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Either The Cat or Husband Goes

When one of them will go to a good home

Either The Cat or Husband Goes thanks to Miriam Jensen

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When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me. - Bette Midler

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look. - Mia Farrow

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


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