#1 humor site on the 'net

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Invitations were sent out to a parking lot sale

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal. - Steve Rubenstein

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. - Marcel Achard

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. - Red Buttons

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. - Conrad Hilton

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

Except for a few guitar chords, everything I've learned in my life that is of any value I've learned from women. - Glenn Frey

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

New Year's Day ... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. - Mark Twain


Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish

Jesus On The Beach

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Moldy Bible

Break Dance Soccer

Milk of Amnesia

Foot-Ball

Exhausted Baby

Open Air Wiring

Miss Chernobyl 2004

Fish Lips

Easy Mopping

African Lunch

Structural Books

Honda Boxer Engine

Sick Tombstone

No Drip

Gun Leash

Whole Human

Antler Field

Moon Football

Bike Rack

Straight From The Cow