QuotaBillsGolf is a good walk spoiled. - H.S. Scrivener
Absentee: A missing golfing peg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells
Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer
Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford
We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones
One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer
They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson
The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff
I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill
I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
The biggest thing is just routine. I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. - Stephen Curry
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
The rules of clockwork might apply to familiar objects such as snooker balls, but when it comes to atoms, the rules are those of roulette. - Paul Davies
Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump