Either The Cat or Husband Goes

Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Tailor Shop: Last of the big-time menders - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

The husband who desires to surprise is often very much surprised himself. - Voltaire

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen