#1 humor site on the 'net

Did You Say Happy Easter?

Hearing impaired chocolates all too common at Easter

Did You Say Happy Easter? thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
Chocolate never faileth. - Annette Lyon

Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

They have ears, but cannot hear. - Ravi Zacharias

He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder

It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

Books and chocolate make life bearable. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. - Unknown

I hear voices... and they don't like you. - Unknown

To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak. - Indian Proverb

Music is like a dream. One that I cannot hear. - Ludwig van Beethoven

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. - Jo Brand

When no one understands you, chocolate is there. - Daniel Worona

I've never met a chocolate I didn't like. - Unknown

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

I'd give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

Weekend forecast: crafting with a chance of chocolate. - Unknown

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

Let us be silent, that we may hear the whispers of the gods. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions. Chocolate understands. - Unknown

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it. - Thomas Beecham

Chocolate is medicinal. I just did another study that confirms it. - Michelle M. Pillow

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear. - Maya Angelou

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. - Andrew Marvell

The world's continual breathing is what we hear and call silence. - Clarice Lispector

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

Death twitches my ear. "Live," he says; "I am coming." - Virgil

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear. - Dick Cavett

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That's my motto. - Barbara Bretton

Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

Softly, deftly, music shall caress you. Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you. - Charles Hart

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have hear below. - Joseph Addison

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

If sometimes you can't hear me, (it's because I'm speaking in parentheses). - Steven Wright

When you don't share your problems, you resent hearing the problems of other people. - Chuck Palahniuk

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. - Laurence J Peter

The next time you hear a social media myth, question it. Ask for the proof, and ask out loud. - Dan Zarrella

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. - George Orwell

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men's imperfections, and conceal your own. - George Bernard Shaw

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. - Judy Garland

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Although you hadn't asked why, it had less to do with you not noticing than with you not wanting to hear the answer. - Jodi Picoult

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

Silent Disco: A disco in which all the participants wear wireless headphones to hear the music, thus eliminating noise pollution - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory. - Thomas Beecham

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Perkatory

Bike Storage

Playground Child Eliminator

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Sidecar

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Three Wise Women

Wrench Dinosaur

One More Drop

Idling Eric Idle

High Heel Diver

Rising To The Occasion

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

I See You

Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist