joe-ks.com
I asked a statistician for her phone number... and she gave me an estimate.
Definition of a Statistician: A Mathematician broken down by age and sex.
I'm not an outlier... I just haven't found my distribution yet!
Never try to walk across a river because it has an average depth of four feet.
A statistician is someone who is skilled at drawing a precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion.
A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. “Bring them to Church on Sunday and we'll baptize them,” said the minister.
“No,” replied the statistician. “Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control.”
Two unbiased estimators were sitting in a bar. The first says, “So how do you like married life?” The other replies, “It's pretty good if you don't mind giving up that one degreee of freedom!”
Some say that if you laid all the statisticians on the face of the earth end to end it would be a very good thing. Others note that if you laid all the statisticians end to end, two thirds would be under water.
Q: Why is a physician held in much higher esteem than a statistician?
A: A physician makes an analysis of a complex illness whereas a statistician
makes you ill with a complex analysis!
A One-Way ANOVA and a Two-Way ANOVA were talking shop one day. The One-Way said,
“I sure do envy the interaction you have with your variables.”
The Two-Way frowned and replied, “Yah, but the minute it diminishes to any
significant extent they really become independent and go their own separate
ways.”
Q:
What's the difference between a physicist, a mathematician, and a statistician?
A:
The physicist calculates until he gets a correct result and concludes that he
has proven a fact.
The mathematician calculates until he gets a wrong result and concludes that he
has proven the contrary of a fact.
The statistician calculates until he gets a correct result about an obviously
wrong proposition and concludes NOTHING, because the explanation is the task of
the scientist who consulted the statistician.
August 2010 Trivia
Fart Facts
Bed Equalizer
Study to Fail
Irish Exam
BIG Dog
BIG Texas Rattlesnake
2004 World Consumption Stats - Can Money Buy Happiness?
A Good Sermon - On Average
Animal Life Spans
August 2010 Trivia
Bed Equalizer
BIG Dog
BIG Texas Rattlesnake
Comparing the Price of Gasoline
Driving Tip For Guys: Don't "Flip" A Female
Early Easter Date 2008
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Fart Facts
Firearm Stats
Hunting Statistics
Irish Exam
July 8, 2009 - 12:34:56/7/8/9
Language Lunacy
Logic, Math & Reasoning Quotes
May 6, 2007: Special Date
'Mean' Death Rate @ Nursing Homes
Noisy Phone Survey
Not-So-Dangerous Operation
Old statisticians never die, they just become nonsignificant.
Pedal Power - Watt A Way To Go
Prince Charles - Marriage Warning
Study to Fail
Useless Stats
Why Neanderthals Became Extinct
World's Largest Sudoku Puzzle
Copyright © 2012 joe-ks.com