Happy Keester

Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

Here's looking at you, kid. - Casablanca

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Great shot kid, that was one in a million. - Han Solo

You can kid the world, but not your sister. - Charlotte Gray

Goat Herder: A person who likes to work with kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie. - Unknown

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? - George Carlin

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lilac: 'He's a nice kid but he can lilac anything.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if he wanted to be one? - Jackie Mason

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: I'm with you kid, let's go. - Maya Angelou

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding. - Demetri Martin

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Few Indians only had breech cloths, most being wrapped in buffalo robes, otherwise quite naked. - Zebulon Pike

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

Apparently, as a kid, I used to eat spiders. Maybe there's some Freudian significance behind that. - Matt Smith

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

I was a huge bookworm as a kid, and you could usually find me reading something with a dragon on its cover. - Julie Kagawa

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy

Juvenile Delinquent: 1. A youngster who has been given a free hand but not in the proper place; 2. A kid who starts acting like his parents. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com