Kids Rids
You're Kid'n me, right?

What does a policeman like on his toast?
Why did Little Johnny drink a gallon water before every meal?
What do you call it when many apes get together?
What's a nerd's favourite game?
Why did the racecar driver jump into the pool?
What happens to cats when they get out of prison?
How do you spell "blind pig" with two letters?
How do chickens start a race?
How do cattle stay in shape?
What do you call stupid flowers that grow in a pond?
What did the tree deposit in the bank?
A butcher is 6 feet tall. What does he weigh?
How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tennis player?
What's a lion's favourite US state?
How can you stop fish going bad on Monday?
Why was the tuna sad when he lost his wife?
What is the noisiest US state?
What do you get when you saw a comedian in two?
Which nasty bug is a famous pirate?
How does a guinea pig get up to the second floor?
Where does a snowman put his birthday candles?
What tree can't you climb?
How do you know that you're at the top of your class?
What did the scientist say when he found a 300-year-old sausage?
What happened when Peter Rabbit was chased out of Mr. McGregor's garden?
What hero delivers meals to your house?
How do you buy a chessboard in Australia?
Where did Noah keep his pinball machine?
What did King Tut get for his birthday?
Why can't an eel ever win an argument?
Why did the hockey player bring rope to the hockey game?
What do Eskimos eat for breakfast?
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with french fries?
Did you hear about the CEO who loved surfing?
What does a match do when it loses its temper?
How do you send a soda through the mail?
What did the mother rope say to her child?
What music do wasps and yellowjackets listen to?
Why did the cranberry turn red?
What are goose bumps for?
What animals are on legal documents?
What do you get when you cross a clown with a chicken?
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
How do you get to the army base?
How do you get to the Crossword Company?
What would you get if you crossed a golden retriever with a carrot?
How do you know that the ocean is friendly?
Why was the young whale sent to the principal?
What do you get when you cross a small horn and a little flute?
Why are basketball coaches happy?
How do you make fruit punch?
What did the acupuncturist say to the patient who phoned at midnight?
Is Frankenstein scary?
What do you call it when a violin player runs away?
How do you describe a very cold flea?
Why didn't the witch wear a flat cap?
Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?
What kind of fish can do brain surgery?
Which country has the most horses?
What do you call a fish that services pianos?
Why do baseball players make good pianists?
What wears an eyepatch and robs ships at night?
Why did the watch get into trouble at school?
What do you call a deaf elephant?
Who is the smallest bear?
What do you call the rear entrance to a cafeteria?
What do you call a Mexican man who lost his car?
Why did Einstein go to the beach?
Why won't African elephants play cards?
What do you call a cool rabbit that can rap?
What do women gardeners wear when they get married?
What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
How do you become a zookeeper without going to school?
What's an orchestra conductor's favourite dessert?
Why did the girl stop dating the invisible man?
What type of art does a dog like to practice on glass?
What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind as it hits a car windshield?
What happened to the dog that swallowed a watch?
why do hurricanes travel so fast?
What's the job that you use texting the most?
Where do rabbits go for an eye test?
Why did Little Johnny give his teacher a PC?
Why did the charge card turn in more homework?
Which bird never grows up?
As I was going to the North Pole I met nine elves.
Each elf had nine reindeer,
Each reindeer had nine bags.
Each bag had nine puppies.
And each bag had also nine cats, reindeer, elves, puppies and cats.
How many were going to the North Pole?
What is a hedgehog's favourite snack?
What did the knife say to the pencil?
Why don't bananas snore?
What happened to the rhubarb thief?
What reptile can you find in a clogged drain?
Did you hear about the ice that lost its job?
Why were the bees on strike?
Where does a squid sleep when he camps?
If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does a scuba diver get?
Why are barns so noisy?
What's a demolition derby driver's favourite vegetable?
Why was the computer late for class?
What do sparrows serve at parties?
Why did the tire take a holiday?
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