Kids Rids
You're Kid'n me, right?

Did you hear about the old lady who told knitting joe-ks?
How do you get a mouse to smile?
What do you call a dog that gets mail?
What musical instrument doesn't tell the truth?
Why should you carry books on your head?
Can you spell eighty in two letters?
What's a good gift for an Australian ghost?
Why did the tightrope walker always carry his bank book?
What's the biggest room in the world?
What type of books do baby deer enjoy?
How did Jonah feel when the whale swallowed him?
What candy is never on time?
What time is it when you sit on a thumb tack?
Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
How do you start a Jell-o race?
What did the computer program and the itchy dog have in common?
Why did the vampire see a therapist?
Did the furniture polisher win the race?
What is a frightened skin diver?
What do you call a dance performed by nervous insects?
What does a pheasant say when it kisses its children good night?
Why was the baby chicken thrown out of school?
Why did the Japanese chef yell?
What bad girl grows in a garden?
Which pirate do fish fear the most?
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
What kind of underwear do mummies wear?
What Robin Hood sidekick loved fast food?
What do photographers and bats have in common?
What does the Joe-kster wear under his pants?
What city cheats at exams?
What did the librarian use for bait?
How can you recognize a dogwood tree?
What people would never join a nudist camp?
What did the shrimp yell to the seaweed?
What did the paint give the wall on their 1st anniversary?
What does Indiana Jones like on his ice cream?
Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
Who invented the grandfather clock?
If there were a bank holdup, who would be the main witness?
Why is it fun to play baseball with Dracula?
What side of a hedgehog is the sharpest?
Where do books sleep?
Which two animals are found in the alphabet?
Why did the truck driver stop on the highway to eat his salad?
Why did the giant get into trouble at school?
What do you call a rodent that lives in your bedroom?
What do you call a rabbit that likes to swim with crocodiles?
What do you call the man who makes his living selling refreshments in the interval at Euro Cup matches?
How did the ditchdigger get his job?
What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
What are teenage giraffes told when they go on their first date?
What did one plate say to the other plate?
What's the fastest vegetable on earth?
What's the most popular name for a hamburger?
Which New York Yankee wears the biggest cap?
How did the ecologist feel when the trees turned to stone?
Where's a good place to take your golf clubs after the game?
What do you call Dracula's accent?
What animal is the best poker player?
What gender are many employees at the Post Office?
How do artists become famous?
What game do mice like to play?
Why did the chicken run on to the soccer field?
What's worse than being a 300-pound witch?
Why is the Dracula family so close?
What is black, white and very difficult?
What do you say to a hitchhiking frog?
What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
Why don't school children know about the Iron Age?
What do you get if you cross a fishing rod with Batman?
What do computer programmers like to eat for breakfast?
Why don't aliens drown in hot chocolate?
How do you make a sausage roll?
What keeps an igloo warm?
When is fog like food?
Action Man drove his sports car off a bridge. Was he hurt?
Where do restless travelers like to go?
Why do bagpipers walk so fast when they play?
Where do belly dancers get their education?
Why didn't the computer answer the question?
Do fish perspire?
Did you hear about the absent-minded Siamese twins?
A class has a top and a bottom. What is in the middle?
What happened when the steam hammer was invented?
Where do cows get their education?
When fish swim in schools, who helps their teacher?
Why did the piano teacher chase the elephant with a feather?
What did the carpenter make for the textbook?
What's the best way to cut down on air pollution in schools?
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
What do you call a naughty glove?
What happened to the bag of popcorn that was arrested at the theater?
What did the fish give his teacher?
What do you call a pickle that draws?
What do you call an attack by a bunch of wigs?
Why did the clock get in trouble in class?
Who wrote 'Southern Cooking'?
What city is tilted?
What do you get when you cross a pig with Count Dracula?
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