#1 humor site on the 'net

Either The Cat or Husband Goes

When one of them will go to a good home

Either The Cat or Husband Goes thanks to Miriam Jensen

QuotaBills
Sales Talk: Trade wind - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

Do you Edith....take Archie Bunker to be your lawfully bedded husband? - Archie Bunker

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look. - Mia Farrow

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow's next husband. - American Proverb

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Idling Eric Idle

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

High Heel Diver

Rising To The Occasion

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

I See You

Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast