#1 humor site on the 'net

Paradise Found

Sharing the big prize

Paradise Found thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

Only animals were not expelled from Paradise. - Milan Kundera

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

You are now traveling into the paradise of the scholars. - Caspar Wolff

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Leaders inspire. They aren't assigned leadership. They command it. - Dr. Phil McGraw

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

America forms the longest and straightest bone in the earth's skeleton. - Ellsworth Huntington

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. - Adele Brookman

Paradise is here or nowhere: you must take your joy with you or you will never find it. - Orison Swett Marden

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

It is difficult to inspire others to accomplish what you haven't been willing to try. - Unknown

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

When you do not know what you are doing, and what you are doing is the best - that is inspiration. - Robert Bresson

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food. - Sally Edwards

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be. - Horace Bushnell

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Mow Your Lawn

Drinking Alone

being Fearless

Bible Bar

A Good Woman

Tunnel Face

Wheelchair Access

Dog Training for Dummies

Pineapple Slicer

Pole Safety

Singapore SkyPark

Nintendo Guitar

Road Detour

Jerushalom

Hot Seat

LippoPotumus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Senior's Golf Cart

Throwaway Sport Paper

Blonde Geometry Student

Ping Wrong

Tree House

Skull Violins

Finger Phone