Before Morning Coffee

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney