Hole In One

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - H.S. Scrivener

Absentee: A missing golfing peg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

Installment: Putting a horse in his stall - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

Family means putting your arms around each other and being there. - Barbara Bush

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Adding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo. - Mary Pickford

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

A good lie will have traveled half way around the world while the truth is putting on her boots. - Mark Twain

The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

The biggest thing is just routine. I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. - Stephen Curry

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez