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Future Corrections Officer

Where playground security takes bottom priority

Future Corrections Officer thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Words were not given to man in order to conceal his thoughts. - Jose Saramago

If you want to keep a secret you must also hide it from yourself. - George Orwell

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men's imperfections, and conceal your own. - George Bernard Shaw

When you hide the bodies of the problems, that's how you eventually amass skeletons in your closet. - Faydra D. Fields

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah


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Moses' Headache Relief

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