Kids Rids
You're Kid'n me, right?

What type of fruit steals honey?
What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen drawer?
Where does a vampire brush his teeth?
What should you do if you can't stand Swiss cheese on your hamburger?
Why did the blonde secretary take a bikini to work?
Why was the centipede dropped from the football team?
Did you hear about the grass that left the soccer team?
What do bad little wolves become?
What do Californians eat for breakfast during a tremor?
Why did Little Johnny throw butter out of the window?
Which teacher sends the most notes home?
Why did the ocean roar?
How did Little Johnny describe a beaver, a frog, a pig, and a big fish?
What does a polite mink say?
How do sheep keep warm in winter?
What gives milk and has one horn?
What do trees use to take notes at school?
What do you get when you cross a cat with a stove?
What kind of music do you hear when you throw a pebble into a lake?
Why did the fisherman keep catching drapes?
What would you get if Batman and Robin were run over by stampeding cattle?
What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?
What do you get when you cross a sink with a bugle?
Why should you never go to a horse for change?
Where do you gas up a horse?
Where does satisfaction come from?
What game do parrots play?
What does an astronaut do when he gets angry?
What do you give an injured lemon?
What exam does an exterminator have to take?
What has more letters than the alphabet?
Why are hogs like trees?
What is a haunted wigwam?
What's an astronaut's favourite drink?
How did the patient get to the hospital so fast?
What happened to the guy who got his head stuck in a washing machine?
What happens when you ask an oyster a personal question?
What do you call the place where the animals rest in the desert?
Why do psychiatrists give patients shock treatment?
How did the police know the parrot was telling the truth?
Did you hear about the blonde athlete who won a gold medal at the Olympics?
How do you get an astronaut's baby to fall asleep?
How do fleas travel?
How do you kill a circus?
How did the dairy farmer keep track of his herd?
Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
What did the absent-minded skunk say when the wind changed direction?
Why was it hard for the policeman to enjoy the baseball game?
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
Why did the thermometer go to college?
Where do hurricanes sit during band practice?
Who slept on an ironing board for 20 years?
Why do barbers make good drivers?
Why did the algae marry the fungus?
What did they call the Emperor of France after he was hit by a cannonball?
Why did the poison ivy get into trouble?
What is stucco?
How does a cheerleader make phone calls?
Was Bambi's mother a rabbit?
How did they catch the gangster who committed the robbery on Mount Everest?
Why do fish go after worms?
What has wings and solves number problems?
What position did the mouse serve in Parliament?
What animals did Little Johnny buy with a dollar?
Why did the golfer do so well in school?
What did King Arthur wear to bed?
What happens when a lion goes to school?
What is raised in Brazil during the rainy season?
Why did the millionaire give the music school a new piano?
What do you call a young bee?
What happened to the kitten that got caught in a Xerox machine?
What do you tell someone you didn't see on New Year's Eve?
What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
What would you get if you crossed a Church bell with Dracula?
How did the farmer repair his jeans?
What animal is dull at parties?
What flower lies down?
When is fishing bad for you?
Why did they say the school band was unsinkable?
How do you make a Moroff laugh on Boxing Day?
Which of Santa's reindeer needs to mind his manners the most?
How does Rudolf know when Christmas is coming?
Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys?
How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
What are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
What do you call a man who works in a perfume shop at Christmas?
Why do you go to bed on Christmas Eve?
When the cow crossed the road on Christmas what did he say?
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
What ballet outfit do math teachers wear?
Who delivers presents to good little baby kittens at Christmas?
Christmas for Kids
How can you tell when a swimming team is broke?
How did Darth Vader's parents get him to study?
What do mountain climbers' kids like to play?
What did the tie say to the hat?
What's the healthiest insect?
What kind of math do trees learn?
What does a matador write with?
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