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What does a lady principal wear under her clothes?
 
Did you hear about the bread baker?
 
What do you call a drunk who works at an upholstery shop?
 
Why shouldn't you keep a library book on the ground overnight?
 
What flowers grow right under your nose?
 
What does the Abominable Snowman put in his coffee?
 
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
 
How do you make a lemon drop?
 
How do you measure a lawn?
 
What does a hired hand become when he makes too many mistakes?
 
What always comes into a house through the keyhole?
 
What do lawyers wear to bed?
 
What would you call it if the sun never set from January to December?
 
What is a Doctor's favourite musical instrument?
 
Which is faster, hot or cold?
 
What comes before March?
 
Why is it hard to warm up to snakes?
 
What's the noisiest part of your hand?
 
What happened when the beam of light broke the law?
 
How long should a slipper be?
 
How can you tell the big waves from the little waves?
 
Do minutes at the table make you put on weight?
 
What did the inventor of the first elastic girdle say when asked if it worked?
 
What's the quickest way to make anti-freeze?
 
What sort of ring is always square?
 
What nationality is Santa Claus?
 
Why did the Joe-kster take a prune out for the evening?
 
What looks like half an apple?
 
How can you share four apples with six friends?
 
When one does not know what it is, then it is something; but when one knows what it is, then it is nothing.
 
What fastens two people yet touches only one?
 
What happens when you get amnesia and deja vu at the same time?
 
What do you call an Orca swimming in U.S. waters?
 
What did the man say after his knee operation?
 
What is the one thing you should take before every meal?
 
Why did Adam get the first fig leaf?
 
How can you get out of a room with a piano in it?
 
What do garage mechanics wear to ballet class?
 
Did you hear about the patient who swallowed a spoon?
 
What kind of cat likes meat for breakfast?
 
What kind of parties do bricklayers attend?
 
Why was the math teacher arrested?
 
What happened when the English teacher was arrested?
 
What kind of cat floats?
 
Why was the mother star disappointed when she had a little daughter?
 
What is a comedian's favourite breakfast cereal?
 
What are the chances of an artist making a living?
 
Did you hear about the artist with a poor memory?
 
Did you hear about the tame mosquitoes?
 
What is the least heavy place to live?
 
What time does a gambler get up?
 
Where did James Bond live after he retired?
 
What is something you never want to see on a cruise ship?
 
Why wasn't there any food left after the Monster's Halloween party?
 
What's worse than a bicycle with no brakes?
 
What do Indian ghosts sleep in?
 
What did Casper win for being the friendliest ghost?
 
What do you call grass on the moon?
 
Why do mummies tell no secrets?
 
Why is the shopping so good in Hawaii?
 
How did the Congressman get a son?
 
What makes taxi cabs sweet and sticky?
 
Why is a bride like a telephone?
 
How do astronomers know that the universe isn't heavy?
 
Did you hear about the girl who ran for Queen of the blood donor clinic?
 
What brand of fruit punch do sopranos drink?
 
How do you find where a flea has bitten you?
 
What do basketmakers do when it's time to go?
 
Why was the actor's hair always messy?
 
What's at the end of the world?
 
What do you get if you add 2 Lorn plus 2 Lorn?
 
What did one mountain say to the other mountain?
 
What are championship pickup trucks members of?
 
What is the worst thing to make in a pottery class?
 
What do you call someone who doesn't have all their fingers on one hand?
 
What do you call an insane flower?
 
How do you start a race between two rice puddings?
 
What do you say to a King who falls off his chair?
 
If 2 is company, and 3's a crowd, what are 4 and 5?
 
When is an army like a sales clerk making out a bill?
 
I have wings but do not fly. The fastest horse, I could run right by. Despite the legend, I hold my head high. What am I?
 
What says, 'Quick! Quick! Quick!'?
 
What would you get if you crossed a bowling alley with a sewing class?
 
What's the worst tasting drink of the day?
 
Why was the cab driver fired?
 
What do mummies dance to?
 
What do you get when a bike freezes?
 
Where do they store Chinese boats?
 
What kind of adult has tiny pupils?
 
How does a farmer make a small fortune?
 
What do you call a Chinese guy walking his dog?
 
How many astronauts does it take to change a lightbulb?
 
What's a math teacher's favourite meal?
 
How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
 
What do you call a ballerina who works in a pub?
 
How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
 
How many football coaches does it take to change a lightbulb?
 
How many male chauvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
 
Who was the smallest man in the Bible?
 
How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?
 
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16-Jan-2018

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