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Kids Rids
You're Kid'n me, right?


 
 
What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind as it hits a car windshield?
 
What happened to the dog that swallowed a watch?
 
why do hurricanes travel so fast?
 
What's the job that you use texting the most?
 
Where do rabbits go for an eye test?
 
Why did Little Johnny give his teacher a PC?
 
Why did the charge card turn in more homework?
 
Which bird never grows up?
 
As I was going to the North Pole I met nine elves.
Each elf had nine reindeer,
Each reindeer had nine bags.
Each bag had nine puppies.
And each bag had also nine cats, reindeer, elves, puppies and cats.
How many were going to the North Pole?
 
What is a hedgehog's favourite snack?
 
What did the knife say to the pencil?
 
Why don't bananas snore?
 
What happened to the rhubarb thief?
 
What reptile can you find in a clogged drain?
 
Did you hear about the ice that lost its job?
 
Why were the bees on strike?
 
Where does a squid sleep when he camps?
 
If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does a scuba diver get?
 
Why are barns so noisy?
 
What's a demolition derby driver's favourite vegetable?
 
Why was the computer late for class?
 
What do sparrows serve at parties?
 
Why did the tire take a holiday?
 
What do women lifeguards wear when they get married?
 
Why is it difficult to eat soup with a moustache?
 
How do you know when a Smurf has been in your kitchen?
 
How do you kill tortellini?
 
What's the capital of Arkansas?
 
Why did the robot need a manicure?
 
Who is the leader of the popcorn?
 
Why did the quarterback go to college?
 
What happens when you take a picture of the Invisible Man?
 
What would you get if you crossed a sheep and a monkey?
 
What's a whale's favourite magazine?
 
Why do fish live in salt water?
 
What do you call a spy movie set at the North Pole?
 
Why did the boulder's wife divorce him?
 
What do elephants wear on their legs?
 
What did the ghoul eat with his soup?
 
What do you call a deer that yells out road instructions?
 
What was the highest mountain before Mt. Everest was discovered?
 
Where did the rhino sit in the school band?
 
How do dogs rap?
 
Why can't leopards escape from the zoo?
 
What type of fruit steals honey?
 
What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen drawer?
 
Where does a vampire brush his teeth?
 
What should you do if you can't stand Swiss cheese on your hamburger?
 
Why did the blonde secretary take a bikini to work?
 
Why was the centipede dropped from the football team?
 
Did you hear about the grass that left the soccer team?
 
What do bad little wolves become?
 
What do Californians eat for breakfast during a tremor?
 
Why did Little Johnny throw butter out of the window?
 
Which teacher sends the most notes home?
 
Why did the ocean roar?
 
How did Little Johnny describe a beaver, a frog, a pig, and a big fish?
 
What does a polite mink say?
 
How do sheep keep warm in winter?
 
What gives milk and has one horn?
 
What do trees use to take notes at school?
 
What do you get when you cross a cat with a stove?
 
What kind of music do you hear when you throw a pebble into a lake?
 
Why did the fisherman keep catching drapes?
 
What would you get if Batman and Robin were run over by stampeding cattle?
 
What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?
 
What do you get when you cross a sink with a bugle?
 
Why should you never go to a horse for change?
 
Where do you gas up a horse?
 
Where does satisfaction come from?
 
What game do parrots play?
 
What does an astronaut do when he gets angry?
 
What do you give an injured lemon?
 
What exam does an exterminator have to take?
 
What has more letters than the alphabet?
 
Why are hogs like trees?
 
What is a haunted wigwam?
 
What's an astronaut's favourite drink?
 
How did the patient get to the hospital so fast?
 
What happened to the guy who got his head stuck in a washing machine?
 
What happens when you ask an oyster a personal question?
 
What do you call the place where the animals rest in the desert?
 
Why do psychiatrists give patients shock treatment?
 
How did the police know the parrot was telling the truth?
 
Did you hear about the blonde athlete who won a gold medal at the Olympics?
 
How do you get an astronaut's baby to fall asleep?
 
How do fleas travel?
 
How do you kill a circus?
 
How did the dairy farmer keep track of his herd?
 
Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
 
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
 
What did the absent-minded skunk say when the wind changed direction?
 
Why was it hard for the policeman to enjoy the baseball game?
 
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
 
Why did the thermometer go to college?
 
Where do hurricanes sit during band practice?
 
Who slept on an ironing board for 20 years?
 
Why do barbers make good drivers?
 
Why did the algae marry the fungus?
 
What did they call the Emperor of France after he was hit by a cannonball?
 
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27-Apr-2017

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