Either The Cat or Husband Goes

Sales Talk: Trade wind - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Pre-Law: The major of a person who will end up in sales - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland

The husband who desires to surprise is often very much surprised himself. - Voltaire

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me. - Bette Midler

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look. - Mia Farrow

Skunk: 1. A streamlined cat with a 2-tone finish and a fluid drive; 2. A community scenter. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller