QuotaBillsBarbed Wire: A sarcastic telegram. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Grace: nutrient in the marriage garden - Phil Callaway
One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas
The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber
Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates
Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman
A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham
Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen
An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy
Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson
There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde
When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx
Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde
Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud
Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman
A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle
Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby
I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor
First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson
Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward