From Heaven
Secret
Behind the "Twelve Days of Christmas" Song
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sermon On Alcohol
Sermon Sleeper
Seven Lemon Confession
Sewn
Significance... Sew What?
Sex on
the Sabbath – Work or Play?
Sharing Your Faith - Kindergarten Perspective
Shaved by Grace
Sibling
Commandment
Signs
of Christmas Everywhere
Signs You're Flat Broke
Silent Church Service
Simultaneous Hunters
The Sin of Lying
Sister Logical
Sleeping Sermons
Slow Train
Ride To Town
Snake Math
Snoring Congregation Member
Soiled Service
Something ‘Christmassy’ In Heaven
Songs For The Pastor
Soul Repair
Southern Blessing
Speaking In Tongues
Speaking in Tongues for Animals
Speed Trap
Standing Up
For Heaven
Steinbach Terrorist Attack
Stomach Gas - Cute One!
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
Stop With
The Jewish Joe-ks!
Storm Clouds
St. Peter's Politics
Sunday Collection
Sunday Drive in the Country - The
Good Old Days
Sunday School Joe-ks
Supersize Calories
Taking Care of Church Gossip
Take Only ONE – God Is Watching!
Taking No
Chance with the Mother-In-Law
Talented Donkey
Talking Centipede

Taste Of
Religion
Tax Cheater
Tee Time in Heaven
Tempting Parking Spot
Ten Commandments List
Ten Dollar Sermon
Tenderized Missionaries
The Texan's Prayer
Thanks For The Schnapps!
Thanksgiving During Biblical Times
Theology - Kid Style
Things My Mother Taught Me: #1 #2
#3
#4 #5 #6
#7 #8 #9
#10 #11 #12
#13
This Is Heaven
Thou Shalt Not Park Here
Time's Up!
‘Tired Of Sin’ Church Ad
Toe Jam Guitar
(2.6M)
Top 10 Sayings of Biblical Mothers
Toy Prayers
Tribute to our Catholic Friends - List of Popes
Trouble Tree
Trust or
Repair?
Turpentine – Most Powerful Liquid In The World
Two Lines in Heaven
Ugly Bus To Paradise
Unbeerievable Nuns
Understanding Women
Unique Perspective
Vatican City's New Breakfast Special
Vegetarian Missionary
Visiting Preacher's Rapturous Sermon
Unwanted Choir Singer
Wanda The
Wonderful
Water Closet Classic
Waterfall
Method for Buildings
Whale Tale
What Do You See?
What Doesn't Constitute As Going To Church
'What You
Hear' Blessing
What's a Sunday Advenist?
What's He Going To Be?
When
Can I Drive, Dad?
Where Would You Rather Live?
Who'll Take Stalin's Body?
Who's in Heaven?
Who's The Most Religious?
Why
Does God Allow Injustice?
Why God Created Eve
Why
Jesus is Better Than Santa
Why Men Live 75 Years
Why We Forward Email
Wise Girl
World Jigsaw Puzzle
World
Renowned Super Dave
World War II Confession
World's First Tradesman - The Electrician
World's Toughest Riddle
Wrench-ing
Dog Story
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church If...
Youth Pastor's Last Speech
(3.0M)
Heaven Bill
"Pearly" Gates
Forrest Gump In Heaven
Heaven-Word
Heavenly Computer Contest
Holey Golfing
Parachute Problems
Politician in Heaven
Stud Service Recall From Heaven
This Is Heaven
Hell Canadian
Champions
Executive Hell
Heaven's Gates
Hell Defined
Mennonite Mennonite Joe-ks
Monastery Monastery Life
Missions Missionary
Couple
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