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When do mothers have baby boys?
 
What is the most dangerous candy in a candy shop?
 
What contains more feet in winter than in summer?
 
Why is a wedding ring like a tourniquet for a bachelor?
 
What do you call an underground British train of professors?
 
Why was the artist arrested for graffiti?
 
What goes through a door but never goes in or out?
 
When is a piece of wood like a queen?
 
If there are ten flies on a table and you kill one, how many are left?
 
When police arrived at the scene of the crime, how did they know that the letters, not the numbers, were innocent?
 
What did the politically correct yodeler say?
 
What's the store policy at the Pirate Shop?
 
What kind of cot can’t you sleep in?
 
What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
 
What can you keep and give away at the same time?
 
In what job do you start at the top and work your way down?
 
What does a burglar like in his soup?
 
How does a wrestler keep his bike safe from thieves?
 
What kind of fruit did Noah take on the Ark?
 
Why did the baker quit his job?
 
What’s the difference between a mouse and a beautiful girl?
 
What has fingers and thumbs but no arms?
 
What kind of job is it easy to stick to?
 
Spell "Indian tent" with two letters.
 
Brian died in Texas, while Cathy died at sea. Cathy’s death was a cause for much celebration, after Brian. Why?
 
What kind of trees are the most diseased?
 
What do you call a lion with no eyes?
 
How can you gain weight through exercise?
 
How much earth can be excavated from a hole 6 feet wide, 4 feet long, and 2 feet 6 inches deep?
 
What do you call a bank manager sitting in a tree?
 
What do you call a part-time bandleader?
 
How can you prove that a man has three heads?
 
How do engineers start construction of an earthquake center?
 
What does everything in the world have in common?
 
What happened at the crossword puzzle addict’s funeral?
 
Why did the long-winded speaker need no introduction?
 
What’s the greatest aid to adult education?
 
What happened to the pregnant lady who got frightened by the bear at the zoo?
 
What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
 
What’s worse than Joe’s dog swallowing a tapeworm and dying by inches, or Josh’s dog crawling up his bed and dying by the foot?
 
Why did the Doctor call Little Johnny "Theophilus" when he was born?
 
What shouldn't you ever share with your friends?
 
What one thing do Democrats and Republicans share in common?
 
How do you tune into the sun?
 
Where do old bicycle tires go?
 
What's the most interesting thing about the word "knight"?
 
Why is duct tape like "The Force"?
 
What is neither flesh nor blood, but has four fingers and a thumb?
 
What happens when an owl gets laryngitis?
 
A rope ladder is hanging over the side of a ship. The ladder is five metres long, and the rungs are 20 centimetres apart, with the lowest rung resting on the surface of the water. The water is rising at a rate of 20 centimetres an hour. How long will it take before the first three rungs are under water?
 
If a bus leaves from Vancouver to Calgary an hour before another bus leaves from Calgary to Vancouver, which bus will be closer to Vancouver when the two are passing each other?
 
Two men play five games of checkers, and each wins the same number of games. There are no draws. How can this be?
 
Do they have a fourth of July in England?
 
If a peacock and a half lays and egg and a half in a day and a half, how many eggs will three peacocks lay in three days?
 
A Doctor is about to operate on a little boy. "This is my son!" exclaims the Doctor. The Doctor is correct, yet the Doctor is not the boy's father. What is going on?
 
Did you hear about the ghost who got in trouble for handing out boo's to minors?
 
How many three-cent stamps are there in a dozen?
 
(Do this in your head) Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. And another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
 
How can you put your left hand in your right hand pants pocket, and then put your right hand in your left hand pants pocket at the same time?
 
How can you take one from nineteen and get 20?
 
What is the longest yet the shortest thing in the world; the swiftest and the slowest; the most divisible and most extended; the least valued and the most regretted; without which nothing can be done; which devours everything, however small, and yet gives life and spirit to all things however great?
 
What question can never be answered with a "yes"?
 
What English word, which is singular, but if you add an "s" becomes plural, but if you add another "s" it becomes singular again?
 
I wave constantly but no one ever waves back. What am I?
 
What did the vegetarian tiger eat?
 
Where does the ambassador fish?
 
What do you call an insect that flies out of jail?
 
If a man is born in Alberta, grows up in Manitoba, and dies in Nova Scotia, what is he?
 
What was the Doctor's response to the patient who said, "Doctor, Doctor - I have only 59 seconds to live!"?
 
A cabbage, a tap, and a tomato were in a race. What happened?
 
What do you get when a ghost sits on a branch?
 
In which month do dogs bark the least?
 
Why is slippery pavement like music?
 
When is a car not a car?
 
What kind of lock in on a hippie's door?
 
What goes up white and comes down yellow and white?
 
What do you call someone who sits in a Doctor's waiting room for hours and hours?
 
Name a collective noun.
 
What happened to the Doctor who tried kidnapping for a while?
 
What came after the dinosaurs?
 
Who lives in Australia?
 
What happened to the magical tractor?
 
What bird is present at every meal?
 
What kind of phone makes music?
 
Why do carpenters think there's no such thing as glass?
 
What kind of nut grows on walls?
 
Why did the balloon factory close?
 
How do very small people communicate with each other?
 
What stories do sailors tell their children?
 
What do yaks talk to each other about?
 
What do you call an ant who can't play the piano?
 
What do you call an ant who lives on his own?
 
What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
 
What do you have to take to become a coroner?
 
What are hankies useful for?
 
What do you call a pen with no hair?
 
Why can't you get a straight answer from wrestlers?
 
What can speak every language but never went to school?
 
Why are horses always poorly dressed?
 
What's the difference between an orphan, a man with no hair, a baby gorilla's mother, and a king's son?
 
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31-May-2016

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